The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World
by LordFail
Summary: When the Ed's leave Peach Creek for the Big City they run into friends that help them, but when a series of events orchestrated by forces unknown cause chaos and doom to befall the planet The Ed's and their new friends must reunite with the kids of Peach Creek to embark their greatest adventure. Can they unravel the mystery of how to save this world? And does this go beyond earth?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: **Hello future people and welcome to my first fanfic! In my honest opinion this is going to be more of a creative writing experiment than anything else since I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for the past few months. But what you can expect is a AU crossover with ed, edd n eddy and invader zim (there may be more depending on how insane my brain gets…so expect more later on), I will do my very best to keep things as they should such as the characters personalities and such but I'm also going to be taking some liberties with the setting and continuity so hopefully that won't be too much of an issue. Also I love input whether it be positive or negative (I'm trying to make the best story I possibly can and since my writing experience is next to none constructive criticism is very welcome, although if you're just being an asshole then I'll send you to the pit, the one with pointy things) . That being said why are you still reading this unimportant shit? TO THE STORY WITH YE YA BLATHERING GOBSHITE!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me, I own OC's and this crappy laptop that I'm using…I think.

(This Chapter was updated as of 5/14/13 to restructure the chapter to be easier to read and have better flow, some small dialogue and narrative changes were also made, so if you read this chapter before said date you might want to reread it, otherwise enjoy the story!)

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**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 1**

Our Story begins at a small diner in a rough area of the big city where four people are enjoying a late lunch…

"…and that's why I can't go the strip joint at Brookstone and cherry anymore" said an 18 year old male with blue eyes and messy brown hair down to his jaw line who looked around 5-7 in height wearing blue jeans, Red tennis shoes and a white t-shirt with an unknown stain on the left side.

"Benny that had to have been one the most fucked up but yet intriguing stories you've come up with" said a 16 year old Asian girl with bright blue eyes and Blond hair down to her back in a ponytail who looked about 5-4 in height wearing black vans, brown cargo shorts and a black t-shirt of a local band.

"I'm being serious Fuyuko, I didn't think that actually knock her out!" Benny yelled dramatically

"You didn't think a roll of pennies thrown at someone's head could knock them out?" asked an 18 year old African American male with brown eyes, a short Mohawk, a trimmed beard who stood at an impressive 6-4 wearing blue jeans, black tennis shoes and a white shirt under a leather bikers jacket.

"Well no I mean a roll of quarters I get but pennies? Come on now I don't have THAT good of a fastball" Benny said thoughtfully

"That still doesn't answer my question of why you even thought that rolls of pennies were even a smart idea, I mean can't you just use ones like a normal dumbass or are you just too cheap for that?" Fuyuko asked in a somewhat mocking tone.

"For your information missy, I'm what I like to call an innovator, rolls of pennies are 50 cents a roll, much better value than ones" Benny stated with pride

"Oh yes all hail Benny, innovator and master of giving strippers brain hemorrhages! " Andre said with a very clear hint of sarcasm while mockingly bowing at Benny.

"Oh shut up, besides can't play hookerball with one dollar bills after all" Benny stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What the hell is…you know what whatever I don't need to know" Fuyuko said with clear exasperation in her voice.

"Hey guys check it out" said a 19 year old sitting at the end of the diner table with bright green eyes, long dark blonde hair tied in a ponytail that goes down to his lower back, a light beard, he was around 6-1 in height wearing black jeans, black vans and a white t-shirt under a Gojira band hoodie. He was pointing at the diners TV that was currently playing a news story.

"…Police are baffled as to the rhyme or reason for such a grisly murder, I'm here live with police chief Eric Swain who has just looked over the crime scene, Chief Swain the public would like to know, what happened here?" "Well from what little I can tell this poor soul was quite literally torn apart and as strange as it sounds, coroners have found multiple examples of what can only be described as bite marks" Chief Swain said who was clearly exhausted and sleep deprived. "So it's a rabid animal that we're looking for?" The reporter asked quizzically. "Well that's the part that has us in a bit of a standstill, there are bite marks but they look…human in nature." Chief Swain stated just as baffled by his own answer as the reporter was. "So…were looking for a rabid cannibal?" "I highly doubt it, most likely this was caused by someone who was under the influence of some kind of drug, meth most likely judging by the visceral and spastic nature in which the body was left in, although we haven't confirmed this theory as of now, it's the best we can come up with at this point" "Well as I'm sure you're aware, this has been the third attack like this in the past two weeks, and this was the first of these attacks to take place here in the south side of the city, where drug related crimes are at its highest, the notion of these attacks being caused by a drug addict seems unlikely at this point" the reporter stated clearly bent on getting a better answer out of the chief. "Well at this time we don't have any oth…"

"Cannibal crack head huh? That's some weird shit man" Benny muttered as he lit a cigarette.

"Hey ya little shit put that out or take it outside!" yelled an African American man in his late sixties that spoke with a slight southern accent wearing worn black shoes, worn black pants, a greasy white shirt and an apron that clearly had years of experience.

"Sorry Pops ill put it out" Benny said submitting to the old man's request

"Damn right you will, unlike most of these so called "diners" my fine establishment has standards, including not having my place smell like a dirty hippy on a cross-country road trip, I swear kids th…" Pops continued muttering inaudibly as he went on another one of his famous rants.

"…Well clearly this is a mystery in of its self, well thank you for your time Chief Swain I'm sure you have a lot of work to do" the reporter on the TV said as the interview wrapped up "Yeah your telling me" The Chief muttered, clearly not looking forward to the rest of his day. "Well folks this is Chief Reporter Dan Mathers back to you" The TV then went on to the next story.

"I think you have it right Benny, weird shit" Tomas muttered as he got up from his seat, leaving Benny, Fuyuko and Andre to their own devices so he could go talk to Pops.

"Hey old man you gonna give me a refill or are ya gonna use the heart attack excuse?" Tomas asked jokingly.

"Boy I may not have brought you into this world but I can easily take you out of it, I do have yo mommas permission after all" Pops responded in the same joking manner.

"Haha I'll keep that in mind, so how have you been, thwarted any holdups lately?"

"Lately no, which is a pity since I think old Sally's been startin' to get some dust on her" Pops said referring to his shotgun under the counter.

"Well in this neighborhood I'm sure the peace won't last"

"Ha Never does, so uh have you kids been doing ok?"

"Eh as good as you can around here, the autoshop's been getting more business so that's less free time but that means more money so it's all good"

"oh don't worry I believe you" Pop sighed referring to the fact that the auto shop is right next to the diner.

"oh and I talked with Dorothy yesterday she says that she'll be out of town for a few more days since her friend in the hospital, I'm telling you your mother is one of the most caring human beings I've ever met"

"Well she did adopt US of all people" Tomas pointed out

"Never understood that one, since you know you kids are dumbasses and all but your mother insisted…ah well, it was a good thing in the end…I think" Pops said thoughtfully

"oh wow thank you for the kind words and vote of confidence, I'm just so flattered" Tomas said sarcastically

"Oh whatever ya little shit, get on back to your siblings; they can't last five minutes without you watching em, especially Benny"

"Alright ill catch ya la…what's going on out there?

Just outside the diner Tomas saw a group of six obvious gang members surrounding three boys in a clearly unfriendly manner, one very short, one of average height with a hat on and one very tall with a blank stare. "Hold on Pops I'll be right back" Tomas sighed as he exited the diner, catching the next part of the conversation

"…chose a bad place to get lost kids" said the gang member who was clearly doing the talking

"Please sir we did not mean to bother you, we were just passing through" said the boy with the hat.

"This is our turf, if you wanna pass you gotta pay our toll, 50 bucks, each" said the lead member clearly enjoying watching them squirm.

"50 BUCKS, Who the fuck do you think you are?" yelled the short boy

"Eddy please…" the boy with the hat pleaded trying to calm Eddy down.

"Wrong move kid" the lead member said as he pulled out a switchblade and stepped forward, aiming the blade at Eddy. However before He could bring the blade down on eddy's head a hand grasped onto his arm, stopping the metal utensil's decent.

"Marty, Marty, Marty…I knew you were dumb but clearly I was wrong…your obviously completely stupid" Tomas said with a hint of annoyance as he tightened his grip.

"Oh uh hey man uh what's going on?" Marty said clearly uncomfortable and in pain from Tomas's iron grip.

"Oh nothing much, I was just sitting around having lunch when low and behold I see your handsome face and I just HAD to come say hi" Tomas stated with obvious sarcasm

"Does that involve crushing my arm?" Marty grunted

"Why do you want me to ask how are you?" Tomas said with a smirk.

"No no I'm cool man" Marty said as he put the switchblade back in his pocket.

"Good boy" Tomas said as he let go of Marty's arm, but kept an eye on him.

"You know you're not supposed to be around here right?" Tomas stated with a very serious tone to his voice, almost a polar opposite to his tone just two seconds ago.

"Oh uh yeah man yeah we uh just got lost is all, right guys?" Marty sputtered out as his other friends muttered out various yeahs and yes's.

"Oh? Well here I am standing here in the place where I AND your boss told you to stay out of, and yet here you are acting like your hot shit, care to explain that or should I just call your boss and tell him that your making him look like an asshole?" Tomas said menacingly

"Oh no man that's not necessary man hehe we were just giving these fine young men some directions" Marty said as he put a hand on the hatted boy's shoulder, who was frozen with fear.

"Directions with a switchblade or were you just so excited about helping them that you mistakenly thought that was a map and thought that you were just stabbing his head with directional knowledge?" Tomas said mockingly "I uh..."

"Get out" Tomas commanded and not two seconds after Marty and friends were making what they would later call a "tactical retreat".

"You guys ok?" Tomas asked with concern

"Uh yeah, yeah we are" Eddy sputtered still recovering from almost getting stabbed in the face.

"Well maybe you guys should come inside, clearly you're not from around here" Tomas said as he motioned for them to come inside the diner.

Tomas lead the three boys inside the diner and brought them over to the table with his three siblings.

As they took their seats Benny eyed them with curiosity. "Who the fuck are these guys?" Benny questioned.

"Stray kids that I found out of their element" Tomas stated plainly

"Ohhhh strays, can I keep them? Ill feed them and water them and take them on walks and…"

"Fuyuko they're people not stray dogs" Tomas said humored by her silliness.

"Oh come on what's wrong with a little forced slavery? I could use a servant anyway" Fuyuko said jokingly.

"Nah it's not the slavery thing, it's that I'd have to feed them and feeding your fatass is expensive enough as it is" Tomas laughed as Fuyuko punched him in the arm

"Ass" she said as she stuck her tongue out

"Anyway, so what are your names?" Tomas asked the three boys who looked very confused.

"uh well my name is Edd…with two D's" Edd said who has green eyes, black hair that neatly falls down to his collar, stands at about 5-10 and is wearing blue tennis shoes, black cargo shorts, a red t-shirt and a black sock hat with two white stripes on each side.

"Mines Eddy" Eddy said who has blue eyes, black hair combed back, a soul patch and stands at a mere 5-4 wearing red tennis shoes, blue jeans and a yellow t-shirt under a leather flight jacket and a pair of aviator sunglasses on his head.

"I AM ED!" Ed yelled who has turquoise eyes, a thick unruly mop of red hair and standing at 6-6 wearing black tennis shoes, blue jeans and a white t-shirt under his signature green jacket with white stripes going down the sleeves.

"Ed, edd and eddy huh? That must confuse more than just a few people" Tomas joked

"Well actually most people over in peach creek have no problem with differentiating between our names" Edd stated awkwardly

"Wait you guys are from peach creek? That's like 50 miles away, Holy shit you guys are WAY outside your comfort zone huh?" Benny asked with a laugh

"Yeah well we're as tough as they come man" Eddy gloated with pride

"Yeah…I saw all that toughness five minutes ago" Tomas pointed out, immediately deflating eddy's ego.

"Well I will admit…we are a little lost" Edd said with a hint of sadness. "You see we uh…well let's just say that we're not welcome back in peach creek as of right now." Benny was about to prod for more information but Tomas spoke first

"I gotcha no need for us to unnecessarily open up any wounds." He said understanding the type of situation they could potentially be in.

"Hmm anyway I suppose we should introduce ourselves, I'm Tomas"

"Benny"

"Andre nice to meet ya"

"I'm Fuyuko"

"It's very nice to meet you all and I almost forgot to thank you for helping us out there" Edd said "

Don't worry about it, you guys looked like you could use the help" Tomas said

"So what are you guys like best friends or something?" Eddy asked bluntly

"Well actually that's an interesting sto…"

But before Tomas could finish his sentence a loud crash sounded off from the diner entrance as everyone turned and saw someone with a pistol brake the glass door and shout "Get the fuck on the floor this is a holdup!"

Tomas merely turned around and muttered "Oh this is gonna be interesting"

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**Author's Note: **Chapter 1 is now done; lots of introductions as well as set up had to be done so this chapter kinda comes off as a bit slow, but it has to be done, FOR THE GREATER GOOD! Well that and use all caps like an asshole, completely necessary I tells you. This chapter will probably be redone at some point since I feel like certain parts could be better, oh the woes of a fanfic writer. Anyways feedback is always appreciated and remember to check back for the next chapter of Living In a Fire World!

Oh and fun fact, I came up with the title from the avenged sevenfold song "Save Me", a great song and proof that Pandora is very helpful in the writing process.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: **Welcome back dear readers! I do apologize for the first chapter being as short as it was but quite frankly this next scene just needed its own chapter, seriously it does. I also need to cover a couple of things that I forgot to cover in the first chapters notes section, I rated the story M simply because I know me and know where my mind goes, but I think the rating is really more for violence than sex but really if I come up with something that works for the story then that's what I write, also I'm not a huge fan of censorship in any form so there is that as well. The other thing I want to point out is that the story is probably going to move at a relatively slow pace in the beginning but I'll try to make it as engaging as I can. Any who enough of my useless rambling on to chapter 2!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me, I own OC's, this crappy laptop…and maybe your mortal souls but the jury is still out on that.

(This Chapter was updated as of 5/14/13 to restructure the chapter to be easier to read and have better flow, some small dialogue and narrative changes were also made, so if you read this chapter before said date you might want to reread it, otherwise enjoy the story!)

* * *

**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter **2

Edd and Eddy along with the five other people in the diner immediately complied with the gun wielding criminal's request while Ed simply stared blankly, thinking that this was a part of an action movie; Tomas however had a different idea.

"No" Tomas plainly stated

The man upon hearing him immediately turned and pointed his gun at the source of the defiance "What do you mean no?" the man asked baffled

"I mean no as in fuck off, ill even say it in Spanish, NO" Tomas said clearly enjoying messing with the second rate robber

"But I have a gun"

"And my coffee is lukewarm but you don't see me waving it around and yelling like an asshole"

"But…I have a GUN; you should be doing whatever I say"

"But I choose not to"

"Why?"

"Cause fuck you that's why, oh and by the way you should probably pay attention to your surroundings" Tomas coyly said pointing to the counter, The man turned around only to immediately be looking down the barrels of a very large and fearsome double barrel shotgun in the hands of a very annoyed old man in an apron.

"Boy you must be some kinda stupid" Pops uttered shaking his head in disappointment, riling up the already angry gunman

"What'd you say you old piece of shit?" the man yelled as he walked toward the counter Pops was standing behind, However in a combination of poor judgment and a false sense of superiority got too close to the shotgun wielding old man who in one smooth motion knocked the pistol out of his hand with surprising speed. The robber tried to catch the gun but it sled behind the counter.

"Now…what the hell do you think you're doing walkin' into MY diner wavin' that gun around like you own the place? Do you own this shit?"

"I uh…"

"ANSWER ME WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION, DO, YOU, OWN, THIS, SHIT?" Pops commanded with a noticeable twitch in his left eye

"No" the robber squeaked

"Correct, because I own this shit and I have a rule and that rule is that you don't come into MY diner actin' like a fool wavin' weapons around like a maniac…only I can do that…do you understand me?"

"Y-YES!"

"Good now then…would you like a cup of coffee?" Pops asked while still pointing the gun at the would be robber.

"W-Wha..?"

"MOTHERFUCKER I SAID WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE?"

"Yes!"

"Ok then, Tina get this gentleman a cup of coffee" Pops calmly asked the waitress who did as he asked with no sign of fear or concern, as if she's done this a thousand times before. "Thank you maim, now sir please…try it" Pops said in a very commanding tone, the robber immediately complied as he took a large sip of the drink "Well how was it?" Pops asked

"It-it-it's ok…"

"JUST OK? MY COFFEE IS THE BEST GODDAMN COFFEE IN THE CITY AND YOU JUST SAY ITS OK?" Pops screamed "Gimme that cup…" Pops grumbled as he forcefully took the cup from the petrified robber's shaking hands, using his left hand to take a sip while still pointing the gun in his right hand at him "Hmmm actually now that you mention it this coffee is a bit lukewarm…"

"MINE IS TOO!" Tomas yelled in the background who could be seen watching the spectacle in front of him like a movie.

"OH SHUT UP!" Pops yelled rolling his eyes. "As for you…" Pops said looking at the man in front of him who now had a confused expression on his face. "I'll get you a fresh cup, Tina would you please get this gentleman a FRESH cup of coffee?" Pops asked Tina politely who was annoyed at having to get another cup.

"Spoiled Dickbag…" She mumbled under her breath at the robber as she put the new cup on the counter.

"Thank you Tina, Now…try that one if you would please" Pops asked as the robber took a sip

"It-It's much better"

"Good now, can I get you something to eat?" Pops asked still pointing the gun at the robbers head

"uh n-no I ate an hour ago…th-thank you" the robber responded, adding the last part in response to the stern look that the shotgun wielding maniac gave him

"well I'm sure you at least want a slice of our famous chocolate crème pie…right?" Pops asked, putting emphasis on the last word

"uh y-yeah that sounds uh good"

"Very good sir, Tina would you please get him a slice of pie…to go" Tina quickly put the slice of pie in a to go container and put it on the counter "Now I'm sure you can't wait to try it until you get home so please...have a bite"

"W-wha…"

"DID I STUTTER? I SAID HAVE A BITE OF THAT GODDAMN PIE!"

"OH GOD OK OK!" the robber stuttered out as he tried a bite with a fork that was on the counter

"Well is it not the most delicious thing you have ever tasted?" Pops asked with pride

"Well…"

"I SAID IS THAT THE MOST DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKIN' THING THAT YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' LIFE?"

"Y-YES IT IS!" The robber replied clearly on the verge of tears

"GOOD, now…one cup of coffee and a slice of pie comes out too 3.50 but I'm adding on an asshole tax for you wasting my goddamn time…so that'll 8.50…sir"

"W-What's an as…"

"I SAID 8.50 YOU USELESS SACK OF SHIT!"

"OK OK" the robber cried out as he put the money on the table, dropping a quarter on the ground due his shaking hands.

"Well…what are you waiting for? PICK IT UP!" Pops roared as the robber immediately grabbed the quarter and threw it down on the counter "Thank you, is there any else you need sir" Pops asked with mock kindness

"N-No"

"NO WHAT?"

"NO SIR!"

"THANK YOU…now have a good day" as the robber was about to bolt out the door Pops quickly added "Oh and by the way…I believe those two want to have a nice long conversation with you" Pops said as he pointed towards the diner entrance at two police officers who had been standing there watching the whole thing. The officers were preparing for the robber to run when suddenly he yelled out "OH THANK GOD YOU GUYS ARE HERE DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH ME JUST GET ME AWAY FROM HERE, THIS GUY'S CRAZY!" Both officers unsure of how to react just simply shrugged and cuffed the robber.

As the officers were hauling him off Pops quickly added "Come on back now ya hear?" laughing as the robber started screaming about rabid pies.

"That was…a very unexpected turn of events" Edd stated as he tried to process what he just saw.

"Eh that happens about once a week give or take" Tomas said with a voice of experience.

Suddenly Pops yelled out "Wait a minute"

"What?" Tomas asked with a raised eyebrow

"Forgot to load Sally again…third time in a row, I really need to remember that next time" Pops said as if it was no big deal, everyone in the diner simultaneously yelled out "REALLY?!"

After about 10 minutes it was business as usual in the modest diner with the exception of Benny and Andre who "volunteered" to fix the diner door with Pops supervision.

"No no no lift it up more on the left side the frame is uneven!" Pops yelled as he tried to get the two boys to fix the door properly

"Well if you know how to fix this damn thing so well then why don't you do it?" yelled an annoyed and strained Benny, clear not enjoying his volunteer work.

"Oh ill fix something alright" Pops muttered which was quickly followed up with a fast and forceful smack on the back of Benny's head "Fixed, now back to work"

"DAMN YOU OLD MAN!"

Meanwhile Ed, Edd, Eddy, Fuyuko and Tomas were sitting at their table having their order taken. "I'm sorry for the wait, we had a bit of an event" said the waitress Tina who looked to be in her mid 20s with short black hair, a lip piercing and various tattoos on her arms wearing black boots, a black skirt and a black band shirt under a work apron.

"We saw" Chuckled Tomas.

"Well to your new friends my name is Tina, what would you like to drink?"

"I would like water please" Edd politely said

"I'll take a coke babycakes" Eddy said with a poor quality suave voice, earning him a bop on the head from Tina's notepad.

"Down boy" Tina said sternly

"GRAVY" Ed yelled

"…uh excu…"

"Just put it in a glass, trust me" Edd said pulling her from her confusion.

"Sure…why not" Tina muttered as she wrote down Ed's order.

"You two want anything?"

"I'll start off with tequila on the rocks wi…" Fuyuko's order was interrupted by a fwap on the head from Tina's notepad

"No, none for you tiny one" Tina said in a mocking tone

"Bitch" Fuyuko whispered as she stuck her tongue out at her playfully

"One soda for the shrimp then, what about you Tomas?"

"I'll just have water thanks" Tina took their orders and walked off.

"So what's up with you guys, are you guys like best friends or something?" Fuyuko asked curiously

"We know each other like butter knows toast" said a very happy Ed.

"err close Ed but I think it would be easier to say that we've known each other since kindergarten" Edd stated

"Yeah were the three bonafide amigos, I'm obvious the good lookin' one if you couldn't tell" Eddy said as he winked at Fuyuko.

"Well actually I can't tell since you're shorter than the table" Fuyuko said with a smirk.

"You just got burned Eddy" Ed dopily said with his trademark laugh.

"Shut it monobrow" Eddy pouted

"Anyway, so how about you and your companions?" Edd asked Tomas, wanting change the subject before Eddy blew a gasket.

"Well Me, Fuyuko, Benny and Andre are Family, well we were all adopted by our mom when we were young, but even before that we were kind of like an unofficial family back in the orphanage. We all supported each other since the orphanage we were at wasn't exactly a paradise; those other orphans were mean little bastards let me tell ya" Tomas went on to tell the Ed's stories of them growing up while Benny and Andre still struggled to fix the broken door, by the end of it Benny had a head splitting headache and Pops had a very sore arm.

"So let me guess, you guys don't have a place to stay at?" Tomas guessed

"Well at the moment unfortunately no, but I'm sure we can manage at a motel of some sort" Edd stated with a bit of uncertainty, he had forgotten that at this point they had no home to go to.

"Oh well why don't you stay with us for the night?" Tomas offered

"oh no we couldn't possibly do that, I'm sure we have caused you more than enough grief for one day"

"Motel you say? Good luck trying to get the smell of semen and hepatitis C out of your clothes" Benny joked

"…what were you saying about a place to stay?" Edd said, pulling a reverse on his previous statement

"Yeah man stay with us for tonight, we have a spare room at our place, besides its like 5 in the afternoon already and Peach Creek is a good 50 miles from here, that and some weird stuffs been going on around here lately…well weirder than usual anyway" Tomas said ominously

"What kind of weird stuff?" Eddy asked with great interest

"Apparently some crackhead has been going around eating people, that kind of weird" Benny said nonchalantly, freaking Edd and Eddy out

"ok yeah we're crashing at your place tonight" Eddy said

"Well I'm glad that's settled" Tomas said as he put money on the table to pay for the drinks.

"Moneys on the table Pops, we're heading on out"

"Alright be careful out there" Pops said as The Siblings and The Ed's exited the diner to the cool and cloudy autumn weather outside. They turned to the right from the street corner in which the Diner occupied to the 3 story building next door which had two large garage doors facing the street as well as a regular metal door to the left that was reinforced to prevent break-ins. The building itself was very unassuming with a simple brick design and graffiti both new and some half-cleaned (cleaning the graffiti was Benny's job) with a balcony on the second floor above the garage doors overlooking the street of the rough looking neighborhood. Tomas opened the metal door with a key so the group could enter, inside was a small room with a front desk to the right of a flight of stairs leading to the second floor, there was also a door on the right wall that had the sign "Riverwood Autoshop" on it along with a cheap couch on the right wall.

"Riverwood Autoshop?" Edd asked aloud

"Yeah it's our last name" Tomas answered, satisfying the brainy Ed's curiosity.

Tomas lead the group up the stairs where a wooden door awaited them on the right wall which Tomas also unlocked to reveal a loft style apartment complete with wood panel floors, a kitchen area at the right corner, a living room area with a big screen TV at the opposite side of the kitchen, a large glass door that led to the balcony that was overlooking the street with two cheap lounge chairs, a long dining table with chairs was at the wall opposite of the balcony with a spiral staircase that led to the third floor in the corner to the right of the dining table, various decorations and furniture pieces also inhabited the room which was small but yet inviting.

"Nice digs" Eddy commented

"indeed…" Edd commented

"ED HUNGERS!" Ed abruptly yelled before eating an end table in one bite.

"What in the hell?" Andre mouthed unsure of how that just happened

"That poor table, it had so much more…uh tabling to do!" Benny stated dramatically complete with dropping to his knees and shaking his fists to the heavens, Fuyuko promptly smacked his on the head

"Quit being an idiot"

"Sorry"

"I'm sorry Ed is uh well…Ed" Edd said trying to come up with a better excuse, but after years of knowing Ed he has given up any hope of finding an explanation for Ed's actions, he's just being Ed after all

"Uhh well then maybe it's best if we had dinner then…before Ed eats the whole building" Tomas said who gave up trying to process what just happened

"Why didn't eat at the diner?" Eddy asked

"Let's just say that Pops is…uh…cooking challenged" Andre said, taking a moment to find the right words

"Well doesn't anyone say anything?" Eddy asked

"…do you really need to ask that question?" Tomas pointed out, referencing to a certain incident involving a shotgun

"…good point"

Over the next hour Edd volunteered to cook pasta (the only food that was in the pantry, they really needed to go grocery shopping) and steamed vegetables, fortunately Edd was an adept cook since he had to learn from a young age due to his parents constantly not being home due to work. It was around 8 when Benny and Eddy could be seen on the couch watching TV, taking part in the timeless debate of "Whose tits do you think are better?" Andre and Ed could be seen by a bookshelf reading the comic books that Andre happens to collect; they were in a heated debate on which superhero was better. Edd was in the kitchen cleaning the dishes with Fuyuko who offered to help. Tomas however was feeling a bit restless, which wasn't an uncommon feeling for him to have, especially lately due to all the strange happenings around the city.

"I'm going for a drive" Tomas said, eager to quell his restlessness

"Alright man just be careful out there; bring some chicks while you're at it!" Benny yelled out, earning him an indiscernible projectile hitting its mark on his head thrown by a familiar hotheaded girl.

"You get nothing and like it" Tomas yelled as he walked out the door and down the steps to a door marked "Riverwood Autoshop", opening it to reveal a typical AutoShop with various oil stains on the floor and the office to the left of the door. But what Tomas was searching for was the Motorcycle propped up by the opposite wall, it was a black Harley Davidson night special that he got for a good price from a customer who had wrecked it and whose wife "suggested" that he sold it…or else. Tomas had since then worked on it as a personal project, putting in a passenger seat and putting on a stronger frame to make it more durable. Tomas opened the left garage door, revved the engine and took off down the street.

The night air was cool and refreshing to Tomas who enjoyed the freedom and relaxing feeling that his motorcycle provided him. He noted that the streets were practically empty save for the occasional shady character or unfortunate pedestrian that was either brave or stupid enough to walk around alone at night. "Seems like for the last two weeks there's been less and less people out here every night" Tomas noted to himself, noticing that the quiet and barren city streets gave off a very creepy vibe that he couldn't shake. Before he could formulate another thought his phone rang in his pocket as he took it out to view who was calling "Marquez…maybe calling about those dipshits earlier today" Tomas muttered as he pulled over to answer the call, can't talk on the phone and drive a motorcycle at the same time at night, that's just silly. He propped the bike up on the kickstand, turned off the motor and answered his phone.

"Hey ya hijo de puta" Tomas answered enduringly

"Hey shit for brains" Marquez said with an equal amount of endearment in a surprisingly smooth voice with a Mexican accent

"What's up?"

"Heard you had a run in with my boy Marty earlier today"

"Yeah he wasn't where he was supposed to be so I scared him out; I didn't hurt his feelings did I?"

"Compared to what I did to him you don't need to feel bad"

"oh yeah because I'm just so torn up about it, you can't be having your boys doin' stupid shit like that, makes you look bad"

"Yeah I know man and I'm sorry about that, Marty's got a hamster wheel for a brain if you catch my meaning"

"Yeah I saw, it's all good man"

"Alright thanks amigo, I know that we have an agreement to keep out of your shit so I just wanted to call and apologize"

"Oh? The big scary gang leader is apologizing to little old me? I feel so honored"

"Oh shut it smartass I honor my agreements, despite my…irregular occupation"

"So you're not so bad for a gangbanger is what you're saying?"

"You're lucky you're my friend otherwise I might think you're an asshole"

"Who says I'm not?"

"Not me, you know that"

"Of course, so how haves things been in your neck of the woods?"

"Oh the usual, fornicating with wenches, acquiring currency, you?

"I saw a man have his mind crippled by an old man with a big gun"

"Pops?"

"Pops"

"Very nice, speaking of which have you seen the news?"

"About that guy that got used as a human sized squeaky toy? Yeah real fucked up shit right there"

"I know man, my boys around town have been tellin' me some fucked up shit too, you know how the news said that was the third one in the last two weeks? Word on the street is that that's actually 15, at least"

"Are you serious?"

"yeah man, also one of my boys from out of town called me this morning and said that he saw military decked out with automatic weapons and rolling in armor, even choppers, I'm tellin' you man something's goin' down, I don't know what but I've been tellin' my boys to stay on our turf for the time being, you should tell your family to keep their heads down too"

"I'll do that, thanks man"

"Anytime brother"

Before Tomas could continue the conversation he saw a peculiar sight down the street in front of him walking towards him, it could've been just another pedestrian but with everything that's been going on he knows better.

"Hey uh I'll call you later alright man" Tomas said, keeping his eye on the mystery person

"Yeah alright man, peace" Marquez said before hanging up

Tomas was unsure of what exactly to do, should he drive off now and not worry about it or should he investigate? Every logical and rational fiber of his body was telling him to drive off; it's not your problem.

However he wasn't feeling rational at the moment

He got off the bike and slowly approached the mystery person who seemed to be moving irregularly, he kept his eye trained on the mystery person, knowing that one wrong move at the wrong time could be problematic.

"Hello? Are you feelin' ok?" Tomas asked after getting what he felt like was close enough which was around 25 feet. The mystery person stopped at the sound of his voice and an audible gasp could be heard as well.

"W-W-Who are you?" Said a female voice who clearly sounded very scared.

"Just a concerned citizen maim" Tomas said still feeling uncomfortable at giving out his name to the stranger before him.

"Concerned citizen?!" The female voice suddenly shouted, throwing Tomas off-guard as she rushed to him, allowing Tomas to get a good look at her. She looked to be in her late teens with bright green eyes, short messy blond hair that stopped just below her ears wearing green converse shoes, Blue jeans, a blue t-shirt and a black headband. But the one thing that stuck out to him was the fact that was quite pretty…very pretty in fact.

Well that and the fact she was studying him like he was a work of fine art…or a passed out drunken hobo on top of a second year university student with no pants on, either one works really.

"Hmm I thought you'd be taller Mr. Concerned Citizen" She said in a hyperactive manner

"Uhh wh…"

"And I thought you'd have like some kind of hand laser that goes ZOOMPOWPEWPEWCLANG!"

"Zoowha...?"

"AHHHHHH A STAIN, YOU'RE UNCLEAN!" She suddenly yelled in a dramatic fashion as she pointed to a pasta sauce stain on his shirt.

"I…"

"YOU MUST BE CL…" Before she could finish her sentence Tomas walked right in front of her, took her head in his hands and…shaked it, shaked it like an on edge parent of an infant who just wouldn't stop crying. After a few seconds he let her go and waited, she merely stood still with an occasional twitch in her left eye.

"…WHOOOOO that was fun! Can you do…ACK DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS BE…"

"What I who what how why…WHO ARE YOU?!" Yelled a very confused and strained Tomas.

"Hmm? Oh that's what you wanted to ask? Why didn't you say so in the first place?" She asked quizzically

She didn't get a verbal answer, only the sound a head colliding with a wall, repeatedly, with inaudible ranting in a hushed tone.

"I-I don't think that's very good for you're heal…"

"I KNOW…but it's helping by replacing the confusion with pain…lots of pain" Tomas responded putting his hand on his now throbbing forehead. "Now…who…are…you?" he asked between breaths

"Hm? Oh my name is Hannah…Hannah Ellenmore" she answered with an apologetic smile

Tomas sighed as he watched her, he wanted to be mad…but with that smile, he couldn't stay mad at this eccentric girl before him.

"My name is Tomas Riverwood, What are you doing out here so late, haven't you heard about the weird stuff going on?"

"What weird stu…"

But before she could answer she caught a moaning figure coming out of the alleyway they were standing next to come straight at her and she thought that she could smell blood…

* * *

**Authors note: **ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!...sorry had to get that out, but yeah I finally got this chapter done and a lot more stuff happened, for example we learned to never fuck with Pops…like ever and that our new character might possibly be JUST a little OCD…among other things. Anyway I like how this chapter came out but I'm always looking to improve, so read, review and…uh…acquire wenches, yeah that.

Another fun fact, I got the name Tomas from the great Tomas Haake of Meshuggah, as an aspiring drummer I find him to be one of my biggest influences and one of my favorite all time drummers along with Martin Axenrot of Opeth and Brann Dailor of Mastodon, and great bands that I command ye to listen to…or at least consider, whatever, where's my check? (Fact, there isn't one)

Stay tuned for chapter 3…where STUFF and…THINGS happen with possibly some shit happening, it's a mystery!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Welcome back dear readers! Last chapter…stuff happened! Ok so I'm not good at summaries and such, but you should've read the last chapter so I blame you…kinda. Anyway not much to add here so let's move on to chapter 3 where we might actually have an action scene of awesomeness…I think? (As a side note, Pirate metal = Awesome writing motivation, true story)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me, I own OC's and this crappy laptop…and my .22 cal taxidermy squirrel…that'll make sense later on I assure you.

* * *

**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 3**

But before she could answer she caught a moaning figure coming out of the alleyway they were standing next to come straight at her and she thought that she could smell blood…

…Where she promptly shrieked in surprise before delivering a roundhouse kick to the figure with her right foot, knocking it on its ass. Hannah then proceeded to grab her right foot and hop around on her left leg while wincing in pain.

"Wha-Hannah are you ok?" Tomas asked with concern at the strange turn of events

"Oh yeah I'm fine, it's just that every time I do that it hurts like hell, I think I'm doing it wrong but no one lets me practice" Hannah pouted as she put her foot back down, forgetting about the person that was the source of her foots discomfort.

"…you mean that this has happened before?" Tomas asked with concern…for everyone else's wellbeing.

"It's happened 494 times in my life…actually 495 counting now" Hannah numbered off from the top of her head nonchalantly.

"…I don't know how you remember that but ok whatever" Tomas said before hearing a audible moan from the slumped over figure to his right, from this close it was easy for Tomas to get a good look at the figure as he was trying to get up who looked to be a homeless man with glassy lifeless eyes, dull gray skin and a foul stench which was bad even for someone without access to a shower, he also noticed that the man had what looked to be dried blood around his mouth and on his clothes. It was very clear what needed to be done.

Tomas turned towards the assailant, steeled himself…and punched him square in the face.

"You stay down!" Tomas uttered as the man dropped back down to where he was

"So what are you doing out here anyway?" Hannah asked quizzically.

"Well I was just in the neighborhood going on a nice relaxing night bike ri…your turn" Tomas said gesturing to the man once again trying to get to his feet.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" The man growled, clearly not happy.

"BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME UNCLEAN ONE!" Hannah shouted dramatically as she delivered a straight kick to the man's chest, sending him crashing back down.

"You have slight OCD don't you?"

"Severe OCD, Extreme anxiety and maybe slightly neurotic" Hannah quickly listed off "By the way your turn" She said gesturing to the man that was attempting to once again stand.

"UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" The man growled with more ferocity than before.

"Oh shut up you" Tomas muttered as he delivered another straight punch to his head, knocking him back once again. "Jeez what's with this guy?"

"I find this to be a strange situation indeed" Hannah thought aloud.

"You JUST found this to be strange?" Tomas asked genuinely curious

"Well strange tends to follow me, like this one time I apparently convinced this hipster to light his head on fire because then he could do it before it got cool"

"I…don't think that's how it works but then again it WAS a hipster so I guess nothing of value was lost"

"That's what the paramedic guy said, although that coffee shop still smells like burnt fedora and keratin…"

"UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH "

Tomas and Hannah turned to see the man that they somehow forgot about standing up and looking at them, with rage in his otherwise dull lifeless eyes.

"Time to go"

"Yeah I agree"

Tomas then led Hannah to his parked motorcycle as he quickly turned on the engine and she quickly jumped in the passenger seat as the enraged man chased after the duo with killer intent. But just before he could grab them the motorcycle sped off down the street, leaving the man to fall flat on his face.

"Jeez what was that guy's problem?" Hannah asked loudly over the sound of the motorcycle engine.

"Cannibal crack head" Tomas responded offhandedly.

"That's just stupid" Hannah pointed out after thinking for a few seconds.

"I know but honestly untilget some sleep I just don't care"Tomas said clearly ready for a good night's rest.

"So uh you got a place that I can drop you off at or am I picking yet another wayward soul?" Tomas asked with sarcasm in his voice.

"I pick B as my final answer!" Hannah yelled out with confidence.

"…ok I'm taking you to my place then" Tomas said before sighing to himself 'at this rate I'll have to open a halfway house' he thought to himself reflecting on the fact that there are 3 others that are staying at his house for the night.

On the way back to the Autoshop Hannah told Tomas more about her…interesting life, it was hard to pinpoint exact details since Hannah speaks with the stability of a house made of napalm but he distinctly remembers the words 'Spatula, mental, tomatoes and Bono' It didn't take long for the duo to return to the autoshop as Tomas pushed a button on his key ring that opened the garage door automatically as he guided the bike back to its place of origin as Hannah finished yet another story of her strange life.

"…and that's why I'm not allowed at any future Avril Lavigne concerts…ever"

"Huh never thought that you could do THAT with an electric guitar"

"I didn't either but low and behold, But still I feel sorry for that poor roadie, his femurs will never be the same…"

They continued this odd conversation up the stairs before they could hear a very familiar tune coming from the room above.

"What's that noise?" Hannah asked at the top of the stairs

"I don't know but it sounds famil…" Tomas stopped his train of thought as he opened the door to reveal yet another strange spectacle.

Benny who was in the middle, Eddy to the left and Ed to the right were standing on the couch attempting to sing along to a very familiar song. Fuyuko and Andre were next to them joining in the festivities; Edd on the other hand seemed to be particularly embarrassed at the display before him but Fuyuko was keeping him from running, clearly enjoying killing the sockheaded ed of embarrassment.

_I like big butts and I cannot lie__  
__You other brothers can't deny__  
__That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist__  
__And a round thing in your face__  
__You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough__  
__'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed__  
__Deep in the jeans she's wearing__  
__I'm hooked and I can't stop staring__  
__Oh baby, I wanna get with you__  
__And take your picture__  
__My homeboys tried to warn me__  
__But that butt you got makes me so horny__  
__Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin__  
__You say you wanna get in my Benz?__  
__Well, use me, use me__  
__'Cause you ain't that average groupie__  
__I've seen them dancin'__  
__To hell with romancin'__  
__She's sweat, wet,__  
__Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette__  
__I'm tired of magazines__  
__Sayin' flat butts are the thing__  
__Take the average black man and ask him that__  
__She gotta pack much back__  
__So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)__  
__Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)__  
__Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)__  
__Shake that healthy butt!__  
__Baby got back!_

Both Tomas and Hannah had the same exact reaction to the poor adaptation of Sir-Mix-a-Lot's epic, confusion.

"Family?" Hannah asked still processing what was going on in front of her, while hiding behind Tomas.

"Let's see the two idiots around the bigger idiot on the couch and the one trying to escape from the jaws of death aren't mine, the rest are my idiots." Tomas counted off

"Ah, well if it's any consolation this is worth millions in the priceless moment's category" Hannah meekly whispered.

"Yeah if I can actually collect on that I just might sell them…well maybe just Benny, he's kind of a lost cause"

"I heard that fuckface!" Benny yelled over the loud music that he was now turning down.

"Good then now you know, pack your shit because I'm launching you out of my secret pirate cannon to the goddamn circus" Tomas said sarcastically.

"You have one of those?" Hannah curiously asked

"I wish" Tomas chuckled

"Hey who's that behind you, girlfri…?"

"sex slav...OUCH!" Benny asked, interrupting Fuyuko who responded with a hard punch to the back of his head

Hannah immediately hid back behind Tomas, clearly afraid of this new group of people but also to hide the blush that's creeping up onto her cheeks.

Tomas noticing her apparent shyness tried to remedy the situation as best he could "Guys try to act normal for once in your lives ok? She's fairly shy around new people so Benny that means no biting"

"Hey come on man I don't bite, I'm clearly being abused and/or bullied!" Benny complained

"Speaking of biting I remember that one time when you…"

"I told you to never bring that up EVER!" Benny yelled at Fuyuko who was about to recall yet another embarrassing story at Benny's expense, oh the joys of family indeed.

"…yeah sure anyway, this is Hannah, I met her when I was riding around and we got to know each other while beating a rabid homeless man" Tomas stated as if it was no big deal

"So the usual?" Andre asked

"Pretty much yeah"

"H-H-Hi…" Hannah managed to squeak out while slowly coming out from behind Tomas to face the crowd of strange faces.

"I AM ED!" Ed yelled suddenly while extending his arms for a friendly Ed style bear hug, this also made very visible stink lines appear from Ed's unwashed armpits.

"U-un-u-UNCLEAN!" Hannah yelled as she seemingly changed personalities to a demented, cleaning obsessed one, she was also holding a bottle of dish soap and a garden hose for a truly inexplicable reason. This immediate change caused everyone to show fear.

"Where did sh…" before Edd could finish Hannah immediately jumped Ed who was at this point begging for mercy from the evil cleaning products.

"YOU SHALL BE PURGED OF YOUR FOUL ALIMENT UNCLEAN ONE!"

"NO CLEAN FOR ED!"

"GOOD LORD MAN!"

"Damn"

"20 bucks on the crazy chick!"

"You're on Benny! COME ON MONOBROW SUPLEX!"

"And I thought I could get crazy…" Fuyuko said in a mixture of awe and fear

"I…forgot to mention that she's a little OCD" Tomas responded with the same mixture of emotions.

"Just a little…but honestly he was kinda stinkin' up the place, probably for the best"

"Probably but still, poor bastards gonna be scarred"

This continued for a good five minutes until Hannah seemingly returned to normal, completely confused by what happened. Along with leaving a motionless but surprisingly sparkly Ed on the floor.

"Wh-what happened?" Hannah asked meekly

"Dude you went bonkers and cleaned Ed…like a lot" Fuyuko responded

"Dude you owe me 20 bucks" Benny said smugly

"No fair the fight was dirty!" Eddy yelled

"Actually Eddy in this situation wouldn't the fight be literally clean?" Edd asked, causing an audible groan from Eddy "But still to clean Ed…no one has been able to accomplish such a feat, amazing"

"O-oh NO IM SO SORRY ED!" Hannah cried out, clearly feeling very bad about the trauma Ed just went through.

After a few seconds Ed sprang back up with the same goofy smile he always has on his face. "Do not worry space cadet for Ed knows of the evil mind control powers the spring season has" Ed said as he quickly scooped up a very uncomfortable Hannah in a bear hug.

"Ed I'd advise putting her down lest you awaken the beast once more" Edd said while bracing for another freak out.

"No no it's ok I-I think I'll be ok…but I would like to be uncrushed now please" Hannah pleaded with the vacant headed teen. Ed complied, happy that his attempt at a hug was successful, almost immediately forgetting the rabid cleaning that he just went through.

Everyone reconvened by the couch where everyone talked and got to know Hannah a bit better, but not before washing their hands thoroughly. She slowly but surely got a bit more used to the crowd of people, not comfortable but she wasn't frightened either, although Eddy's attempts at hitting on her were awkward but fortunately Fuyuko kept him mostly quiet through physical violence. She found that she liked Fuyuko a lot as a person, very strong and confident, traits that Hannah always felt like she was missing. Ed was a bit of a problem since the amount of baths he had per year were in the single digits, but he was lovable in a way so she managed to keep herself from freaking out again. Edd was a lot like her in a way, very clean and meticulous; he was almost like a brother in a way. Eddy on the other hand was being quite obnoxious but she could tell that he was a good guy if not a little overconfident. Andre was a quiet guy and kept mostly to himself, heck his size and stature scared Hannah quite a bit but after a while it was clear that he was indeed a gentle giant. She found Benny to be very funny at times but he had some of the same tendencies Eddy had, plus some of his jokes were a bit off color for her taste but still made her laugh.

Then there was Tomas, he was a very peculiar mixture of seriousness and carefree that was quite conflicting. On one hand it was obvious that he was like the head of the group, keeping them together and keeping them from tearing each other apart (too much) and a strong voice of reason among the group, he was clearly a natural leader, even the Ed's who've only known him for less than 24 hours already listened to him like he was the leader. On the other handing she saw the carefree side of him, especially when they were riding back on his motorcycle, it was very clear that he was more relaxed and content, but she supposed that when you go most of your life being a leader and a big brother that you need every moment that you can get to unwind and relax. He interested her more so than everyone else above all though for the simple fact that despite her…quirks, he still helped her and even took her in for the moment (but not without a healthy dose of confusion during their first meeting…but that's to be expected really)

"Well damn…It's already 11, I don't know about you guys but I'm beat" Eddy stated before yawning

"Yes the day has been long and I too am feeling the need for rest." Edd said agreeing with Eddy

"Ed is pooped!" Ed shouted in agreement as well

"Yeah I suppose you guys are right, we got a lot of work to do tomorrow in the garage after all" Tomas muttered obviously tired from the day's events.

Everyone else nodded in agreement as one by one all seven went up the spiral staircase to the third floor which lead to a hallway with rows of doors on each side. The first row were labeled laundry and storage from left to right, the second row were labeled Andre and Fuyuko in the same fashion, the third row were labeled Tomas and Guest, the next row were both full bathrooms (Fuyuko had her own while the guys shared the other) and the final row of doors were labeled Roof and Benny. Benny, Andre and Fuyuko went to their respective rooms to get ready for bed while Tomas showed the Ed's to the guest room which was furnished almost like a motel room with two twin sized beds on the right wall with basic nightstands beside them, there was a CRT TV on a dresser on the left wall with a sofa next to the TV and a window on the wall opposite of the door overlooking an alleyway (fancy I know), there was also a door to a full sized bathroom in the room as well luckily.

"Well it ain't much but it's all I got, now there's only two beds so one of you is probably gonna have to sleep on the co-" but before Tomas could finish his thought Ed immediately jumped across the room and slid inbetween the sofa cushions, disappearing within the depths of the cheap sofa.

"Ed is in his happy place" said a somewhat audible Ed since the cushions muffled his voice.

"I think we'll figure it out" said Edd chuckling at how the situation resolved itself

"As long as the cushions keep lumpy's snoring from waking me I'm happy" Eddy muttered as he started preparing for bed.

"Right…well goodnight guys" Tomas said as he closed the door once again left wondering wither Ed is an actual human or some kind of experiment gone wrong. Tomas pushed that thought out of his head as he headed back downstairs to the balcony for a much needed moment of peace that the nighttime city can provide. As he made his way to the balcony he noticed someone already beat him there, someone with messy blond hair and a fair face that the pre-midnight moonlight seemed to illuminate and make more lustrous.

Hard to believe that that figure was capable of cleaning you to death.

"I almost forgot you were here" Tomas said jokingly as he opened the sliding glass door of the balcony to join her.

"You forgot about the psycho chick that almost killed one of your friends with cleaning supplies?" She asked with a faint smile.

"Well dish soap did raise in price at the local grocery store but that's why we have Wal-Mart"

"So the answer to the attempted murder of your friend is capitalism and bully tactics?"

"Obviously" Tomas said as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, took one out, lit it and brought it to his mouth.

"Would you be offended if I bummed one off ya?" Hannah asked

"Uh no I suppose not" Tomas answered with a bit of surprise as he gave one to her and lit it for her.

"Thanks" she said as she leaned against the railing

"I'm surprised that you smoke"

"Well I don't do it often; it's just kinda eh for me"

"Same here, really for me it's just an occasional stress reliever, but given your disposition to cleanliness I'm surprised you'd even touch the stuff"

"Well…I guess you can say that it's one way I try to cope with the whole cleanliness thing, I figured that if I started doing a few things that aren't exactly positive for my health that I'll get over my issues quicker or something, stupid I know" She explained "Well that and to piss off my parents" She added with a chuckle.

"Huh…well I guess I can see that, just keep away from the hard stuff missy" Tomas joked as he rubbed her head, messing up her hair even more.

"Oh yeah because my pockets are just lined with coke and syringes" She said sarcastically while sticking her tongue out at Tomas in a childish way.

"Hmm so I'm guessing you don't have the best relationship with your parents?" Tomas asked carefully, sensing that this could be a touchy subject. She merely seemed to go off in her mind somewhere with a solemn look on her face.

"…was I wrong in asking about that?" Tomas asked with concern

"Oh no no it's ok, it's just that…well let's just say my parents weren't exactly the most attentive people outside of their work." Hannah said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"ahhhh I see, well I've never even seen my parents let alone have parents that ignored me most of the time…so I guess there's that" Tomas said thoughtfully.

"That must have been rough"

"Well it certainly wasn't easy…but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way" Tomas said, remembering the good times he's had with his makeshift family.

"That's certainly a surprise, usually tend to take the whole no parents thing really hard"

"I ain't no pussy" Tomas said jokingly "Besides as an ex-orphan I can tell you right now, orphans are assholes" he added with a smile, earning a strange look from Hannah. "But in all seriousness, my childhood wasn't an easy one what with having to take care of three idiots for as long as I can remember, but I also learned that crying about it ain't gonna turn back time and make my real parents take me back, I learned that really early on" Tomas said as he rested his arms on the railing overlooking the street. He then felt a pair of skinny arms wrap around him from behind in a tight hug.

"You're lucky that you learned that, I'm still having issues with mine, I mean my most prominent memories with them is either an occasional phone call or watching my mom walk out the door everyday for work, as for my dad was always gone for months at a time for work" She recalled

"I never said that I didn't have issues with my parents…I've just come to accept that I need to move forward with my life instead of thinking about what could've been, as for your parents I don't really know what to say about them since I don't know them personally but I'm sure that in their own convoluted way they care about you" Tomas said trying to comfort the shaking teen attached to his back.

"Maybe…" Hannah mumbled

Tomas thought for a few seconds before he let it a small sigh "Hey I'll tell you what, as I sign of care, compassion and all that crap I won't make you sleep on the couch" Tomas said trying to cheer her up in whatever way he could.

"Oh so I'm not sleeping in the garbage can in the alleyway?" She asked jokingly

"Nah I don't want you to die of a heart attack just yet, you can use my bed" he offered

"Oh no I-I couldn't do that, where will you sleep?" She asked

"With you obviously" Tomas answered nonchalantly, making a very bright red blush creep on Hannah's face, although he couldn't see it.

"W-W-Wh…" She stammered clearly thrown off by the joke

"I'm kidding I'll just crash on the couch, it's not that big of a deal really" He said with a chuckle

"Funny" She said with no amusement in her voice

"I thought it was"

She unwrapped her arms from him so she could deliver a playful punch to his arm before opening the balcony door to head off to bed. "Hey"

"Yeah?"

"…thanks" she said with a small smile

"Yeah…no problem" He said with a soft smile of his own

"Good night" she said softly

"Night" he said as he heard the door close. He waited a few seconds before turning around to see her climbing the stairs to find her room. He turned back around to lay down on the lounge chair to his right; he let out a content sigh as he took one last hit from his cigarette before putting it out.

"Jeez what a day" A very tired Tomas said to himself as he put his hands behind his head and looked up at the few stars that were out before lulling off to get some much needed sleep, for the next day would bring its own set of tests and tribulations for our unorthodox group.

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**Author's Note: **This seemed like a good place to end this chapter so there ya go. I do apologize for this chapter being a few days late (Not that I promised any kind of release date or something) but I had to help my sister move into her new apartment that was up STAIRS…I hate fucking stairs now, I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU AND YOUR DEMONIC STEPS OF DOOM! So anyway that put me out of commission for the weekend, plus I don't like to force the story out, it takes longer but dammit its better for me!

Also I do apologize for the weird spacing towards the end of the chapter, Word is a trifling bitch. Also I do need to put in the obligatory statement of if you enjoy this fic, want to destroy my family or anything inbetween then review, favorite and/or fap to this fic.

This chapter was made possible by the lamb of god album "Ashes In The Wake" and machine heads latest album "Unto the Locust" both are amazing albums and works of musical art, If your into metal or music in general that is (not trying to be a metal elitist douchebag but I do have my preferences goddammit!) Any way chapter 4 shall be written and published…when I feel like it, because screw due dates.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: **STEVE BUSCEMI! That's who Benny reminds me of, I don't know why but he just does. Anyway let's get back to what's relevant…I hope, Ok so I feel like I should explain a bit more on the setting of the story so far but at the same time I also feel like I should do that in the actual story and not the authors notes. So I'll just say that this city is an unnamed city somewhere in Massachusetts (I chose that state because to me the backgrounds and how the forest in the original EEnE show is depicted kinda feels like Peach Creek is based off a location in the Northeastern part of the USA, or possibly even as far as Canada, but I chose Massachusetts because it's actually convenient for a future plot point I'm working up to). I also got my first review on the last chapter, thank you to said reviewer who I've already responded to, as a prize you get 10 Steve Buscemi points! What do they do? I have no fucking idea but since Buscemi points are an intangible object of no grounded worth they can be whatever you want them to be, kinda like a child's dream of what they want to be when they grow up except reality doesn't destroy them with soul crushing efficiency.

Ok so that covered, Steve Buscemi, Massachusetts, my first review and destroying the dreams of children PERFECT, on to chapter 4!

Yo Disclaimer: ah don't own any an' all sheeit an'/or shit dat clearly doesn't belong ta me, ah own OC's an' dis here crappy laptop...an' also uh table but that's not relevant Ya' dig? (I could easily spend hours using an ebonics translator, fo rizzle yo)

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**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 4**

Tomas was ripped away from his slumber suddenly by a very loud chopping noise, almost as if the skies themselves were being torn asunder. In combination to just waking up and falling out of the lounge chair that he just realized he slept on he didn't catch a good view of the origin of the noise, however as he looked towards the northern part of the city he saw a silhouette of what looked to be a helicopter, a very large one at that.

"Helluva way to wake up" Tomas said groggily, still not fully awake. He felt chilly as he realized that he was standing on the balcony in the early morning autumn weather, so he made his way inside the apartment to make a pot of coffee or himself and everyone else who were probably going to be waking up soon, well that's what he thought until he glimpsed at the clock on the microwave in the kitchen.

"6:13? Goddamn Helicopters and their…spinnyness…" He continued to grumble to himself as he finished making the coffee, putting some in a cup from the cupboard above the stove. He was about to indulge in the no doubt delicious concoction when a voice from behind him interrupted him.

"The Helicopter woke you up as well?" Asked Edd who was brought back from dreamland by the passing Helicopter, he was wearing the same clothes as the day before except he had taken off his shirt to be able to sleep better, leaving him in his undershirt that better showed his slender but surprisingly toned physique, he also had slight bedhead that his sock hat hid fairly well.

"Yeah but I was on the lounge chair so I thought I was being attacked or something" Tomas joked, rubbing the side of his head where he had fallen before.

"You slept outside? I certainly hope you got your much needed sleep" Edd said with concern

"Oh I got my sleep alright…I feel like I slept with a pole up my ass but still I got my sleep"

"Well I'm certainly glad that that metaphorical pole in your posterior didn't hinder your sleeping habits" Edd joked, clearly showing that he's not as uptight as he used to be. "Do you mind if I join you for coffee?"

"Sure thing bud" Tomas said as he prepared a cup for Edd, he was a houseguest after all; they both gave a toast…to then contort their faces in disgust.

"This coffee certainly is…bitter" Edd said, putting what he really thought politely

"It's straight black coffee, Fuyuko likes it so you know we just HAVE to buy it, but eh at least it wakes you up" Tomas said trying to make light of the situation.

"I suppose that is one perspective to have…" Edd said before being interrupted by another Helicopter passing by.

"Jesus what the fuck is going on…" Tomas said as he opened the balcony door "HEY HELICOPTERS SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TRYING TO ENJOY MY SHITTY COFFEE!"

"and I'm trying to install my new workout machine!" the local homeless man who lived in the dumpster in the alleyway said "it has 30 different possible workouts THIRTY I SAY!"

"MORNING BILL!" Tomas yelled as 'Bill' said morning back before Tomas shut the door

"I don't believe yelling at the mechanical flying machines will help"

"Yeah well it makes me feel better" Tomas muttered as he turned on the TV to the news, hoping to learn why his head was being bombarded by these loud noises.

"…the city has been put under what can only be described as martial law" Dan the reporter announced "The reasons for the sudden military blockade of the entire city is not entirely clear, but military officials have released a statement saying that this is a part of a large-scale training exercise designed to train soldiers on how to handle a full scale lockdown of an entire city, a rather unorthodox training method if I may say so myself. So far it is not clear weither or not the disturbing series of murders that we have covered over the last few weeks have had anything to do with the lockdown but hopefully we will learn more as the day goes on" as the news story progressed they showed a series of clips showing all the major exits including the west highway exit being turned into what could only be described as full on military bases with blockades on both sides that consisted of barbed wire fence and large armored vehicles with VERY big guns. They also showed clips of military patrols in the streets, complete with heavily armed soldiers and even more armored vehicles.

"…lets wake everyone up, now" Tomas commanded with a very serious tone of voice, Edd could only follow his instruction as they went up the stairs to wake everyone up. Tomas opened Andres door to his room which was a fairly standard bedroom with a large bookshelf of comics and B movies along with various anime posters scattered about on the walls, a dean bass guitar was also propped up on a stand in the opposite corner of the room "Hey wake up"

"mmm 5 more minutes mom" Andre mumbled

"You got 2" Tomas said as he went on to his room next to wake up Hannah, he opened the door of his room to show a fairly typical room just like everyone else's (Living on a budget isn't quite glamorous as many will tell you) But what stuck out was the black Les Paul and acoustic guitars on stands next a very nice looking 6 piece Tama drum set with a pair of 14" hi hats, three crash cymbals that measured 16, 18 and 20 inches respectively, a 24" ride to the right and two chinas to the far left and right of the set measuring 19 and 21 inches respectively. The bed was a queen sized bed with a familiar figure sleeping on it curled up in a ball in the center, Tomas lightly shook her shoulder to gently wake her however when his hand made contact with her shoulder she immediately awoke and aimed a kick right at the right side of his head, almost as if on instinct, fortunately for Tomas's cranial health he caught her leg midkick

"OHMYGOD IM SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO…"

"And good morning to you too, I hope you don't do that to everyone" Tomas joked as he let go of her leg.

"O-Only when I'm surprised" She said still embarrassed

"Right well go downstairs, I need to talk to everyone" Tomas said in a comforting tone, trying to calm down the already tense girl before him.

"Yeah O-Ok, again I'm sorry!" She said as she walked out the door and towards the stairs.

"…and yet I find that cute" Tomas said to himself, after re-evaluating his mental health, which consisted of shaking a magic 8 ball that once again said 'better not tell you now'. He went to wake Benny but not before putting something that was in his dresser drawer in his pocket, as he got to Benny's door he carefully opened it to reveal a rather messy room with clothes strewn about as well as various movie posters on the walls. Tomas carefully took out two items from his pocket

"WAKEY WAKEY FUCKFACE!" Tomas yelled out before quickly lighting a small firecracker with his lighter and tossing it near Benny before running out the door and shutting it. From inside he could hear Benny mumbling something before the firecracker went off a couple of seconds later, it wasn't big enough to cause any damage but it was definitely LOUD.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Benny yelled out as a loud thump could be heard. He opened his bedroom door to see a very satisfied Tomas laughing his ass off at his stunt. "what the hell man?!"

"I-I'm sorry man but I just couldn't resist" Tomas said hardly able to breathe from his laughing fit.

"what if my head got blown off or something?!" Benny yelled not sharing his brothers joy at the situation

"Oh quit being a bitch that thing isn't nearly big enough to hurt your fat head, besides you take forever to wake up so I just went to the next logical step"

"Which was to throw an explosive in my room?!"

"Duh"

"…you're an asshole"

"and I made some shitty coffee downstairs, have at it sport!" Tomas said patting Benny on the shoulder

"I hate you"

"I love you too bro"

"…yeah whatever, I'm glad I had pants on…" Benny mumbled as he went downstairs with Tomas to indulge in some shitty coffee.

**As the author I beseech thee to go back in time a whole 5 minutes and see Edd do stuff!**

Edd knocked on Fuyuko's door before cracking the door slightly "Fuyuko are you awake?"

"Hmmwha...space ghost Pablo is that you?" Fuyuko said groggily, clearly not fully awake

"Uhh…close, its Edd, Your brother Tomas wanted me to wake you for he has something very important to discuss" Edd said softly, trying not to be too loud.

"Oh hey Edd…you can come in you know"

Edd hesitantly entered the room which was adorned with posters of various Metal and Industrial bands, a Jackson flying V guitar on a stand was also in the room and strangely enough there was also an authentic Scottish claymore with a leather wrapped ricasso and the blade angled at a fairly acute point hanging above her queen sized bed that she was still in. Edd kept his eyes off her in an attempt to not offend her with staring.

"You do know that I'm not a wall right?" She said referring to the fact that Edd had been staring at the wall.

"O-Oh I'm sorry it's just that I didn't want to well…stare" Edd said meekly with a slight blush

"Dude I'm not naked so chill, I don't bite" Fuyuko said in an attempt to get the uncomfortable teen to relax

"I-I would certainly hope so"

"Well I don't bite because I have this" She said as she grabbed the claymore effortlessly with one hand and showing it off, leaving Edd petrified "Oh relax I'm not gonna lob your head off or nothing, haven't had my breakfast yet, only then do I lob off heads" She joked, amused by Edd's reactions.

"I-I certainly hope that your saying that in jest"

"If I say yes will it make you feel better?"

"YES"

"then yeah I'm saying it…'in jest'" She worded off as she returned the blade to its place. "Anyway you said to go downstairs?"

"Y-Yes Tomas wanted to talk to us all" Edd said with relief that the very large and shiny weapon was put away.

"Ok" She said as she jumped off from her bed and walked towards Edd

"D-Do you need me to escort you?" Edd sounded off without thinking, a rarity for the highly intelligent Ed. She merely gave him a deadpan stare.

"Do you really think that the 5-4, 120 pound girl that can lift THAT with one hand needs an escort?" She asked with a raised eyebrow pointing at the claymore

"…good point" Edd muttered, feeling utterly stupid for asking 'oh why did I ask such a dimwitted query? Oh she must think of me a fool, maybe I can wa…' but before Edd could finish his thought he felt Fuyuko deliver a light punch to his left arm, it was meant to be playful but it still hurt Edd as he rubbed his arm in response.

"It's nice of you to ask though" She reassured him, seeing that he was bursting at the seams with embarrassment. "But now I must beseech thee to remove thyself from my presence! I need to change"

Edd immediately speed walked out of the room, leaving a very bemused Fuyuko to her business. Edd then entered the guest bedroom where Eddy was sleeping with a slight snore and had a trail of drool forming on the side of his mouth, Ed on the other hand was sound asleep in the couch with the couch cushions bellowing in and out as he snored VERY loudly (luckily for Edd and Eddy the cushions muffled the snores to a more bearable volume) "Gentlemen it is time to wake up" Edd said to no avail "Come on guys wake up!" Edd said a little louder than before and still with no results. Edd sighed as he tried what always worked in this situation "HEY LOOK OUTSIDE ITS RAINING MONEY AND BUTTER TOAST!"

"MONEY?"

"BUTTER TOAST FOR ED!"

The duo awoke and ran to the window; Eddy immediately realized that he was tricked while Ed swan dived out the window. Edd and Eddy both slowly walked to the window to see that Ed had dived headfirst onto the fire escape "Captain Ed reporting for duty Senor Bacon Bits!" Which was Ed for 'I'm hungry, feed me'

"He's ok" They both said at once, fully aware of the irony of said statement.

"Well gentlemen whenever you are prepared report downstairs, Tomas requests an audience" Edd announced in what Eddy dubbed 'Eddenise'

"Yeah Yeah let me just get my pants on" Eddy mumbled before a loud crash could be heard from the fire escape

"REAR THRUSTERS HAVE BEEN HIT CAPTAIN!" Ed yelled before another crash was heard "THEY'VE DESTROYED THE BUTTER RESERVES, YOU FIENDS!"

"…I'll get him" Eddy grumbled as he climbed out the window to retrieve Ed

"I'll be waiting downstairs then" Edd said offhandedly as he exited the room to come face to face with a now changed Fuyuko who was wearing a black band shirt that was cut off and the sleeves to reveal a tattoo on her left arm of a well designed skull and a tribal design on her right arm, she was also wearing dark jeans cut off just below the knees and a worn pair of black vans. Edd also noticed that her shirt was a bit tight on her, making her figure much more prominent to him than before.

"I have come to escort the young lady down the stairway of doom" She said jokingly at Edd's expense as she held out her arm

"Oh HA HA very funny, I'll have you know that I…" As Edd was about say his what's what they heard a very loud noise at the end of the hall, as they turned to the source of the noise they saw Tomas laughing hysterically.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

As the events from before played out Edd took her arm "Let's just go" Edd mumbled

"Does the young lady require a tampon for her womanly needs?" Fuyuko asked mockingly

"NO"

After about 10 minutes everyone was finally situated by the TV watching the news story that both Tomas and Edd watched already, apparently the entire city being forcefully put under military rule and martial law makes the news about as often as which celebrity adopted a kid or got pregnant or punched the most prostitutes while high as a kite on cocaine…who woulda thought?

"Man that's heavy" Andre muttered as he attentively watched the screen

"Wonder what the fucks going on…" Fuyuko thought aloud

"OH GOD ITS LIKE MY 8th BIRTHDAY PARTY ALL OVER AGAIN!" yelled Hannah as everyone turned to look at her "…I'm just saying"

"…do you want to talk about it?"

"NO!"

"…ok then, but for right now I need to go over a few things" Tomas announced, signaling everyone to pay attention. "Look I don't know what's going on, but clearly that spiel about training exercises or whatever is obvious bullshit" Everyone nodded their heads in varying levels of agreement, even Edd had to admit that the situation didn't seem to crystal clear. "As such I'm going to require that you guys don't go anywhere in the city alone, especially at night, I don't know what's going on but I feel that for right now that would be for the best" Although a few had protests they ultimately agreed and felt that Tomas was correct on the matter. "As for you guys" Tomas said as he gestured towards the Eds "I was going to give you guys a lift back to Peach Creek today but with this Blockade that's clearly not going to happen…" all three Ed's went wide eyed as they realized that since the blockade keeps people out AND in that they wouldn't be able to go home, a place that they already missed dearly. "I also know that you guys still need a place to stay, I'm willing to help you out but I'm also not a charity so here's what I offer, you guys can stay here in the guest room, eat with us and all that fun shit, but your also going to work to have that privilege" As he said this Eddy let out a groan

"Work? What do you mean work?" Eddy complained

"Well I'm not a charity or a halfway house so you either take what I'm offering or you can sleep on the curb free of charge…well not on my curb anyway" Tomas stated in a serious tone, silencing Eddy's dissent. "It's nothing complicated but we do need help around the shop, we've been getting a lot of business lately, besides you honestly don't have any better options"

Before Eddy could counter Edd spoke up first "All THREE of us will accept your generous offer, right Eddy?" Edd gave Eddy a hard glare as he said this

"yeah ok whatever" Eddy grumbled, not happy with having to do work but conceiting to the fact that in their situation there wasn't many good options

"Good, Hannah the same goes for you as well, is that ok?" She merely nodded her head in agreement. "Ok then let's get to it!"

It was about 7 when the group had breakfast which consisted of simple cereal; fortunately Fuyuko loved Chunky Puffs, a culinary classic in Ed world. It was about 9 when the group finished eating, showering and getting ready for the day. Andre and Benny immediately went to work on a Nissan NV van, Fuyuko went to work on the engine of a green 4 door car and Tomas pulled the others to the side to assign them jobs.

"Ok here's what you guys do, Edd go help her with that engine, that thing is a mess and needs two pairs of hands to work on it" Edd nodded as he walked over to assist her "Eddy you go get behind the front counter and help any customers, it's real easy just smile and help them with whatever they need" Eddy muttered a quick 'sure' before making his way to the counter. "Ed as for you…" Before Tomas could finish his sentence he turned to see Ed lifting the van over his head with one hand.

"Ed has brought home the bacon mom!" Ed yelled

"…holy fuckballs" Tomas mumbled with wide eyes at the dimwitted Ed's strength

"That must be at least two tons easy" Andre said just as astonished as everyone else

"HEY PUT ME DOWN YA DUMBASS!" Benny yelled from inside the suspended van, its didn't help that Ed was holding it sideways

"Make that three tons" Andre added

"I CAN HEAR YOU YOU KNOW!"

"oh I know, say uh you know how to juggle?" Andre asked with a devilish smile

"JUGGLE IS WHAT ED CAN DO!" Ed shouted to a certain someone's horror

"OH GOD NO!" Benny shouted as Ed started tossing the van up and down with glee

"ANDRE I AM GOING TO MURD-AND PUT A FORK IN YO-SO YOU CANT-AND NEVER USE YOUR-FOR MORE THAN-GODDAMMIT!" Benny threatened as he was bouncing around inside the van.

Ed eventually put the van back where it came from so a very disoriented and very pissed off Benny could tumble out of the back with no grace whatsoever. After Benny and Andre scuffled for a couple of minutes they went back to work with Ed helping them, Benny at that point made Andre do all the interior work.

"As for you, how are you with office work?" Tomas asked Hannah

"Uhh I don't know I'm ok at it I guess?"

"Ok then you'll love this" Tomas joked as he lead her towards the office, he opened the door to reveal a VERY cluttered room with stacks of papers and folders laying around in piles leaving the other contents of the room to be buried.

"…are you trying to kill me?" Hannah asked accusingly while shooting him a dirty look

"I plead the 5th"

"Do you guys even know what a filing cabinet is? Or a freaking computer?"

"I think there's a computer in there…somewhere, it's been a while"

"…I'm stealing your bed again tonight"

"Fair enough"

The rest of the day went without incident for all intents and purposes; Edd and Fuyuko worked out a system where she would do the heavy lifting while Edd would handle more of the organization and other tasks that didn't require upper body strength. Andre, Benny and Ed managed to work together to work on the van, unfortunately the van suffered body damage and interior damage due to Ed's juggling, the damage would take another week at the very least to fix due to how extensive it was. Eddy managed the front desk fairly well, even using his con artist skills to his advantage for once to get more work for the shop. Hannah despite being initially overwhelmed managed to get a chunk of the papers organized and considering the condition of the room, that's quite impressive.

At around 6 in the afternoon the group could be seen in Pop's Diner, well half of the group, Tomas sent The Ed's and Hannah to get new clothes for themselves a couple of hours beforehand, they had worked hard so he felt that they deserved it, plus they smelled of motor oil and ass so really it was more for having mercy on everyone's sense of smell. Tomas was sitting at the bar area with an iced tea, which was necessary after a hard day's work, Fuyuko was talking with Tina the Waitress about her day and other various topics, meanwhile Andre and Benny were having a candid discussion of great importance to society.

"…I'm telling you man, zombie transvestite strippers is an awesome title!" Benny proclaimed

"Yeah I mean it's cool but it just sounds…I don't know kinda dumb" Andre said

"Well yeah it's the title of a B movie, of course it's going to be dumb, but like I always say man when it comes to B movies, especially that of the horror genre, it's not about acting or special effects or even story, it's about entertainment!"

"Ok ok you do have a point but still man isn't that title a bit TOO dumb?"

"No way man! Think about it, Sgt Kabukiman, Poultrygeist, stripperland, all ridiculous B movies with dumb names…well Sgt Kabukiman is actually kinda awesome but still they were all awesome AND entertaining as fuck!"

"…yeah alright add it to the list"

"Sweet! Plus to make things more awesome if it ever got a sequel it would be Zombie transvestite strippers…INNNNN SPPPAAAACCCCEEEEEE!"

"Nice" Andre complimented as he high fived his brother, Fuyuko walked over to investigate what her two brothers were up to.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked inquisitively

"Making a list of awesome titles for B movie horror films" Benny stated as he grabbed the journal he was using to write them down

"Why?"

"Why not? Besides we have some awesome ones like 'Victorian Space Gimp' 'Blackcula vs MechaShiva' 'Space Viking Robots' and 'zombie transvestite strippers'"

"…zombie transvestite strippers?" Fuyuko asked with a raised eyebrow

"Yeah plus I already thought of a scene where using ancient Nazi cloning technology the queen of England comes back to the year 2056 to fight in the strippergeddon" Andre added

"DUDE YOU ARE A GENIUS!" Benny yelled as they high fived once again

"…that is completely wrong on SO many levels"

"But you'd totally watch it though" Benny said

"…I might CONSIDER it, I mean with that kind of title it would be hard not to, it's almost criminal in a way"

"I'm telling you, the title is ALWAYS the selling point for B horror movies" Benny stated with pride

They continued their conversation as The Ed's and Hannah walked into the diner, each with a bag of their own clothes in them.

"You guys done?" Tomas asked as he took a swig of tea

"Yes and we stayed WELL within the allotted 300 dollar budget, a task that proved to taxing for SOME people" Edd responded giving Eddy a dirty look.

"Hey despite the fact that I'm the best looking man on the east coast I still gotta have the best threads" Eddy boasted, making Edd sigh and face palm in mental pain

"Actually in a lot of cases some people tend to try to artificially inflate their 'looks' in such a way to compensate for their insecurities such as other people's opinions, short stature, small peni…"

"Yeah ok ok we got it!" Eddy interrupted Hannah before she ventured down that train of thought any further. This didn't stop everyone from snickering at Eddy's expense, except for Hannah who was confused since she was merely wording off one of the many facts that she has stored inbetween her ears.

The group finished eating and unwinding at Pop's diner at around 7 where they went back to the apartment on what they could do next. As they all were relaxing after a hard day's work Benny came in the room with something in a large bag.

"Hey guys I know what we can do!" Benny yelled with a devilish smile

**Oh jesus why am I here? This mountain of cocaine isn't going to snort itself...what? a segue way? I'm got getting paid enough for this shit alright FINE, abracadab NEXT FUCKING SCENE! **

Benny's head was a swirl of images and muddled voices, almost as if his thoughts were submerged in sludge. His conscience tried to discern these blurred events and sound bites but to no avail. But just as he seemed to give up hope a loud crash thrust him back into reality.

"OW WHAT THE FUCK!" Benny yelled as he rolled on the floor putting his hands over his ears in a vain attempt to block the loud sounds bombarding his head, he already had a VERY large headache without this mystery sound ravaging his mind. He suddenly realized that he was on the apartment floor along with Ed, Edd, Eddy, Fuyuko, Andre who all looked, with lack of a better word, like shit. Ed was sleeping upside-down in a potted plant with no shirt on, revealing a freshly made tattoo on his right arm of what looked to be a phoenix going up his arm, Edd was sleeping on the kitchen counter in his undershirt also with a tattoo of a Japanese style dragon curling up his right arm AND a tribal design on his left arm, Eddy was sleeping face down on the coffee table with no shirt on with a tattoo of demon wings going along his back, Fuyuko was sleeping behind the TV with only her legs visible, Andre was sleeping on the floor and was missing a shoe. Benny looked at the couch to see a very annoyed Tomas holding a crash cymbal on a stand in his right hand and a drumstick in his left with Hannah sitting next to him with a look of clear concern and earplugs in her ears. "WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AND…where are my pants?" Benny asked as he looked at himself to realize that he indeed was not wearing pants. Tomas hit the cymbal once again "WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT!" Benny yelled

"Hmmm…no" Tomas said as he kept hitting the cymbal, much to the past out people's chagrin. "Here you try" Tomas said as he handed the stick to Hannah

"oh please no…" Benny pleaded as Hannah took a tentative swing at the cymbal, once the two objects made contact her eyes brimmed with joy

"LOUD THINGS ARE FUN!"

"OH GOD NO!"

After a very noisy and eventful ten minutes everyone was forcibly up and about, all very concerned about last night's events.

"ah jeez my head is killing me…"

"GOOD LORD MY MOTHER WILL HAVE MY HEAD IF SHE SEES THESE ON MY ARMS!"

"Too many chunky puffs make Ed have pain in head!"

"Jesus man what happened last night?" Benny asked his brother with much difficulty

"oh you wanna know what happened last night do ya?" Tomas asked who was both peeved but also struggling to keep himself from laughing at the events that he witnessed the night before. "Ok then jackass, here's what happened…"

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**Author's Note: **Oh sweet Cthulhu what have I done? Lots of interesting things happened in this chapter which is the longest one yet, military blockading the city, Ed destroying the laws of logic and a The Hangover like scenario to top it off. I kinda feel like my story is diverting from the main plot a bit too much…but dammit I just have to write this part, I'm obligated to by the laws of time and hard liquor.

Anyway since it seems to be a thing of mine up to now I'll go ahead and say that this chapter was made possible by Nightwish and a smattering of various power metal bands, oh and also gorillaz because I'll sort of rediscovered them a few days ago, awesome band but sadly not too relevant nowadays.

Chapter 5 will be up as soon as possible (as in whenever I feel like it…at least its honest) and weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic (Your not obligated to but your free to do so as well…that goes for the fapping as well I suppose) Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Welcome back dear readers, if you're still reading the story, congratulations you're awesome! As such I shall reward you with only having to serve 50 years in the slave pits as opposed to 200 when I take over the earth with SCIENCE! Any who nothing new to talk about so let's get on with it! (I do also want to note that this chapter gets VERY violent, if you're not into that sort of thing then here's your warning ahead of time because I'm just such a nice guy like that, this is an M rated fic after all kids)

Disclaimer: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me; I own OC's and this crappy laptop…and also remember to drink your ovaltine!

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**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 5**

"Oh you wanna know what happened last night do ya?" Tomas asked who was both peeved but also struggling to keep himself from laughing at the events that he witnessed the night before. "Ok then jackass, here's what happened, you brought over some cheap hard liquor, all of you got drunk, went out for a few hours, came back here and passed out."

"Wha-That's it? No longwinded story of every minute detail of what happened followed by I told you so?" Benny asked

"Wait but I didn't drink anything, how did I end up on the floor?" Andre asked

Tomas thought back to last night as he recounted the event…

"Give me back my shoe dammit!" Andre yelled as Ed and Eddy were playing keep away with it

"Guys just give the man his shoe back" Tomas said as he was leaning by the front door

"Okie Dokey Captain!" Ed yelled with a salute before throwing the shoe back at Andre

"Thank y…" Andre would've finished his sentence but unfortunately he had his back turned as the shoe thrown by Ed sailed into the back of his head at a velocity that would've put most people in a coma, knocking him out cold

"Oh jeez…is he gonna be ok?" Eddy asked with a slight slur

"…eh he'll be fine" Tomas shrugged as they left the room to meet the others outside

"Uhh just a shoe to the head…but just in case you should probably see a doctor or something, being knocked out for almost twelve hours isn't exactly a good thing" Tomas responded as he was drawn back to the present

"…sounds about right" Andre replied as he calmly got up and starting making himself breakfast

"Well anyway I thought about stopping you guys…but then I thought eh fuck it that would take effort" Tomas shrugged

"THEN AT LEAST TELL US HOW THIS HAPPENED!" Edd yelled as he indicted to his arms

"No"

"Why not?!"

"…it ruins the mystery" Tomas joked

"TELL ME AT ONCE YOU BLETHERING DUNDERHEAD!" Edd yelled as he was at this point shaking Tomas in panicked insanity

"I REQUIRE ASSISTENCE IN AISLE 9!" Ed yelled as he joined in the shaking of the now dizzy teen, not out of concern for his actions the night before but simply because Ed is Ed.

"ok OK jeez calm down it's not like your missing a kidney or got an STD or somethin'…speaking of which Benny here's your pants" Tomas said as he tossed them over

"Wha-"

"Anyway, at around 10 or so you guys were stumbling around the streets like a bunch of idiots until Edd saw a tattoo shop, since you guys were getting on to him about his attachment to his parents…or as Eddy put it 'The umbilical cord still be attached to ya' and his overall inwardness he decided that the most logical step was to get one…then Ed joined, then Eddy joined, Edd got another and after that I decided to bring you guys back and you all passed out on the floor" Tomas quickly summarized

"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP ANY OF THIS?!" Edd yelled

"Well no captain menstrual cycle you're old enough to make your own decisions, I also told the tattoo guy to go easy on ya, you guys were asking for some stuff that only ends badly, so it's not like I didn't care or anything"

"You were just laughing your ass off weren't you?" Benny asked, giving Tomas a dirty look

Tomas thought back to the night before as we cut to an odd scene in a tattoo parlor where Eddy, who was in the middle of getting his tattoo from an artist with the restraint of a saint, was screaming like a girl in the background while Edd, Benny and Ed were leaning on each other singing 'You Spin Me Round' at the top of their lungs out of key. All the while Tomas was rolling on the floor laughing hysterically with a very confused Hannah poking him with a stick.

"…I did no such thing" Tomas quickly blurted out as convincingly as possible

"BU-BUT-"Edd sputtered

"Oh quit being such a baby you can easily hide those, besides they actually look kinda cool" Fuyuko complimented, trying to cheer him up.

"BU-HE-I-THIS-DO… *sigh* well I guess you're right, although mother will have my head for this" Edd stated with dread

"Eh lighten up sock head, you're not alone in this one after all" Eddy said pointing towards his back while grimacing in pain from the tender skin

"Ohhhh cool" Ed said as he just now noticed the phoenix design on his arm

"Right well since we got all that settled it is also almost 7:30 and work starts at 8 so get off your lazy asses so you can do my bidding!" Tomas commanded as the group of hung over beings groaned in protest.

"Ugh my head hurts like a motherfucker…"

"My arms are severely sore!"

"Ed's energy reserves are in the red!"

"Well tough shit, you guys decided to party it out on a weekday and now you pay the price, now chop chop, I don't have all day, and we have tons of fun filled toil and drudgery to do before the day is gone!" Tomas shouted with an unnecessary amount of chipper in his voice

"Don't I have a sick day I can use?"

"Benny since your family…you get nothing and like it!"

"DAMN YOU YOU TRANICCAL TROGLADYTE!" Benny dramatically shouted as he screamed at the heavens with his arms raised in the air and on his knees

"Oh shut up" Tomas muttered as he smacked Benny upside the head

"OW"

"Well…at least I know they're brothers" Hannah said to herself as she calmly ate breakfast, thankful that she didn't partake in yesterday's merriment.

"No Shit" Andre muttered as he took another spoonful of cereal

The rest of the week went by relatively normally (or at least about as normal as things CAN be under these circumstances), The group worked at the auto shop during the day and relaxed at night by hanging out with each other, it seemed as if each day brought the group closer, The Ed's fit into the Riverwoods dynamic quite easily and Hannah despite her complete lack of social skills and various other 'issues' (no need for detail but…let's just say that Ed takes regular showers now, anyone who knows Ed at all would consider this the achievement of the century), she found herself being very comfortable with this group of relative strangers.

However as good as things have been internally for the group, a very large storm is brewing just over the horizon, the military blockade has put the city in a very tense state of paranoia and fear, the military have mandated strict curfews and laws which surprisingly enough has made crime actually go up and each day brings more protests from citizens who detest being treated like caged animals. Rumors of people going missing and being murdered in the night still continue as well as many people being detained by military police for 'questioning', however as far as the news is concerned these are merely rumors. The city is a metaphorical melting pot waiting to boil over, but soon one final push will bring this crescendo to its peak…

It was a chilly Friday morning as Tomas was going on his morning run wearing black running shoes, Grey running shorts, and a white workout shirt that showed his burly yet athletic physique. This was something he had always done to get more exercise as well as some fresh air. He usually enjoyed the peace and relaxation that his runs usually gave him, however as of late it's been anything but that, with every passing day he noticed the city becoming more and more tense due to the recent happenings, he could almost feel it in the air. There were less people walking the streets each passing day and those who were out and about were visibly paranoid and stressed, the constant military patrols didn't help alleviate the problem either. He was currently in the west side of the city which was considered the city's art district, it tended to be nicer and had more open areas in which Tomas could add to his running trail, but what really interested him was the west highway exit, which is now an area of protest for citizens against what they dubbed 'The Occupation'. With every passing day there seemed to be more and more protesters stacked behind a makeshift barricade that was mainly just a 4 foot tall barrier that was followed by about 15 meters of road followed by the military base that's set up at the top of the highway overpass exit, both sides of the base had high caliber machine gun nests and armed soldiers who were ever vigilant.

Tomas slowed to a walk as he neared the protest site to get a good view. "Jeez there's more and more people here everyday" He said to himself as he eyeballed a good thousand people at the very least, he walked over towards the right side of the protest to where a news crew was set up with a familiar face talking in a microphone…

"Dan Mathers live at day 4 of the military protest where the large crowd of citizens before me are gathered in protest. Tensions in the city are at an all time high ever since video was released yesterday of a citizen being severely beaten by what appeared to be a group of drunken soldiers, officials have not issued a statement on the incident as of yet but it should be understood that the actions of a few do not reflect the whole. There is still no further information on why EXACTLY the city is still under occupation but as you can see citizens are not happy, but fortunately so far the protest has been peaceful…"

Before Tomas could listen in further his attention was grabbed by a loud crashing noise in the direction of the barricade, in a scuffle someone had stumbled and knocked part of the barricade over, an inaudible voice blared over a megaphone from the base as the figure was trying to stand but its movements were jerky and sporadic almost as if its limbs weren't responding to the brain's commands. As Tomas eyed the figure only one thing came to mind "Those movements…they're almost like that guy from the other ni..."

But before he could finish his thought an ear shattering crack sounded off from the direction of the base.

Time seemed to slow to a halt as Tomas watched the projectile rocketed through the figures skull from the back and exit out the right eye socket, causing a splatter of blood and brain matter to cascade from the exit wound, the figure then slumped over on the ground with a loud thud unmoving.

Tomas tried to process what had just occurred but more rapid cracks echoed from the base, He snapped out of his stupor as a man who was standing in front of him took a hit in the chest, causing him to fall towards Tomas who caught him in his arms as the man's head hovered over his right shoulder. However before Tomas could help the man a bullet slammed through the man's skull and out the forehead, causing the bullet to continue sailing through the air as it embedded itself in the throat of one of the cameramen from the news station. Tomas glanced back to see Dan and a fellow crewman drag the still living cameraman away to get him help.

Mass hysteria ensued as people were running in all different directions in sheer panic, some being trampled in the chaos and some being violently gunned down by the hails of high caliber machine gun fire, Tomas had dropped the now dead man and at this point was running on pure adrenaline as he cut through the crowd in a mad dash to escape, he could feel bullets whizzing by his body, luckily not making contact with his body. Some people however weren't so lucky as Tomas watched in unbridled horror as various runners were getting mowed down right before his eyes, One man to his right took a bullet to the back of the neck, causing his head to jerk back violently from the impact as his limp body smacked the ground in deadweight, one woman in front of him fell over as she took a hit to her left forearm, completely severing the limb in a bloody mess. Tomas's mind was still trying to comprehend the carnage taking place before him that forced him to jump, dodge and swerve around the various corpses and wounded forms of men, women and even a few children, his conscious wanted to help all those poor souls however he was in pure survival mode as his capacity for rational thought was replaced with one word

Run

As Tomas laid eyes on his destination he noticed a small confused child 30 feet to his right, without hesitation he quickly B lined to the child as he quickly scooped him up before heading back towards his goal, narrowly dodging the falling body of a man whose right temple had been blown completely open by a stray machine gun round. After of what to him felt like an eternity Tomas managed to escape the gunfire physically unscathed child in hand, as he desperately checked his surroundings he noticed an ambulance with two EMT's that was preparing to provide aid; he handed off the child to one of the EMTs before looking back at the scene he had narrowly escaped from.

He wished that he hadn't

It was something out of a horror movie; the bodies of dozens upon dozens of people were on the ground in writhing pain, many with limbs missing and bleeding profusely, however for every one of them there were at least 3 others who weren't moving. The gunfire continued as armed police and even more ambulances pulled into the scene, all of them just as horrified at the scene before them but jumping into the fire nevertheless to pull those still moving away from the site in an attempt to save as many lives as possible.

Tomas soon noticed that the EMTs he was standing next to had already jumped into action, the child sitting in the back of the ambulance unsure of what was going on around him. Tomas had no words or thoughts that could rationally summarize the harrowing events he had just been through in the last 5 minutes; so he reacted in the only way he could think of.

He ran

He ran as far away from the scene as he humanly could, he probably would've considered it a record on how fast he managed to get to the apartment if it wasn't for the direness of the situation. He didn't remember much from the run back, just the word 'run' echoing through his subconscious and flashes of people on the street giving him puzzled looks. He made his way up to the apartment before busting through the door in his haste, grabbing the attention of the others that were having breakfast as he collapsed on the floor on his hands and knees from pure exhaustion.

"Good lord man what happened?!" Edd yelled with concern

"Are you ok?!" Hannah asked with concern as she ran beside him to check what was wrong

"Turn…on…TV" Tomas replied between breaths, trying to regain himself in the process.

Andre turned on the TV and turned it to the news "…Shots have been fired on the west highway exit as dozens of people are believed to be injured and many more unaccounted for, its mass hysteria out here as police try to secure the area and EMTs try to transport the wounded to the hospital. Even one of our own crew was wounded in the ensuing chaos; we can only hope that the police secure the area and that the medical teams save as many lives as possible." Dan the reporter was reporting from just outside the line of fire as the camera showed just a glimpse of the scene that Tomas had been neck deep in less than 10 minutes ago, he also had a very noticeable splattering of blood on his white button down shirt as he tried to retain his composure.

"Holy shit…" Benny muttered as he had his eyes glued to the screen

"I was…running from that" Tomas said as he got back on his feet; however when everyone looked back at him they had looks of horror painted on their faces.

"Wh-what is it?" Before he got an answer he looked down at his body and saw that his clothes were bathed in blood, completely ruined, he took his hand and rubbed his cheek before examining his fingers which had streaks of blood on them as well.

"I-I need a shower" Tomas whispered as he practically ran up the stairs, no one dared question or follow him up as they watched the news coverage.

Tomas leaned on the shower wall motionless as he ran through the events in his mind over and over again trying to sense of all, all the while staring at the drain as the running water with a slight tint of red circled the drain. 'This is not how I wanted to start my day' Tomas thought as he braced his hands against his leg muscles that along with the rest of his body was drained and ached from use. He sighed as the usually welcoming warmth of the shower did little to settle his nerves. 'I have to hold it together…can't look weak in front of them after all' He reasoned as the thought seemed to calm him down enough to continue his shower routine.

About an hour later a now clean and seemingly more composed Tomas walked down the stairs back down to the TV where everyone else were conversing about the event.

"The amount of force they used is…inhumane" Edd said as he was trying to understand why the military fired into a crowd of seemingly innocent civilians

"They couldn't have at least used tear gas or something?" Eddy asked

"Well SOMETHING must have happened for them to have that insane of a reaction" Andre pondered before noticing Tomas who took a seat by his friends.

"You gonna be ok man?" Benny asked

"Yeah I think so; just a little shaken up is all" Tomas replied

"Well I must ask if it's not too much trouble…what happened?" Edd carefully asked as his curiosity for an insider perspective overtook his desire to not remind the teen of the assuring traumatic event.

"Well…it's hard to remember since I was pretty much running on pure instinct, but I do remember going on my run, going to the protest like I've been doing everyday and the first gunshot…this guy fell over the barrier or something and before I knew it the guys head was going 4 different directions…the rest is fuzzy but it definitely wasn't anything pleasant" Tomas recalled, clearly uncomfortable with recalling the bad memories.

"What did that guy do that caused…well THAT" Eddy asked as he indicated to the TV that was still reporting on the disaster, confirming at least 200 wounded with the death toll still in question.

"Nothing as far as I saw, he looked disoriented or maybe drunk or something but I'm not entirely sure"

"Well I can tell you one thing, you aren't working today Mister, Not after going through all that." Hannah said in a commanding tone that a mother would use

"Yeah…I think we're just going to take it easy for today" Tomas conceded, he wanted to argue but with his body being as drained as it was and the sternness of her voice, he simply couldn't.

"Do not worry my friend for Ed will prepare Butter Toast, butter toast makes everything better!" Ed chimed as he went towards the kitchen.

"Yeah…that sounds nice" Tomas chuckled despite the fact that food was the LAST thing on his mind, but then again Ed had a strange yet effective way of cheering up even the most depressed of people.

The rest of the day went on slowly and somberly, the overall mood of the group was anxious and uncertain, they spent the day going around the city to the various hotspots and shopping centers to try and distract themselves (and someone in particular) from the day's events. The rest of the city seemed to be just on edge if not more so as was evident from the large amount of people at the very same areas the group visited, all just as keen to forget their troubles. However by late afternoon the gang decided to head back home since they witnessed two small scale riots and multiple scuffles between disgruntled citizens and military, fleeing to the relative peace of the diner to enjoy an early dinner since no one wanted to be out at night due to how bad things have gotten in such a short span of time.

It was around 5:30 when the gang returned to the sanctuary of the apartment, Edd tried to call his parents on his smart phone but his call didn't go through once again, afterward he walked towards the corner of the room deep in thought. The rest of the gang took to their normal places to unwind, Tomas decided to walk to the balcony, thinking that perhaps the familiar sounds of the city would calm his nerves. A couple of minutes later he was joined by Hannah

"Hey how are you feeling?" Hannah asked

"I'm doing fine I suppose, just still just trying to make sense of it all you know?" Tomas muttered aloud

"I can understand that, I'm sure that's what everyone else is trying to do"

"Well I'm sure most people don't have to look after a band of misfits and deal with being in the middle of a massacre at the same time, I don't know sometimes the pressure of it all can be overwhelming at times…or maybe I just bitch too much" Tomas chuckled

"Well…I think you feel that pressure because you care and want everyone to be safe…there's nothing wrong with that in my opinion" Hannah added trying to cheer him up.

"Yeah I suppose your right, just one of the burdens of the job I suppose" Tomas joked as he gave a half smile to the girl next to him. Both figures spent the next few seconds enjoying each other's company and forgetting the troubles of the day, however their moment of silence was interrupted by a familiar sock hatted teen.

"Excuse me…am I impeding?" Edd asked not wanting to interrupt

"Nah whats up man?"

"Well over the week I've been compiling data of the recent events using various news sources and public outlets with some…less public sources of mine" Edd said as he took a place next to Tomas leaning his arms on the railing

"Less public sources?" Tomas asked with a raised eyebrow

"Long story"

"Ok…anything interesting?" Tomas asked offhandedly

"Well there are minor contradictions within the media outlets, but that's most likely due to differing fact sources and biases…but when I compared it to my 'less public sources' those contradictions turn into…completely different stories altogether"

"What do you mean by 'different'?" Tomas asked now with a piqued curiosity

"Well first off according to the public there have been a total of 13 murders and the prime possibility is a string of serial killings…but when I dug deeper there have actually been a total of 62 murders, all in the same fashion…but with no evidence of any kind of serial killings" Edd listed off as he checked his smart phone occasionally.

"…ok so if they were all the done in the same way…wouldn't that be evidence of a serial killer?" Tomas asked

"I asked myself the same question, but when I compared the times of death and the locations that they took place that became an impossibility, a lot of these murders took place miles apart and even some literally minutes apart and from what I've seen in the unreleased photos…you just can't do that to a person in just a few minutes." Edd recalled grimacing slightly at the thought of the images he saw

"Well what about multiple killers?" Hannah asked, getting engrossed into the conversation

"Maybe but I simply don't buy it, I took a look at the 50 or so that weren't reported on, they were either ones that were during the day or ones at night that happened in close proximity to the reported ones time wise, if I may be allowed to speculate…it almost looks intentional"

"hmm…hypothetically let's say I'm a secret government cover up…person, if I was trying to cover something up, I could either try to completely cover it up and deny it ever happened…or tell just enough of the truth in a way that benefits me to ward off any curiosity but not the whole truth"

"I've pondered the same possibility myself but every conclusion I come only adds to the mystery rather than solves it" Edd responded as he seemed to go deeper into thought

"But despite all that one still has to ask…if these murders aren't being done by a serial killer…then what is?"

"That Tomas, is the million dollar question"

"Well how do YOU know that it's a million dollars? With today exchange rates that number can vary greatly depending dozens of different factors…" Hannah continued on one of her patented nonsensical tangents when Tomas noticed that it was getting darker every passing second, he glanced up at the sky to see a strange reddish brown mist clouding the sky and blocking the late afternoon sun, the mist swirled around in various places in a slow yet sinister way, making it seem organic.

"What in the hell is up with that?" Tomas asked aloud as he studied the imposing mist that grew thicker and spread further and further with every passing second until it seemed to stretch past the horizon, leaving the landscape in a foreign yet menacing tint

"I-I have no idea" Edd whispered out, trying to come up with a reason for the strange event playing out before him.

"I have a really bad feeling about this…" Hannah said in a tone of concern

"Wait quiet!" Tomas shouted all of the sudden "Whats that noise?" The group listened intently as they picked up a quiet hum that grew progressively louder with each passing second, turning into a loud buzz that seemed to grate on their eardrums in a painful manner. As they traced the source of the sound to above their heads they looked up at the sky to see a large black mass descending upon the city in a swarm.

"Get inside…NOW!" Tomas as he quickly opened the balcony door and motioned for the other two to enter before him, Tomas entered afterward and slammed the door shut just in time to lay eyes on the event before him…

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**Author's Note: **Holy crap I actually finished this chapter, it's almost been two weeks since I last updated, that's due in part to having a busy work week and then catching a cold which put me out of commission for a few days. But excuses aside this chapter also went through a lot of editing (mostly just fleshing out the scenes in better detail and adding more dialogue and such) so I'm actually kinda glad I spent more time on this chapter to make it better for you the readers.

The music that helped this poor bastard write this chapter was brought to you by HammerFall, Mygrain, Opeth and various prog bands, all of whom are indeed worth checking out.

And as always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic (Your not obligated to but your free to do so as well…that goes for the fapping as well I suppose) Thanks for reading and remember fornicating with inanimate objects should only be done in the privacy of your own home…don't know why that disclaimer is needed anywhere ever but I like to be prepared.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Welcome back dear readers, last chapter was a lot of fun to write despite putting it through 2 heavy edits (you try writing coherently with a full on cold, that shit is hard) As such I would like to thank those of you who took the time to take a gander at my story at the very least, I truly appreciate it. Well now that I got the mandatory verbal handjobs out of the way let us proceed with the story, AWAY I SAY!

Disclaimer: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me, I own OC's and this crappy laptop…And as always watch out for bees, those motherfuckers are crafty, like Nic Cage says "NOT THE BEES!"

(As a final note as of 5/14/13 I have edited and fixed chapters 1 and 2 due to the horrible structure of those chapter's dialogue, as of now they are fixed to be MUCH easier to read and easier on the eyes, I also made some very minor dialogue and narrative fixes that I caught during the fixing process, in short if you've read those chapters before said date then give them a reread if you so desire, otherwise enjoy the story!)

* * *

**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 6**

"Get inside…NOW!" Tomas as he quickly opened the balcony door and motioned for the other two to enter before him, Tomas entered afterward and slammed the door shut just in time to lay eyes on the event before him, a large horde of bugs descended upon the unsuspecting city with unrelenting fervor. Only after a few seconds they were already coating the city like an organic blanket swarming through every conceivable nook and cranny, as they passed by the balcony with blazing speed one of the bugs in question came to a halt on the glass door, allowing Tomas to examine it in detail.

The creature in question looked to be almost 6 inches in length and carried itself on six legs with the back pair being especially long as they seemed to be just as long as the bug itself. However the most disturbing feature it offered was a series of strange unnatural looking reddish brown veins that pulsated all around its body, giving it an unsettling and unearthly feel to them.

"Say Edd what exactly is this thing?" Tomas asked as he continued to be entranced by the foreign creature.

"Hmmm it's hard to say even with my vast knowledge of insects…but judging by their behavior and by visual examination this individual, I would say that it resembles a locust…though I have never seen or even heard of one like this one" Edd answered in a tone of confusion as he intently studied the strange organism

"Just don't go try catching it in a jar there sock head" Eddy mumbled as he just like everyone else was mesmerized by the seemingly endless horde of strange locust

"THE ALIEN BUG PEOPLE OF KLENDATHU HAVE INVADED; WE MUST GATHER THE POTATO SPRAY OF BUGLESSNESS AND SPLINTER THEIR SPLEENS!" Ed yelled but before Ed could acquire said spray, the ear shattering buzzing that seemed to penetrate the city started to quickly dissipate as the bug horde seemingly disappeared as quickly as they came, clamoring off in the distance before disappearing from view.

"Cool your jets Monobrow I think the bug people decided to…bug out" Eddy said as he grabbed onto Ed's jacket collar in mid run and earning an annoyed groan from everyone for the poor quality joke

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence someone decided to break the silence "OK...what in the unholy mother of fuck was THAT all about?" Benny asked frantically, knowing the question was on everyone's mind.

"I haven't a clue, locust in large numbers do tend to swarm such as those but they usually only congregate in rural areas where food is more plentiful…not to mention that they do not swarm cities in such a fashion." Edd said trying to find a solution to yet another strange occurrence

"Well that was fucking annoying, I swear if they come back I'll get the flamethrower" Fuyuko muttered as she rubbed her ears to try and stop the ringing.

"Against those numbers I can only assume that you would merely aggravate the horde" Edd replied as he imagined a pissed off Fuyuko with a flamethrower…the thought was conflicting in more ways than one for the brainy Ed.

"No flamethrower for you spaz" Tomas wisely commanded, in which she gave a loud pout and stuck her tongue out immaturely in response "Oh and you can come out now Hannah" He said as he eyed the shaking figure under the couch

"I-I-Is it safe to come out now?" Hannah sputtered out

"No their trying to get in to suck out our brains" Fuyuko joked

"EEEK!" Hannah screamed as she burrowed further under the couch

"Don't worry their gone, she's just being an idiot as usual" Tomas said soothingly as he helped her out from under the couch and back on her feet

"What are you afraid of bugs or somethin'?" Fuyuko asked mockingly after sticking her tongue out at her older brother

"Well actually no bugs are awesome!...it's just that I remember when my dad did an experiment with these locust that ended up eating like six of his assistants and my pet cat Mr. Mittens, luckily though my dad had them in a chamber that superheats to 3000 degrees Celsius…and I challenged the one who ate Mr. Mittens to one on one combat and defeated it with the rapier I made from tin foil and drywall…that was the worst Easter for a nine year old EVER" As Hannah finished her tangent with an unsettling twitch in her right eye she was met with a barrage of confused stares

"…ok I'm not making fun of you anymore, like EVER" Fuyuko said slightly concerned for the blonde haired girl

Everyone gave a small but uncomfortable chuckle as the day's events once again played out in their heads, the frustration of having so many questions with no discernible answers can be discouraging to say the least. After a few moments the ever quiet Andre chimed in "Today's been a messed up day huh?"

"Dude a messed up day is seeing a geriatric table dancing in go-go booty shorts at a Thai restaurant that turns out to be your gynecologist, no today was more of a fuckin' nightmare man" Benny unceremoniously responded in his usual tone of sarcasm

"You got a point I suppose" Andre said unemotionally as he, just like everyone else was quite tired from what was a very eventful day, even more so for some. For the next few hours the gang seemed to be working at minimal capacity as they went about their evening uninterrupted. At around 10 the group decided to hit the hay, as everyone went to their respective rooms to sleep we cut to see a sockheaded teen extremely deep in thought as he prepared for bed.

"What has got your jimmies in a rustle mister?" Ed asked innocently

"Oh hello Ed, this has just been a taxing week to say the least" Edd said as thoughts of home and his parents hung heavily in his mind. "Say Ed…how do think things are back at the cul da sac?"

"Peachy like my sponge Double D" Ed responded in his usual manner

"Well your positivity is certainly uplifting, but I still worry…I mean we haven't seen our parents or our friends for over a week and with all of the strange occurrences…I just can't help but worry" Edd muttered as his mind trailed off

"aww don't worry Double D I'm sure everything is gonna be just fine, I'm sure Mom, Dad, Baby sister and everyone else is just waiting for us to come back home, they might even have a surprise party with presents!" Ed said surprisingly coherently with a tone coated with childlike wonder

"Yeah sock head I'm sure they're all just fine, after all how would I-WE scam them out of their hard earned cash if something happened to them?" Eddy suddenly said as he exited the bathroom, catching part of their conversation.

"Oh I'm so glad that you have their wellbeing in mind" Edd replied sarcastically

"Oh lighten up, I'm concerned too but worryin' bout it ain't gonna fix nothing" Eddy said trying to cheer up his friend

"While that may be true that still doesn't change the fact that something bad might be happening to them" Edd panicked as he still had a mountain of worries on his mind

"Then we will save them from certain deboning!" Ed yelled as he jumped on the bed and pretended to swashbuckle, however one bounce too many caused his head to get stuck in the ceiling

The other two Eds had a good laugh at yet another one of Ed's childlike antics that lightened the mood

"Well…perhaps things will start to look up come morning" Edd yawned out as he felt slightly more relieved

"That's the spirit Double D, Monobrow you coming out of there?" Eddy asked the dangling Ed

"I can't Eddy…my people need me" Ed said as Eddy swore he heard something moving in the ceiling

"Eh knock yourself out Lumpy" Eddy muttered as he climbed into bed. Eddy couldn't help but shift his thoughts to the cul da sac and the people that he constantly referred to as 'pigeons'…well not out loud anyway, they were still his friends after all, he didn't show it due to his need to look tough but Eddy truly did miss his home and everyone there greatly 'dad's probably already blown a gasket and moms probably worried sick' Eddy thought 'eh I'm sure they're fine' he thought in a half-hearted attempt to calm his nerves as he drifted off to sleep.

Edd's mind also drifted off to the cul da sac and its residents, he was truly worried and concerned for everyone back home and despite the fact that over the years he had been able to curtail his various idiosyncrasies, some habits die hard 'I wonder if my parents even know that I'm gone…' Edd thought as he went back to times when he and his friends simply wanted jawbreakers, in those days his parents were relatively attentive to his needs despite the sticky notes and constantly being out at work, but when he was around 12 his parents were progressively getting more and more occupied with work, causing them to come home less and less, a day or two eventually turned into weeks as young Edward was forced to become much more independent than before. Fortunately good friends can make things much more bearable and after the encounter with Eddy's brother Edd along with his two best friends have had an easier time in the cul da sac. Despite the bumps on his road of life Edd would never hesitate to say that his life up to this point has been a good one, thanks to his two best friends 'although I can only hope that Eddy grows up one of these days' Edd thought to himself jokingly as he dozed off to sleep.

Ed's mind was blissfully empty with the exception of occasional thoughts about the surprise party for them back home as he hanged with his head stuck in the ceiling whispering to the rats that he found in the ceiling.

"Ed shut up will ya, I'm trying to sleep!" Eddy yelled as he threw a pillow at Ed's stomach

"OKIE DOKEY SMOKEY!"Ed yelled as he immediately started to snore

"Oh brother…" Eddy muttered as he once again drifted off to sleep

Tomas didn't head upstairs with everyone else as he took his place on the couch, once again letting Hannah use his bed.

"Stupid piece of shit couch…" Tomas muttered as he tried to adjust himself for a proper sleeping position; however after a couple of minutes with his eyes closed he felt the presence of something staring at him. When he opened his eyes he saw Hannah staring at him intently with most of her body wrapped in a comforter and her blonde hair as messy as it always has been.

"Can't sleep?"

She responded with a nod

"Anxiety and the bugs?"

She once again nodded

"Well come on then" Tomas sighed as he led her to his room as she followed with part of the comforter trailing behind her

"I don't have to read you a bedtime story or something do I?" Tomas joked as he was responded with a swift kick to the shin "could've just said no…" he mumbled as he limped the rest of the way to his room where he took a seat at the edge of his bed while she laid down on the bed and curled up.

"So whats on your mind?" He asked

"I'm just worried about everything is all" She mumbled

"Well it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out" Tomas joked as he noticed the anxiety written clear as day on her face

"Oh shut up" She replied with a pout on her face

"Ok ok sorry, what exactly is worrying you?" He asked as he turned to face her

"Well…all the stuff that's been happening this week for one, but it's not just that…" She said as her mind trailed to another more deep-rooted subject

"Oh? Then whats the other thing?"

"My parents" she mumbled

"Ah…a bit of history with them I see?"

"Well…yeah that's one way of putting it, it's not like I hate them or anything but…well let's just say that they weren't exactly the type of people who were good at parenting"

"Honestly I don't think anyone is truly good at parenting from the get go, after all kids are…a handful to say the least"

"And a truckload of phobias and anti-anxiety medicine in my case?" She asked

"Well maybe more like a barge or a fleet of 18 wheelers"

"Gee thanks I'm feeling better already" she said sarcastically

"It's what I do" He gloated as he repositioned himself laying down on the bed next to her "But I would like to hear more about your parents…if you don't mind that is"

"Well let's see…I haven't seen my mom since I was ten and even then I honestly don't know much of anything about her since she was always somewhere…else and my dad was…busy"

"Busy?"

"Well he was a freelance scientist that occasionally did government contracts"

"How foreboding, any mutants or cloning tubes with clones of celebrities?" He asked jokingly

"Well the clones are of either rich people or Elton John, like dozens of Elton Johns, possibly a little Richard in there somewhere…or was it Genghis Khan?"

"Yes because the world is in dire need of a merry band of British singers and Mongolian warlords doing musical numbers"

"You and your jokes" Hannah muttered while rolling her eyes

"What jokes? I would pay any amount of money to see that shit; I could defiantly see Genghis as a tenor…"

"…anyway, I guess my point is that I was never truly close to my parents, I mean hell I didn't even attend school, I was home tutored by dozens of different instructors since I was able to speak, by the time I was 15 I was already learning college level math and science" She recalled with annoyance

"Jeez that must have been a pain in the ass"

"That's an understatement, 'you need to learn all the disciplines of physics that are used in astrophysics otherwise you don't get lunch'" Hannah quoted aloud

"Starving someone to force them to learn? Id admire that if it wasn't so cruel, I mean I can't even do 2 plus 2 without breakfast"

"Yeah…I sometimes wondered if my dad actually you know…wanted a kid"

"When was the last time you talked to him" Tomas asked

"…I'd rather not talk about it now" Hannah responded as her mind seemed to drift to something that made a twinge of sadness appear on her face

"…that's ok you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, this kinda reminds me of this one time that I…" Tomas proceeded to tell stories about growing up and his various life experiences, partially to pass the time but mostly to get her mind off of whatever it was that was depressing her, about an hour later she drifted off to sleep curled up in two blankets that seemed to almost completely engulf her with a content smile on her face. "Well…looks like she'll be ok for now" Tomas whispered to himself to not risk waking her from her slumber, He was rather exhausted himself from the day as was evident from the fact that after he untied his hair to let it breathe he almost immediately let sleep overtake him.

It was hard to adjust at first due to the minimal light in the room and from the fact that he had just drifted back into conciseness, he turned his head to the left to barely make out an unset alarm clock on the nightstand that read '6:37 AM'

"I really need to learn to sleep like normal people" Tomas muttered to himself as he tried to raise his upper body from the rather familiar comfort of his own bed; however he felt a small weight on his chest that confused him

'Huh what is…?' Before he could complete his thought his vision cleared up enough to decipher that a pair of slender arms were wrapped very tightly around his chest, he turned his head slightly to the right to see a familiar figure with messy blonde hair and a seemingly serene expression painted on its face snuggled up next to him as if he was the only source of heat around. And he felt something that he hasn't felt in a long time.

He felt nervous

"…crap" Tomas muttered to himself 'If she wakes up now I'm going to be out the goddamn window' he thought as he remembered how she is when freaked out. He slowly and with the precision of a master lockpick he carefully wiggled out of her hold, not that he honestly wanted to but…he knew better. As he was standing he looked over the thankfully still sleeping woman in his bed, as if on instinct she started to sub concisely feel around for the source of heat that all of the sudden went missing. Thinking fast Tomas quickly but carefully pulled the pillow that he was using towards her, in response she quickly scooped up the pillow and proceeded to snuggle it before relaxing and ceasing to move.

"…you're lucky that your cute" Tomas quietly muttered to himself as he stealthfully exited the room and proceeded downstairs to start up his morning routine of a small cup of coffee before exercise and breakfast. However before he could fill the coffeemaker with water he heard two very distinct cracks of gunfire from outside that made his hair stand on edge, after a few seconds a few more were heard as other sounds started becoming audible. As he took in a deep sniff with his nose he smelled smoke and something…else in the air that did nothing to calm his nerves.

"What in the hell?" Tomas asked himself aloud as he headed towards the balcony by pure instinct, what he was greeted with at the glass door was nothing short of unusual, the sounds became more audible the closer he got and as he got to the glass door he spotted two pillars of smoke off in the distance as well as about half a dozen helicopters of different varieties swooping over the city with purpose.

As he flung the glass door open the morning sun assaulted his eyes and a gust of wind caused his hair to whip back as his senses were bombarded by an avalanche of foreign sights and sounds, the gunfire was much more pronounced and frequent that seemed to come from all directions though not at Tomas himself, the squeals of police sirens, the blaring of fire engines and even what sounded like an explosion of some sort from off in the distance became more discernible as Tomas peered overhead to see yet another helicopter pass by with intense fervor. For all intents and purposes it was a sensory overload of chaos that felt all too familiar…

"…ok who in the fuck did I piss off for all THIS to happen?" Tomas yelled in exasperation at no one in particular

"Apparently the living dead!" responded a homeless man in the dumpster nearby

"Bill?" Tomas asked as he made his way to the right ledge to look down at the man in the dumpster "What the fuck is going on?!"

"It's the living dead and hell on earth amigo! They already got Theodore but they won't get ole Bill no sir!" The slightly deranged man yelled as he pointed to the street with his umbrella to a body lying on its back that was torn to shreds from head to toe, the chest cavity looked to be almost completely emptied of all its contents and two limbs were completely gone with the rest of the body consisting of mostly bones and rags. There was no shortage of blood as it was caked all over the body and street in various densities.

It wasn't a pretty sight that much you can be sure of

Tomas acted quickly as he grabbed a metal pole that was lying on the ground and held it over the ledge

"Grab on before I figure out what the fuck you're talking about!" Tomas yelled, Bill complied as he grabbed on with both hands, Tomas was almost halfway done pulling him up when he felt a strong tug that almost made him lose his grip

"Get off me ya undead cocksucker!" Bill yelled as he delivered a swift kick to the mystery figure's head before being hoisted over the ledge to safety

"You ok?" Tomas asked taking a deep breath

"I'm fine" Bill responded after he checked his leg for any injuries, right afterward a loud thunderous crash sounded off to the left down the street as what looked to be the charred remains of a news helicopter skidded across the street a good 20 meters before coming to a stop with debris flying in every direction

"Stay here" Tomas commanded as he went back inside

"As if I'm goin' anywhere!" Bill yelled as he continued to survey the surrounding chaos

Tomas went to TV and turned it to the news to see a rather stressed and perturbed reporter in the middle of THE story

"…it is unknown what is happening but from various reports it seems to be that the dead are raising and rampaging across the city killing everything that moves, it's not certain weither this is city wide, state wide, country wide or even worldwide but we urge all citizens to lock their doors and barricade themselves inside their homes or wherever you are, the streets are NOT saf…this just in, we are getting reports that the same event is occurring in other states such as Florida, California, Texas, Vermont and Nevada. We are getting a live feed from a Las Vegas news chopper…"

The TV then cut to a overhead view of the strip in Vegas where many flashes of gunfire could be seen along with people running away from a mob of strange looking figures that seemed to be engulfing everything they touched, the camera zoomed in to capture people frantically running for their lives with a battle line of soldiers trying desperately to hold back the horde of figures, but it looked to be in vain as they were quickly overwhelmed as the figures tore them to pieces, one soldier even being torn in half from the waist down by sheer force. The reporter in the chopper let out a bloodcurdling scream as the camera panned over to a shot of the reporter having his throat chewed out before the figure that looked to be another cameraman pushed him away, causing the reporter to hurtle over the edge. The figure immediately jumped at the camera where a scream was followed up with a splatter of blood on the camera lens, the camera slid off the chopper and went into a freefall before slamming down on the street below where despite the obvious damage to the camera it held up long enough to get a blurry shot of the troves of creatures marching forward with the body of a man torn in half that seemed to peer into the camera with dead soulless eyes, a few seconds later the chopper was seen in the distance slamming down directly into the shambling horde with a violent impact before the camera connection went out.

"Shall I awaken the others?" A familiar voice asked as Tomas turned to the source

"Yeah Edd…I think that's a good idea"

* * *

**Authors Note: ** Yup if it wasn't obvious enough the big reveal to the 25,000 words or so of buildup is zombies, a bit overused I know but don't worry as the story goes on there will be more to them than meets the eye (Queue Optimus Prime crashing through my wall like Macho Man Randy Savage and dropkicking my candy ass) So yeah despite it being overused bear with it, there's much more to come.

From here on out things will take a more serious turn (although I will keep to the spirit of the shows goofy and lighthearted nature as best I can, Eds awesome self is in the story after all) since this chapter will put the story setup to a close (for the most part) and get the ball rolling for the main plot to get underway.

Any who as of completing this chapter this story will be officially a month old! It's been tons of fun and let's hope that many more months of updates are to come.

The second half of this chapter was supported by the band Gojira and their musical awesomeness, and as always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic, till next time dear readers!


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: **Welcome back dear readers! Nothing new to report so let's get on with the story.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me; I own OC's and this crappy laptop…and once my plan comes into fruition you all shall know the name of the king! (10 points for you if you get the reference)

* * *

**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 7**

"…and so that's why I woke you guys up" Tomas sighed out as he finished telling the mornings events to the rest of the housemates as they watched the continued coverage of the story of the century as it looked as if the spine of the city was being broken right before their eyes.

"Well that explains the hobo on the balcony" Benny said as he gestured towards the homeless man that was in the middle of relieving himself over the railing

"Hey come on man what the hell?" Tomas yelled

"Well I needed to take a piss!" Bill responded

"Well then use the bathroom upstairs!"

"But you told me to stay out here, how am I supposed to go to the crapper if I can't get inside?" Bill snidely pointed out

"…just get in there will ya? And take a fuckin shower while you're at it, you smell like Benny's axe body spray, trash and cat urine" Tomas shouted as the funky scented man gladly accepted the offer

"…well I do live in a dumpster" Bill accurately pointed out

"Just go will ya?" Tomas ordered as Bill started to ascend the stairs

"My body doesn't smell bad you know" Benny said with a clearly annoyed tone

"Oh and Benny offered for you to use his soap and shampoo!" Tomas shouted up the stairs as he heard a door open and close

"What the hell man?"

"Complaining only gets you pain and in this case homeless man junk on your cleaning products" Tomas said as he smirked at his younger brother

"Remind me to burn everything afterward…" Benny muttered as he got up and started on his breakfast, today was a day that it was needed if there ever was one.

"All possible first floor entryways have been effectively sealed" Edd announced as he and Ed returned from their task downstairs

"Good, the last thing we need is uninvited guests living or dead" Tomas said feeling slightly relieved that at least they were safe for the time being

"All those poor people…" Hannah whispered as she watched the video of people being viciously attacked on the streets

"There's nothing we can do for them at this point" Tomas sighed out as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder that was visibly tense.

"Yeah but still it sucks that they have to be in the middle of all that while we're safe, seems unfair to them" Fuyuko said in a rare sentiment of compassion, not that she was emotionless but her hard exterior didn't allow for such things most of the time

"Well at this point it's about survival…and I can guarantee you that fairness isn't even in the dictionary of survival" Tomas pointed out as he opened a desk drawer and pulled out a pistol along with two magazines

"Wait since when have we had that?" Benny asked with surprise

"Since my paranoia decided that it might be a good idea to have some protection around just in case" Tomas said as he checked the barrel

"And why didn't we know about that?" Fuyuko asked

"Because I don't like kids messing with my stuff, besides I'm the only one trained on how to use it" Tomas pointed out as he stuck the weapon on his person and pocketed the magazines in the right pocket of the light jacket he just put on

"Whats up with you?" Eddy asked with a raised eyebrow

"I'm going out" Tomas said nonchalantly, earning wide eyed stares from the majority of the rooms occupants

"What are you crazy; don't you see whats going on out there?" Hannah shouted in deep concern

"Yeah but we're not sticking around here that's for damn sure, I have a plan but its gonna require me to speak to an…associate of mine" Tomas said as he picked up a baseball bat leaning on the wall next to the door to check its weight in his hand

"Well surely you're not facing this danger alone?" Edd asked

"Yes I am, it'll be easier by myself, plus where I'm going is only a few blocks away anyway"

"Then I'm going with you" Edd said with purpose as he got up, catching everyone's attention

"Oh are you now?" Tomas asked with genuine curiosity at the seemingly timid Ed's sudden bout of courage

"Yes I am, you have done a lot for us that many others would not have, the least I could do is help you in this dire time" Edd responded

"…well I guess I can't tell you what you can and can't do, but you better keep up and pull your own weight" Tomas commanded sternly

"I wouldn't have it any other way" Edd replied as he started putting his shoes on

"Wait Double D you can't be for real" Eddy said as he went to his friend with an expression of shock

"I am Ed, Slayer of the undead!" Ed shouted as he too started putting his shoes on

"Ed you too?!...fine but if we die I'm going to wail on all of you" Eddy said as he gave in to his two friends, as the head honcho he couldn't just let them go out without him, that would just be ridiculous

"I'm coming too!" Fuyuko shouted as she went to retrieve her two handed blade

"Oh no you're not, these three have the free will to go but you don't!" Tomas yelled at his little sister

"That's not fair!"

"That sounds like a personal problem to me" Tomas responded uncaring to her plight

"Hey what about us?" Benny asked as he gestured to his other brother and himself

"Yeah what about us?" Andre chimed in

"All THREE of you are staying here"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR" all three of them shouted in unison

"Yeah well tough, you three are staying and that's final and if I even suspect that you even made one muscle spasm to try and do otherwise you'll be in a world of pain, understood!" Tomas commanded as he gestured at his younger siblings

"Yeah"

"Yes"

"…so unfair" Andre, Benny and Fuyuko muttered as they most certainly didn't agree with the order but at the same time they didn't want to defy their older brother who was surprisingly menacing when he really wanted to be

"Good, we have a homeless guy in the house so we can't leave him here alone anyways, so you're on babysitting duty…its sort of like regular babysitting except that he's tall enough to reach the liquor cabinet" Tomas reminded everyone as terribly out of tune singing could be heard from upstairs

"W-W-What about me?" Hannah asked timidly

"Just stay out of trouble for me, ok?"

"Yeah…ok" Hannah replied as she wanted to help but also conceded that…dead people were germy, besides he knows what he's doing…she hoped

"Ok then, you guys ready?" Tomas asked the three Ed's

"Yes"

"Yes captain sir!"

"Let's just get this over with"

"Ok follow me" Tomas said as he opened the door and led the way to the garage

"Before we go you guys need something to defend your selves with, just get something heavy and solid but something that works for you" Tomas commanded as the three Ed's took a couple of minutes scavenging. Eddy ended up with a rather sturdy tire iron, Ed initially decided on the van but Edd convinced him to get something more…practical (and something that would actually fit through the door), Ed ended up getting a rather large wrench with plenty of weight behind it that normally needed two hands to use, but Ed with his abundance of strength was able to comfortably wield it in one.

"Come on Sock head hurry up will ya" Eddy yelled

"Well excuse me if me stature doesn't allow for me to use these tools for combat!" Edd quipped

"Wait Edd!" A female voice shouted as it made its way into the garage with a strange object in its hand

"Fuyuko I thought I told you stay here!" Tomas reminded her with narrowed eyes

"I am you ass! I…just wanted to give you this before you left" Fuyuko said as she turned her attention to Edd and handed off a rather deadly looking short sword in a sheathe with a blade just under 2 feet with a handle decorated in an intricate rose design, from what Edd could gather it was a rather versatile weapon with no direct application but rather designed to be more of a backup weapon, but for Edd the smaller and lighter build of the weapon suited him perfectly as it felt just right in his hand. "Her name is Fiona by the way"

"I thank you for Fiona, I will take care of her" Edd replied with genuine appreciation

"Just be careful out there…ok?" She sternly commanded of the teen

"Yes ma'am" Edd chuckled out as he gave a salute "but I must ask…where and how do you acquire such strange weapons?" Edd asked with genuine curiosity

"That's for me to know and for everyone else to be afraid of finding out" Fuyuko replied with a smirk

"…so do the freaky ones always go for ya or what?" Eddy whispered in Edd's ear, before Edd could warn his friend a fist with tremendous force connected with Eddy's stomach, causing him to keel over in pain

"As you were saying?" Fuyuko said with a threatening tone of voice

"Nothing…nothing at all" Eddy managed to stutter out between breaths

"That's what I thought bitch" She responded victoriously as she made her way back upstairs

"I could've told you that was unwise but as usual…"

"Just shut up" Eddy groaned as he was not in the mood for another lecture from his friend that wasn't in writhing pain from possible lung collapse

"Quit fuckin around we have things to do" Tomas shouted as quietly as he could as he positioned himself at the door with pistol in hand

"Yes Eddy let us proceed" Edd said with a chuckle as he examined his newly acquired gift with great interest

"Now now it isn't nap time until AFTER lunch time, but not before snack time you little dickens" Ed semi-coherently said as he picked up his short friend with his free hand like a rag doll

"…man its hard bein' me" Eddy mumbled out as he barely hung on to his tire iron while draped over Ed's shoulder

Tomas put his weight on the door as he slowly opened the portal to the outside world, after confirming that the coast was clear he made his way out to survey the surrounding area in more detail, after a second scan of the area he gestured for the other three to come out. Two pairs of feet could be heard followed by a loud thud along with a grunt of pain

"Ed what the heck? Put me down, you slammed my head on the doorframe!" Eddy shouted out while rubbing the back of his now pain riddled head

"Nap time is over little one" Ed replied as he put the hotheaded Ed back on his feet

"Why I oughta…" Before Eddy could finish a hand clasped onto his mouth in an attempt to subdue him

"Shut up will ya? This isn't the place for this" Tomas pointed out as he gestured to the now blood riddled street with the occasional mangled body accenting the ruined concrete, the sky also still held the same red and brown color from the evening before that seemed to discolor the landscape, giving the surrounding area a very morbid and foreboding feeling that was not comforting in the slightest. The three Eds got the message and kept quiet as Tomas led them down the street opposite of the diner, being sure to stay out of the open for as long as possible to avoid any unnecessary conflict.

"So…where are we goin' anyway?" Eddy whispered as he constantly scanned the area with his eyes to spot any possible danger, he was rather skilled in this department from his past experiences with the cul da sac kids that usually meant the difference between sleeping comfortably and sleeping with dozens of bruises on his person

"To this guy I know who we around here call Crazy Pete"

"…Crazy Pete?" Edd asked

"You'll understand when we get there"

"What is he mental or something?"

"Not exactly, he was a war vet or something like that, I've only met him a couple of times when he needed some parts for something or another, otherwise he's always holed up in his place"

"If you barely know him and he has a reputation for being a social recluse, what makes you think he'll help us?" Edd asked

"Yeah and how do you know that he actually CAN help us?" Eddy questioned

"The parts he ordered from us were really unusual, parts that you'd find in vehicles with huge engines and with an immense weight to it, plus every time I pass by his place I always hear blowtorches, hammers hitting steel, that sort of thing, he's building something and call it intuition but I have a feeling that it'll be exactly what we need"

"So…you have no idea what we're doing?" Eddy hesitantly asked

"Damn straight"

"Were to expect this level of planning from you in the future then?"

"Well I call it pulling ideas out of my ass but that sounds a lot better"

"Can we go to the petting zoo afterward?" Ed asked as he seemed surprisingly focused on his surrounds

"All questions are to be held until the end of the tour" Tomas replied rolling his eyes at Ed's usual antics

"But we haven't even seen the galactic hub yet!" Ed whined

"Heh, just keep followin' me bud" Tomas replied as he stepped over yet another mutilated corpse. As they made their way to their destination the group had mixed feelings on what they were witnessing, Tomas simply stayed focused on the task at hand, trying his best to ignore the death and gore around him. Eddy was scared out of his wits but did a rather good job at masking that fear to not appear weak to his friends. Edd was surprisingly calm and collected despite being in a situation that most would find breakdown inducing, his mind kept thinking about the possible causes of what he is witnessing, logically most of his theories held no water in the real world but he was determined to solve the mystery…he is a sucker for scientific discovery after all. Ed was the most focused out of the three; the prospect living in a scenario that only existed in one of his comics less than 24 hours ago was exciting to him, however he also understood the direness and threat that is present, so he was set on protecting his friends from the legions of the dead no matter what

"Do like the zombie hunters in the dead world comic would…" Ed mumbled to himself as they made their way down the eerily empty streets of death and destruction. To most the emptiness would be a good sign but for how true that was it didn't make things any less tense, in actuality it made things even more tense due to the many possible avenues of surprise attack such as the many alleyways, rooftops and various doors and windows that dotted the buildings along the way. It was strange since they could clearly hear the sounds of gunshots and screams in the distance but yet they haven't come across any live conflict, it felt like the eye of the storm in a way. After about 15 minutes of slow and meticulous trekking they finally made their way to their destination, a fairly unassuming and dreary looking building that seemed to imitate every other building next to it with the exception of a garage door with a reinforced door to the right.

"Ok guys were here, keep behind me, shut up and just let me do the talking" Tomas ordered as he put his gun away and replaced it with a modest sized rock that he picked up on the sidewalk.

"Whats the rock for?" Eddy asked curiously

"You'll see" Tomas answered as he tested the door handle, sure enough the door swung open to reveal a dark and musky room that he could only assume was the garage. "Come on and like I said…let me do the talking" The three Eds nodded as they entered the room, as Edd who came in last entered the door immediately slammed shut leaving them in complete darkness, they could hear the scuttling of a pair of feet as a voice bellowed aloud

"What business do creatures of the night have in my domain?" The voice had a very heavy southern accent but otherwise nothing else could be pieced together about him. Tomas didn't reply as the voice continued "Who sent you? The Camarilla? Sabbat? Or perhaps the Cappadocians aren't dead after all…well no matter…entering was your final mistake children of Caine…prepare for your fin…" But before he could continue Tomas finished determining the origin of the voice as he sent the rock in his hand hurtling towards its target at breakneck speed, a resounding thud followed by a loud crash could be heard, a couple of seconds later Edd found a switch along the wall and flipped it, illuminating the room.

"Son of a bitch that hurt!" The voice cried out as he could now be clearly seen amid a pile of junk that he landed in. The man in question looked to be in his mid to late 50's with short gray hair that was tussled about and unkempt, he was fairly tall at around 5'11 in height and had a rather strong build despite his somewhat advanced age with the exception of a minor beer belly that was visible from the grease stained white shirt he was wearing, he was also wearing very dirty blue jean workpants and tan colored work boots that were just as dirty.

"Well then you shouldn't have been climbing around the rafters like a crazy person" Tomas retorted to the older man before him who clumsily managed to get on his feet with some effort but not before he secured his 10 gallon hat that fell with him as he placed it back on head where it belonged.

"Well excuse me for tryin' to defend myself from the vampire menace!" He responded with a heavy southern drawl as he fumbled for something on the ground

"…vampires?" Edd asked with a high degree of confusion

"Yes vampires! Now then…give me one good reason why I shouldn't send yall to your final death" He threatened as he quickly picked up what he was looking for, a makeshift crossbow that looked to be expertly made despite its worn and rough exterior, and aimed it at the group

"Well for one thing it's not loaded" Tomas pointed out as indeed the weapon did not have a bolt in the channel

"…well shit hold on a sec" He said as he searched the floor for the missing bolt "I just had it a second ago…" He muttered as he continued to search

"Would you like some help in becoming a threat or should we just make ourselves at home?" Tomas asked sarcastically

"Hold on Hold on just give me few more seconds" He muttered as he checked under a shelf

"…you know we're not vampires right?" Tomas asked as if should've been obvious…which is was

"You're not? Well why didn't yall say so?" He quickly responded as he slung the weapon over his shoulder "The names Pete" He cheerily said as he extended a hand

"Well we've already met but uh the names Tomas and this is Ed, Edd and Eddy" Tomas replied as he pointed out the Ed's respectively who were just a little confused to say the least.

"I have?...OH you're that hippie feller from that autoshop!" Pete replied as he finally remembered

"…sure why not, now whats this about vampires?" Tomas muttered as he internally started to wonder weither this was actually a good idea

"Haven't yall seen the TV? The vampires are on a full scale assault on the city!"

"Those aren't vampires"

"What the sam hell you talkin about? Course those are vampires!"

"No…no their not"

"Well how do YOU KNOW?"

"…its 9 in the MORNING"

"That strange red mist is blockin out the sun, vampires I tells ya!"

"Ok well what about the fact that their eating people flesh and all?"

"I'm sure their just REALLY hungry"

"Ahem if I may interject?" Edd interrupted as he grew tired of the debate that wasn't going anywhere "If those are indeed vampires, then where are all the bats?" Edd asked feeling slightly stupid for asking such a dumb quest…

"By George's onset diabetes he's right!" Pete yelled "But if not vampires then what?"

"Oh oh I know I know! They are zombies from the negative zone here to feast on our brains!" Ed answered very animatedly

"I've been to the negative zone once, great seafood but the cost of living is just too dang high…I think, anyway yes zambies make sense…a lot more sense once I think about it, and here I was planning for a vampire invasion for three weeks straight!"

"…you planned for a world invasion from vampires for three weeks straight because…" Tomas asked while gesturing with his hand for him to finish

"…in hindsight I might've made an error in judgment on the whole situation, that tends to happen when I go on an acid trip, that or grand theft auto give or take"

"…so anyway we came because we need your help" Tomas said, changing the subject in hopes of being able to get back on track

"My help? What would yall need my help for?" Pete asked with a raised eyebrow

"I'll keep it short and simple, we need a way out of the city since all the exits are blocked and the whole legions of undead thing makes it that much harder, I figure with your help and some competent planning we can cut our way out of this crumbling concrete jungle" Tomas propositioned

"And what makes you think I can help, hell what makes you think I even WANT to help, I've survived on my own for most of my life so why would I need help now? I may be old but I ain't as useless as my grand pappy after Monday night football and hard drinkin'" Pete smirked as he thought he gained the upper hand

"Don't bullshit me old man, I know for a fact that the parts you ordered from us are for something big, REALLY big. Also every time I pass by this place I always hear the oh so familiar sound of metalworking and car modification and to top it off…that crossbow is handmade and very well designed despite its inherent roughness, implying that you could at least have the skill set possible for building something along the lines of what those parts are designed for...also I don't care how tough you think you are, one man ain't gettin' past thousands of zombies and a military blockade with military grade weaponry and vehicles, face it…you need help weither you like it or not" Tomas listed off, making Pete more and more uncertain with every sentence

"…although you might have a point, what can you give me that would convince me to even listen to ya?" Pete asked as he stared into Tomas's eyes which remained steely eyed and confident

"A chance" He simply replied

The crossbow wielding man looked to be in deep thought as the group tried to read what was going through his mind, but due to his apparent unpredictable nature combined with the composure of a man with many years of life experience that seemed to be a pointless venture. After a couple minutes of deep thought he finally answered

"…ah what the hell why not? Ain't like I'm leavin' here anytime soon, follow me then and I'll show you what I got." He motioned for the group to follow as he led them to the back of the building to a room that looked to be a study of sorts with bookshelves full of books lining the walls as well as a single armchair next to an end table that had a taxidermy squirrel resting upon it.

"Books? How's a bunch of stupid books gonna help us?" Eddy yelled as he entered the seemingly out of place room as compared to the rest of the building which was unkempt and dirty.

"Tell your talkin midget thing to quiet down" Pete shouted as he sat down in the armchair but before Eddy could respond he pushed forward on the taxidermy squirrel, which made a clicking noise that made the room immediately shake as it started to slowly descend like an elevator

"Not all is as it intentionally appears to be" Pete added calmly as he leaned back his seat enjoying the ride.

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**Authors Note:** OH GOD NOT THE SEX DUNGEON…I mean ha sex dungeon, like I would know anything about that haha…ha, anyway another chapter, another sleepless night for yours truly. Made a few references to world of darkness and introduced a new character which I just realized is basically Big T Larrity from Code Monkeys (well that's as I imagine him being anyway your free to make your own interpretations as the story moves along) if you haven't seen that show go watch it, it's hilarious.

Anyways as always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic, till next time dear readers!


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note: **Welcome back you uncultured swine…er I mean dear readers! I apologize for this chapter being as late as it is, a LOT has been going on, Went to Akon 24 (still trying to recover from the massive amounts of weeboos and furries), a trip to San Diego and not to mention work getting rather busy. However I've taken as much time as I humanly could to slowly piece this chapter together (I am a perfectionist after all) Anyhow enough meandering, on with it slave!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me; I own OC's and this crappy laptop…AND THE RUSSIAN TANK ON THE GODDAMN MOON!

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**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 8**

The group made their way off the unconventional elevator after about 5 minutes of decent

"Mass Effect eat your heart out…" Edd mumbled

"What are ya babblin' on about" Pete asked confused at the strange reference that was foreign to the hermit

"That elevator was slow as hell!" Eddy yelled as he kicked his foot against the elevator door

"There ain't nuthin' wrong with my elevator!"

"Well it did take 5 minutes to go down what…10 feet?" Tomas pointed out

"It just needs a little…adjustment that's all!"

"There's a lot of things that need adjustment around here…" Eddy mumbled to himself as he made his way down the hallway with the rest that was rather clean in comparison to the garage above. After a few moments they found themselves at a steel door to the right with no knob but rather a keypad.

"Alright fellas feast your eyes on this!" Pete excitedly shouted as he entered the code and opened the door to the room, revealing what looked to be a makeshift armory of sorts lined with a surprising variety of weapons from common sidearms to rather dangerous looking military grade hardware, the fact that this was in the hands of a man with highly questionable sanity was just a bit unnerving for everyone involved.

"Jesus what were you preparing for the apocalypse?!...good call" Eddy said as he eyed the many tools of destruction displayed on the walls

"World domination actually but that's beside the point" Pete quickly rattled off before changing his tone to that of a salesman before anyone could think further "Now you may be wondering 'Pete there are just so many shiny things, where could I possibly start?' Well I'll tell ya starting with…"

"We'll take everything…since were leaving together we might as well take as many as we can" Tomas pointed out, attempting to avoid hearing the obvious sales pitch

"Well fine then take the fun out of everything why don't ya" Pete muttered visibly annoyed "but you can't just take EVERYTHING"

"Well then what CAN we take?"

As the two debated over the weapons Ed immersed himself in examining all the different weapons on the walls in wonder 'cool' Ed thought as he eyed a particularly nasty looking LMG. However his search came to a stop when he noticed a table in the far left corner of the room with an assortment of strange objects on it ranging from a toy car, to a large belt buckle, to even a taxidermy squirrel like the one on the elevator, Ed picked up the squirrel with curiosity as he wondered what exactly something like this was doing here.

"Hey hey don't be messin' with that stuff now, its experimental!" Pete quickly yelled as he made his way over to the tall Ed

"Oh oh like in return of the living door handles where they harvested the internal organs of humans to create tapioca for their grilled brain and garbanzo paste sandwiches?" Ed asked excitedly

After a long silence Edd spoke up "Ed...We've talked about this remember?"

"Yeah but I always put the seat down" Ed replied as he got yet even more confused stares

"…boy your head more jumbled than my cousin Joe after he fell in the woodchipper" Pete responded as that even he was unsure of what to think

"Please excuse Ed, he is er…well he's Ed" Edd said unsure of weither he actually gave any kind of explanation

"Well either way I'll be takin' that" Pete announced as he quickly swiped the squirrel out of Ed's hands

"You said something about these being experimental?" Tomas asked as he noticed the rest of the cluttered table

"Why yes I did!" Pete replied with pride as he made his way over to the table "I like to think of myself of something of an inventor of the unconventional…as you can see by my collection of experimental weaponry each with…varying amounts of success"

"Oh this I gotta hear" Tomas mumbled as he took a couple of steps back

"Like this for example" Pete said as he picked up the toy car "May look like any other toy car…however what you don't know is that this has enough plastic explosive to level a city block…here catch" Pete quickly tossed the object to Edd who barely caught it with a look of pure unadulterated fear as he carefully put it down on a nearby table…VERY carefully

"This right here" Pete then picked up the belt buckle "May look like an ordinary oversized yet stylish belt buckle…but what you don't know is that by pressin' this here hidden switch a small but reliable .22 caliber gun come out, perfect for a surprise attack" Pete pushed a switch towards the top of the buckle which caused the buckle to split out into halves to reveal the small gun with two circular ammo containers that acted as its ammo supply

"Is it supposed to look like a dick?" Eddy asked as he examined the device

"Why yes, yes it is" Pete said no more on the subject as he put the device back on the table "But this right here is my personal favorite" Pete brimmed with pride as he held up the squirrel

"And pray tell what THAT does" Edd asked despite the immense fear in finding out the design of yet another one of this man's "inventions"

"Oh well you know let's say you're just walkin' down the street mindin' your own business when all the sudden an oversized Russian loan shark corners ya and demands that you pay the ten thousand dollars you owe or he's gonna break your legs with a toothpick" Pete got into the scenario as he jumped onto a table "well then you can go whowa-" his sound effect was cut short as a loud bang followed by a series of ricochets emanating from the walls as the group jumped on the ground for cover "…as you can see there's a .22 caliber gun in there…no one EVER sees it coming"

"Good lord man that thing almost killed us!"

"Yeah man what are ya a demented Q?!"

"I said experimental didn't I?" Pete yelled in defense

"That doesn't excuse the fact that you almost took my goddamn head off!"

"Well It ain't my fault you don't understand the beauty of innovation"

"YOU JAMMED A GUN UP A SQUIRRELS ASS!"

"It's Science Dammit!"

"ENOUGH!" Tomas shouted as he brought himself back to his feet "Let's just go look at everything else before a magic 8 ball levels the city or something" Tomas muttered as he made his way to the door with everyone following suit. They made their way to a door at the end of the hall

"Now I know that your puny minds have been blown by my genius dozens of times over already" Pete announced in an overly hyped up announcer style of voice

"Man after what happened in that last room, you saying that our minds will be blown does NOT comfort me in the slightest" Eddy said sarcastically

"…just look in the damn room you ungrateful bastards" Pete mumbled as he opened the door in the same manner as before to reveal a very different room that seemed to resemble a garage identical to the first floor, only much cleaner and with clear signs of recent use. The walls were dotted with various design blueprints that all looked to have many various scribblings and edits done in a sporadic yet cohesive way as well as tables lining the walls with dozens of gadgets and machine parts spread haphazardly along the surfaces. There was also an unfinished dune buggy by the back wall that seemed to have armor plating, although it wasn't nearly done as evident by its lack of wheels and a pile of assorted parts that have yet to be fitted on the contraption

However the most defining feature of the room would have to be the giant APC tank in the middle of the room that looked futuristic in design and armed to the teeth with mounted machine guns, rocket launchers, a menacing looking flamethrower and for some inexplicable reason an antique pirate cannon. The vehicles size was nothing short of grandiose with the wheels being as big as the beings that would occupy the mechanical behemoth.

"Holy Crap…where in the fuck did you get THAT?" Tomas asked in awe as the others were too awestruck to vocalize their impending questions

"Funny story behind that…well I think it was funny, I don't really remember much of it, but all I know is that I woke up here in a wraslin' costume with a note on me sayin' "Nos reuniremos de nuevo luchador diablo blanco", this beauty was in front of me and apparently it was a month later…quite a good month if I do say so myself…I think" Pete recalled the strange tale much to everyone's confusion

"…and the dune buggy in the corner?" Edd asked

"Garage Sale" Pete replied

"How anticlimactic" Edd mumbled

"This'll certainly help us…does it run?" Tomas asked

"Well mostly, I have to make a few interior fixes and some diagnostic tests but otherwise she's good to go"

"I'll be the judge of that" Tomas muttered as he opened a latch that dropped a ladder inside down and began ascending into the mechanical monstrosity

"What don't believe me?" Pete asked slightly offended

"Hell no" Tomas yelled as he climbed inside

"Well…he has his reasons" Edd pointed out as he climbed in behind him

"I just hope it doesn't blow up or something" Eddy muttered following Edd

"I haven't a clue Eddy" Ed said as he followed Eddy

"Shut up Ed"

"Damn kids…Pete what have you gotten yourself into…" Pete mumbled to himself as he climbed into the vehicle where the other four were already examining the interior which looked like a combination of a small living quarters for a crew of eight and a military command center, although the abundance of features didn't leave much leg room despite the inherent size from the outside "So tell me Mr I know everything, is my beauty up to your standards?" Pete asked sarcastically

"…is this shag carpet?" Tomas asked in disbelief as he noticed the floor

"Well yeah, shag is cool"

"Maybe almost half a century ago" Tomas muttered sarcastically

"I don't know, I mean I kinda like it man" Eddy pointed out

"Well I must point out Eddy that your taste is rathe…is that a periscope?" Edd asked noticed the contraption that seemed to block the already tight walkway

"Why yes, ingenious no?" Pete said as he brimmed with pride

"Well…this is designed for submarines so having one here is rather well, pointless, especially with the already present windows" Edd pointed out

"BUT, what if the windows don't work?"

"…how does a window not work exactly?"

"Well…"

"CHUNKY PUFFS" Ed bellowed from the front of the vehicle to everyone's surprise

"Ed what are you talking ab…" Tomas stopped midsentence as he and the other two Eds noticed what Ed was staring at

"…ok explain to me why the stick shift is a box of chunky puffs" Tomas asked in disbelief

"Well I didn't exactly have a stick shift to use and I figured id might as well use the next best thing"

"…A box of cereal is your number 2 in this situation?" Edd asked baffled

"Heh…number 2" Ed giggled childishly before being smacked on the head by Eddy

"Well either way that needs to be fixed" Tomas pointed out sternly

"Ok ok calm down, I was gonna get to those things anyway, look give me two weeks and Ill have this baby purrin' like a newborn kitten"

"Two weeks?! How are we supposed to wait around for two weeks with dead people walking around?!" Eddy shouted fervently

"That aint my problem, besides I am a master craftsman…I don't rush my art for nuthin'" Pete stated with a surprising amount of dedication

"Sounds fine to me, we're tougher than we look old man, we'll come back in exactly two weeks…be ready or we leave without you" Tomas said as he started making his way out of the room with two of the Ed's in tow. "Come on Double D we can't keep the others waiting much longer"

"oh yes, coming!...thank you" Edd whispered to the aged Mechanist

"Anytime, now get goin'" Pete demanded as the sockheaded teen caught up with the rest. Despite noticing the tail end of their conversation Tomas decided that it wasn't important at the given moment. The Four made their way out of the complex in fifteen minutes time each carrying a comfortable load of weaponry in bags strapped to their backs (hopefully Pete didn't mind…gotta survive somehow right?), leaving their hands free to wield their own weapons, Eddy took a compact SMG along with a M9 as a backup weapon, Edd decided on a medium range rifle along with his short sword as backup, Ed carried the LMG that he had admired before along with a revolver as back up, Tomas decided upon the ever reliable AK47 along with the handgun he brought with him as backup. The group made their way down the ever inviting maze of streets littered with even more eaten corpses than before, but despite that they were in better spirits due to now having much more potent weapons.

"I know it is bad luck to ask but…why haven't we seen any of the creatures that committed these atrocities?" Edd asked as he kept his rifle at the ready for the first sign of trouble

"Probably just scared of how badass we are" Eddy beamed with a ridiculous grin plastered on his face

"Oh yeah four kids with weapons they don't know how to use walking down the middle of the street out in the open, SO badass" Tomas said with sarcasm

"Oh gee how inspiring" Eddy mumbled as he tried to remember how to reload his weapon…he hated it when the other guy had a point.

"Do you think they could be watching us?" Edd whispered as he eyed the windows and rooftops for signs of movement

"Possibly but with the way these poor bastards out here got torn apart I don't really coin them as the sneaky types" Tomas pointed out as he once again examined the purely visceral way that these people died

"Oh quit your worryin' we'll be fine, I'm sure whatever did all this is probably long go…" Eddy never got to finish his sentence as he turned the street corner he was greeted with a sight of pure nightmare. Seemingly hundreds of human like monsters lined the street enjoying the spoils of their recently killed victims all seemed to peer in unison at Eddy's direction

"Eddy…this is why we can't have nice things" Edd whispered disappointedly as he tried to keep his cool

"Quiet…don't move…maybe they can't see us" Tomas commanded as quietly as humanly possible, hoping that the dozens of times he's watched Jurassic Park might pay off, but since the monsters only seemed to respond in a low menacing growl that hope was quickly dashed away. "Well shit"

"YOUR HOME HAS BEEN FORECLOSED CREATURES OF THE BELLYBUTTON OF HADES!" Ed shouted as he threw a VERY large object

"ED!" Everyone shouted in unison

**Meanwhile back at the fortress of sol…I mean Tomas's shitty studio apartment**

The apartment seemed fairly quiet since Hannah went to the roof, Fuyuko going to her room for a much needed nap and Bill…well one could only hope he was somewhere, leaving only Andre sprawled on the couch reading manga while Benny laid on the recliner watching The Powerpuff Girls

"You think their alright out there?" Benny asked his brother without taking his eyes off the screen

"Oh yeah, I'm sure their just fine…heh oh Gintoki you and your shenanigans" Andre chuckled to himself as he turned the page

"Weirdo" Benny muttered as he continued to stare at the screen before a thunderous crash sounded off nearby

"The Hell was that?" Andre asked as he glanced up from his book

"Your Mom" Benny replied childishly

"She's your mom too you know"

"…Shut Up"

**Meanwhile back at the possibility of a plot**

"ED!" Everyone shouted in unison as they watched the large object make contact with the shambling horde, which made quick work in blocking off the street with debris

"Ed…WAS THAT A HOUSE?!" Edd shouted in disbelief

"They got foreclosed Double D, didn't pay the bills" Ed pointed out as if it was obvious

"WAS THERE ANYONE INSIDE?!"

"Just my hopes and dreams Double D" Ed blankly stated

"Therapy Ed…LOTS of therapy, but for right now let's get the fuck outta here before they find a way across, Follow me!" Tomas commanded as the three Eds followed suit with Ed carrying a petrified Eddy and Edd thanking everything that he could rationally thank that he decided to take up running a few months ago to stay in shape. As they navigated their way back home some more of the creatures that were alerted by the flying house started to descend upon them, fortunately a combination of the creatures slow movements and Tomas's expert path finding allowed them to make quick progress to their goal without being trapped. "Fire only on the ones that are in your way and don't stop moving no matter what!" Tomas shouted as he fired his assault rifle that he set on semi to conserve ammo, he was thankful that he spent time at the gun range since he was scoring headshot after headshot, he also noticed that bullets that hit anywhere else didn't seem to even phase them "Aim for the head if you can, they only seem to go down from one to the head" Tomas shouted as he noticed a struggling Edd trying to line up proper shots but his inexperience with the weapon combined with the close quarters made for a rather impossible task.

"Oh screw it" Edd muttered to himself as he shouldered his rifle and unsheathed his short sword with impeccable timing as a creature charged towards him, Edd throwing up a hail mary of sorts swung the sword towards his target and struck true as the blade sailed through the creatures neck, lobbing its head from its shoulders. Edd didn't have time to celebrate however as he quickly booked it to catch up with the others, after about 5 minutes of desperate and frantic fighting they forcefully barreled their way inside the familiar sanctuary of the garage and barred the door before the creatures slammed against the luckily sturdy door.

"Jeez…now that was a workout" Tomas muttered between breaths as his entire body seemed to resonate in pain from the intense scrap

"Let's…never do that again please" Edd wheezed out as he laid his back against the wall staring at his now blood drenched blade in hand

"Is it over?" Eddy asked as he checked his person for anymore ammo for his SMG

"I hope so…we should be fine for now though" Tomas answered as he had his hands on his knees and breathed heavily

"Ed needs food" Ed said as he laid on the ground covered in sweat and splatterings of blood

The four boys rested silently for a full ten minutes as they listened to the creatures attempt to bring down the metal door before they seemed to stop and move about their business

"Well then…we better go ahead and tell the others we're here" Tomas said as he and the Eds slowly made their way up the steps to the apartment.

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**Authors Note: **Holy crap I'm finally done with this chapter, well this one had a bit of action towards the end (and yes I also mentally yelled out DECAPITATION! When Edd beheaded the fuck out of that dude, if you don't know that reference then play Brutal Legend before I have to shake my head at your ignorance to awesomeness) And like I said I apologize for the lateness of this chapter but contrary to popular belief (father unit) I actually do have a life and a job so that tends to take up quite a bit of time…ok that and State of Decay came out and I've probably played it for a good 20-25 hours already (it's a great if not very rough game) video games are important dammit!

I also apologize for this chapter being slightly shorter than what I normally like to do (between 4,000 - 6,000 words) but this one clocked in at around 3,700 so...close enough bitches!

Anyways as always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic, till next time dear readers!


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note**: Welcome back dear readers, I have been keeping myself busy with playing the last of us (It's uncharted with zombies but still well worth a play through if you own a PS3) and watched World War Z. it's probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen in terms of a movie adaptation being faithful to its source material (Since it basically completely throws out practically everything that made the book as awesome as it was)

However I do understand why they did that, a faithful World War Z film adaptation would probably be a History Channel 6 hour series split up into 6 parts or something along those lines and you just couldn't release that in a theater, the demographic for world war z fans is smaller than that of the demographic for Hollywood action films so you can guess which route they went. And on top of that…it really wasn't a bad movie at all, fairly decent as a matter of fact and that's coming from someone who has read the book multiple times. Jeez I seem to be on a zombie kick lately but since I'm writing this story that might not be a bad thing

Anyway with that out of the way let us continue on with the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me, I own OC's and this crappy laptop…Commence with shedding the blood of the Saxon men!

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**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 9**

"Honey I'm home!" Tomas shouted as he entered the apartment with the Eds in tow. The room itself was fairly quiet save for the TV in which Andre and Benny were front of, as if they haven't moved in hours.

"Hey"

"Yo" They each grunted out respectively without visually acknowledging their older brother

"Glad to see you guys care so much" Tomas replied sarcastically as he filled a cup with ice water and drank it all in one gulp, who knew fighting for your life can leave a guy so thirsty

"Well of course we…the fuck happened to you guys?" Benny asked as he turned and scanned the four before who were all coated in varying levels of dirt, grime and blood splatter

"Had quite the run in with those…things, didn't you hear the gunfire?"

"Dude there's been guns and explosions going off all morning, can't exactly say I've been too keen on poking my head outside"

"Well what about those things trying to tear down the front door for the past ten minutes?"

"Wind"

"Eddys girly screams of terror?"

"The neighbors boning" Benny replied right before Eddy could come up with a response

"…Ed threw a house by the way"

"I know"

"How could you possibly have known?"

"Dude the sound of flying houses is very distinctive" Benny pointed out matter of factly while Andre nodded his head in agreement

"…you made a your mom joke when you heard that didn't you?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny your query meat bag" Benny replied in a strange robotic voice

"I threw a house once" Hannah suddenly replied from behind everyone, scaring the living crap out of them

"GAHH where did you come from?!" Eddy shouted

"Blame my parents Eddy" Ed answered much to the utter confusion of the present party

"…I was referring to a game of monopoly I played once" Hannah said to the tall Ed

"Don't worry he knows, right Ed?" Edd replied while resting his palm on Ed's shoulder

"Like mashed potatoes Double D"

"He says he does" Edd replied in a rather cheerful manner

"What in the holy mother of assrape is with all the noise?" A half awake Fuyuko shouted as she descended the stairs

"The colorful language isn't needed you know" Edd chided half heartedly at the cranky girl

"And you didn't clean Fiona" She scolded as she swiped the sword that was still in Edd's hand "What the hell did you do anyway?" She asked as she noted the significant amount of blood on the blade and the splatterings on Edd's clothes

"If you must know I was forced to dispatch one of those foul creatures by separating its cranium from its body" Edd answered still feeling very conflicted about having to kill despite it being in self defense

"You decapitated one? AWESOME, HIGH FIVE!" Fuyuko cheered as she held her hand up for said high five

"I wouldn't say that this is worth a…"

"Do it bitch" Fuyuko commanded sternly, in which Edd complied while rolling his eyes and sighing profusely

"Well since we're all here…you may as well listen to whats next" Tomas said with fervorance, causing all eyes to fall on him. "At this point we can all agree that we need to leave the city right?" Every seemingly nodded their heads, each having their own reasons for leaving. "Good, I think I may have a plan to do just that, however we won't be able to execute it until two weeks from now"

"Two weeks? What are we supposed to do for two weeks with everything that's been going on?" Benny asked with concern

"Well we're going to have to prepare for our departure, it's hard to know what exactly is going on or how wide scale this thing really is…as such we should prepare for the worst and hope for the best, we need to gather as much food, water and other such supplies that we would need for survival."

"That seems to be a reasonable precaution to take" Edd added in along with some collective nods from the group

"Ok then I've been thinking about how we should go about doing it…I can say for a fact that we're not stepping foot outside today, its way too dangerous and way too much is going on for it to be safe to even consider going supply hunting"

"Supply 'hunting'" Eddy asked with a raised brow

"Hey at this point we need to do everything we can to survive…if we need to borrow some bare essentials to stay alive then that's what we have to do"

"Hey I wasn't disagreeing or anything…sockhead might though" Eddy said as everyone's eyes seemed to fall on said individual

"Well…as long as it's the bare essentials for survival I SUPPOSE it's somewhat justifi…"

"Great then Edd your job for today is to go and figure out what our supplies look like and figure out what we need to get, remember we can only carry so much so be as precise as possible…it's really important"

"I shall accomplish this without error!" Edd replied with confidence as he went to do his job

"Um I've been watching the city from the roof…if I can get a map of the city maybe I can find good spots to going start looking tomorrow?" Hannah asked unsure if her idea was good or not

"That's a great idea! Although I don't think we don't have map here" Tomas noted as he tried to recall if he did have one or not

"I-Its ok I'll figure something out!" Hannah said with determination as she rushed for the stairs

"Here" Tomas shouted as he tossed her a .22 rifle and ammo "just in case" Hannah nodded as she quickly caught the items and bolted up the stairs

"OH OH I know what I can do! The zombies were trying to bite us so I'll make us some armor with the scrap metal down stairs so that way we'll be better protected!" Ed excited suggested

"That…actually sounds like a good idea Ed I'm impressed" Tomas replied pleasantly surprised that Ed had a solution to a rather big problem. Ed immediately barreled down the stairs with a look of pure glee

"…Ill make sure he doesn't blow something up or throw our house at the ocean or something" Eddy muttered unenthusiastically as he followed his dim in the head friend

"Please do" Tomas quickly pleaded "Alright the rest of you lets go make sure that this place is safe, we're going to be here for two weeks…may as well make sure we won't get any unwanted guests"

"Can I at least finish watchin…"

"No" Tomas cut off Benny before he could finish

"Killjoy" Benny muttered

"…you think we'll make it through this?" Fuyuko asked her oldest brother with uncertainty as she stared out the window at a horde of monsters descending upon two police officers who looked to be at the verge of death as one climbed into the driver's side and started the patrol car while the other attempted to clamor into the passenger side only to be dragged down and mauled while the driver made a desperate escape attempt in the car, only to careen into a traffic pole and be dragged out in the same manner as his friend

"If things go as planned…we should be able to get out of this just fine" Tomas reassured her as he watched the events unfold before him, but as quickly as their hopes were raised the power for the building went out, leaving the room in darkness

"Welp…there goes my reading light" Andre muttered as he closed his reading material to get to work with the others, only bloodcurdling screams and the repent sounds of battle played for them as they got to work on escaping the nightmare that they have found themselves in.

The next day was not any better as the same symphony of terror was working towards an endless crescendo as the group continued their hard work. Benny had found a functional radio in the storage room that he managed to get working to perhaps be able to learn news of some kind of cure or that Orson Welles just climbed out of his grave and played an elaborate joke; however he found neither of these things…

"Hell is overflowing…and SATAN is sending his legions of the dead to us, why? Because…you have sex out of wedlock…you KILL unborn children…you have MAN on MAN relations, SAME sex marriage…how do you think god will judge you? Well my friends…now we know. When there is no more room in hell…the dead will walk the earth…"

"Can you believe this shit? One apocalypse and everyone starts losing their goddamn minds" Benny muttered as he fiddled with the knob on the radio to silence the fire and brimstone and find something else helpful

"Yeah well some of those people had already lost it to begin with if you ask me…but I guess you can't really blame them since the collective world seems to be coming to an end. That and I couldn't sleep last night" Andre said as he cleaned the barrel of one of the many weapons that were in the sacks that the Eds and Tomas brought back the day before.

"You too? Man all that moaning and growling was creeping me the fuck out" Benny complained as he held his hand over his yawning mouth before finding another station

"…we are in the SaveMart on Lombardy, please send he…oh god keep them back! Lemmy NO...no…oh god no stay back, STAY BACK!" The radio only played gut wrenching screams and pleas of mercy after that

"Goddamn…" Benny muttered as he changed the channel, not wanting to continue listening

"Guys help us out with this window; it could use a stronger barricade!" The two heard Tomas yell from the first floor

"Let's go…I'm done listening to this thing for today" Benny said solemnly as he headed for the door with Andre in tow.

A few days went by as the group continued to prepare for the journey, supply runs have gone without a ditch despite the close call of the first run…

Tomas and Eddy were making their way down the street towards a nearby convenience store that Hannah had pointed out might be a good place to start searching. They made their way inside to find a heavily ransacked store in complete disarray

"Ok Eddy in and out, grab what you can, we leave in 5 minutes" Tomas commanded as they quickly fanned throughout the store and grabbed everything useful they could find, which wasn't too much. Eddy slowly made his way around a broken down door to the back to reveal a gruesome scene where the disemboweled body of a young man who seemed to be wearing a work uniform was propped against the wall clutching a can of cranberry sauce where the bodies of two others laid each with their heads caved in, the scene looked like it happened fairly recently.

"Jeez…poor basterds" Eddy whispered as he took in the scene and pieced together what happened. He tried to make his way past the propped up body when all of the sudden its hand quickly grabbed onto Eddy's ankle

"H-Help me…" The young man pleaded as he held onto Eddy's ankle for dear life who was now scared out of his mind

"Let go man, let go!" Eddy tugged at his leg but the desperate mans grip was too strong

"D-Don't make do this man!" Eddy pleaded as he pulled out his handgun and aimed it at the crazed man

"HELP ME!" the man yelled with even more hysteria as Eddy hesitated on pulling the trigger and instead opted to whipping the man in the head with his pistol, releasing his grip on Eddy's leg and sending him sprawling across the floor with some of his intestines falling out of the gaping hole in the man's stomach area

"I'm going to be sick…" Eddy muttered as he stared at the motionless body before moving towards it cautiously. He wasn't prepared however as the body shifted and lunged at him with lightening fast speed and a loud roar, Eddy would've been done for had it not been for a gunshot going off behind him sending the monster sprawling across the floor for the last time and decorating the floor with the contents of his head.

"Don't hesitate, otherwise you won't have a second chance…remember that" Tomas reminded the wavering boy as he holstered his sidearm

"I-I could've taken him" Eddy meekly responded as he tried to compose himself

"Of course you could've…but it looks like you found some good stuff…nice work" Tomas noted as he scanned the room to find a reasonable sized pile of canned goods

"Yup that was me" Eddy reassured him as he took credit for the find…after all he was in the room first

"Right well pack it up, that shot was probably heard by every one of em for miles" Tomas said as they quickly grabbed as much as they could and ran for the safety of home with the groans of the monsters converging on the now completely ransacked store.

During the course of the week the city continued to crumble at the seams around the group as they continued preparations for their journey. Aside from that the group spent what spare time they had honing their combat skills…

"You ready?" Asked the short figure covered in sweat in a battle stance wielding a wooden staff

"As ready as I'll ever be sensei" replied the much taller figure covered in sweat wielding a wooden staff as well. Both figures carefully studied each other determining the best course of action in complete silence to wear only the soft rustling of the wind could be heard. Time seemed to slow down for the two as they quickly rushed each other, the shorter figure made a quick jab at the taller figures abdomen with the end of its staff, however the attack did seemingly nothing as the taller figure countered with a powerful wide horizontal swing that the shorter figure barely had time to dodge, As the shorter figure prepared for the next attack strategy a familiar voice distracted her from her thoughts.

"FUYUKO WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU AND ED DOING?!" Yelled out a very concerned Edd that had just moments ago arrived on the roof where the spectacle before him was taking place

"Wha…" Fuyuko was quickly silenced as Ed delivered a powerful blow to her head with a vertical swing, knocking her to the ground motionless

"GAHH! ED WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Edd yelled in panic as he eyed her motionless body on the ground

"I-I DON'T KNOW DOUBLE D I DIDN'T MEAN IT I SWEAR DON'T TELL MOM!" Ed yelled in just as much panic as he stared at the injured girl before him

"I-Is is she ok?" Edd asked with concern after a moment of silence as Ed slowly inched his way over to her

"I don't know Double D I think she might be…" However before he could finish the thought to be unconscious girl quickly jumped to her feet and delivered a devastating blow to the side of Eds head with the staff, followed by a powerful kick to his chest that sent him sprawling across the ground, before Ed could get on his feet the frenzied female brought the staff down about 2 inches from his chin, pinning him to the ground.

"I win" Fuyuko said with a smirk to the astonished boy below her "Remember ALWAYS be on your guard even when you don't see danger…you never know whats gonna come poppin' out at ya" She lectured to the tall Ed as she offered a hand to help him up

"You're telling me" Ed replied as he rubbed the side of his head which while didn't hurt too much was still rather uncomfortable "Are you ok?"

"Me? Pfft please I've been through worse…but still not bad" She responded as she rubbed the top of her head where Ed had hit her before. "Just work on what I've been telling you for the past hour and you should be just fine" She reminded him as she collected the staff she let him borrow for practice

"Okie Dokey! I'm gonna…lay down for…a lot" Ed mumbled as he clumsily made his way down to no doubt crash as he looked worked to his limit

"You've been doing this for the past HOUR?!" Edd asked in surprise as he noticed how tired Ed looked…and it took a lot to tire Ed out

"Well yeah but we didn't actually hit each other all that much…well until you distracted me" She replied with a stern look

"Well I…I didn't expect you two to be beating on each other like barbarians!" Edd defended as he started to feel somewhat guilty for interrupting

"I guess you have a point…anyway here your turn" She replied as she tossed the staff that Ed gave back moments ago to Edd who caught it with below average grace

"Oh NO NO all of my NO!" Edd yelled at the possibly deranged girl before him

"Oh? And why not…afraid I'll kick your ass?" She asked tauntingly

"I prefer living thank you very much" Edd protested

"Oh come on I'll go easy on you since I'm kinda tired already"

"I still don't think that this is a good idea"

Fuyuko sighed profusely as she seemed to reveal a look of concern in her bright blue eyes "Look…that day that you guys came back and you looked the way you did…I was scared, scared that you were hurt…and part of that was because I gave you a weapon that you really didn't know how to use, which was stupid of me. We need to know how to defend ourselves if we want to have any chance at making it through this…that includes you"

"Fuyuko…well when you put it that way…"

"Besides who said I was asking you like you had a choice?" She quickly added as she readied herself in a battle stance "Think fast!" She yelled as she charged the now scared witless boy

"Have mercy" a wide eyed Edd squeaked out as his trainer came rushing at him

Edd had taken it upon himself to gather a resource that he felt was just as important as food or weapons…knowledge, knowledge about the enemy, their strengths, their weaknesses, how they behave, how they interact with the environment and each other and why it is that they attack as they do (well he did this inbetween getting the living manshit beaten out of him from a trainer that sometimes made him contemplate weither giving one of the monsters walking the streets a hug would yield less painful results) Some of the findings were rather interesting…

"What are we doing here again?" Eddy asked his sockheaded friend who was peering around the corner behind a dumpster at a group of monsters that numbered just over a dozen

"For the last time my memory challenged protégé, in order to defeat our enemy, we must know our enemy and we go about accomplishing this by…?"

"Giving them light conversation and an assload of tequila with possibly a ruffy?" Eddy replied in a joking manner

"…I'm not going to dignify that with a response" Edd replied in a deadpan tone

"Isn't that in itself a response?"

"Just watch my back while I do the important science that is clearly beyond your understanding" Edd muttered while pinching the bridge of his nose

"You callin' me stupid?"

"Why I would never, I'm just implying that you lack the proper mental facilities to comprehend the importance of what I am trying to accomplish" Edd replied as he picked up a small rock beside him and judged the weight in his hand

"I hate you sometimes"

"Of course, at least try to learn something while you're here" Edd chided as he threw the rock at one of the zombie's head, causing it to scan the area for a few seconds before returning to its previous action of stand around

"Why'd you do that?" Eddy asked in confusion

"Well if you noticed, it seemed to react to my projectile but it didn't actually seem to actively seek out the source of it, implying that perhaps they are incapable of complex reasoning…unproven but a possibility" Edd whispered as he wrote down his theory in a small notebook

"Way to aim below the belt there brainiac" Eddy joked as he scanned the surrounding area for any possible threats

"I wonder…" Edd mumbled as he pulled out his short bow from the holster that holds it in place just under his backpack and notched an arrow from the quiver attached to the side of his pack

"Where'd that thing come from?" Eddy asked as he noticed the weapon his friend was readying

"Really Eddy, you haven't noticed until now?" Edd asked surprised as Eddy replied with a shrug in with Edd sighed "Well if you remember I acquired this handy projectile weapon from a supply run I went on with Tomas a few days ago, I found it in an apartment and I figured since silence and discretion is a must that it was only logical to bring it with me." Edd answered as he drew back the string and released with grace as the arrow plunged into the zombie's skull, dropping it immediately.

"Interesting…the others seemed to notice their brethrens demise but it looks as if it was the noise that piqued their interest…perhaps they rely more on sound to hunt than eyesight, which would make sense since quite a few I've seen had one or both eyes missing and yet can still function with no hindrance, perplexing…" Edd mumbled as he wrote down his findings

"You seem pretty good with that thing" Eddy pointed out as he noticed how comfortable Edd was handling the weapon

"Well my parents did have me take archery classes two summers back to 'get out more'" Edd responded "…you do remember that right Eddy?"

"Nope doesn't ring a bell" Eddy replied matter of factly

"You don't remember that I was always gone in the early afternoons that summer?"

"Yeah but I thought you went to go do…nerd stuff or something"

"Yes well this 'nerd stuff' as you call it…" Edd paused as he quickly notched another arrow and fired just above Eddy's head at a lone zombie that almost attacked him from behind, plunging the arrow into its head with expert precision "…is going to help us quite dearly" Edd smirked as Eddy pushed the corpse that had fallen on him to the side

"Yeah yeah just don't let that hat cut off too much circulation to your brain" Eddy grumbled as he wiped off some blood from his shoulder "Jeez you don't hesitate do ya?"

"Well Eddy as much as I detest violence in all forms, these extreme times call for extreme measures…don't get me wrong it bothers me greatly whenever I have to take a life even if I'm not entirely sure weither these creatures even qualify as living beings but do remember, these creatures were once human just like me and you" Edd answered with uncertainty in his voice

"Yeah…what do you think is happening to everyone?" Eddy asked with genuine concern

"I haven't a clue my friend…that's why we must learn all we can about the monsters that are conceivably plaguing the entire planet so that perhaps...we can have a stepping stone to finding a solution to the problem" Edd replied to his friend who nodded in better understanding of his friends determination

"Well just hurry up alright; I don't plan on being zombie chow behind some shitty dumpster"

"I wouldn't dream of it" Edd replied as he unknowingly bumped into the dumpster, causing a glass bottle at the top to fall on the ground and shatter

"As you were saying?" Eddy asked as he heard the roars of the previously unaware horde of flesh eaters shuffle to the source of the noise which unfortunately was at Edd's feet

"I hope you have been following the exercise plan-o-gram that I gave you four months ago!" Edd shouted as he ran for the hills

"PLAN-O WHAT NOW?!" Eddy shouted back as he tried to keep up with Edd, fortunately for him years of running from mobs of angry kids gives you an edge speed wise

"I hope you know that I am truly sorry for this!" Edd said to his friend lagging a few steps behind

"OH YOU WILL BE!" Eddy shouted back as he focused on following his friend to the safety of home

The city seemed to crumble before their eyes, the endless waves of radio reports from police, civilian and military alike all had the same pattern of fierce combat followed by static. By the end of the week the endless waves reduced to off and on as it was very clear that every form of resistance fell before the bloodthirsty monsters eventually. Although this caused a bit of a morale issue, Tomas's words along with Ed's positivity balanced this out, however it was hard to ignore the cold hard fact that the monsters were winning…

Tomas made his way to the roof for some much needed silence as he had been dealing with nothing but problem after problem ("I know we don't have enough medicine", "no really he's truly sorry that he tried to cop a feel really!", "We never had any booze ya drunken bum!")

"Thinking about it makes my head hurt" He muttered as he opened the door to find Hannah once again on the roof surveying the city through the scope of her rifle and making notes in a notepad that was placed on a box next to her that was acting as a table. "So do you live up here now or what?" He asked making light of the fact that she seemed to spend all of her spare time in the same spot

"Maybe, I hear that roofs in monster infested cities are in demand" Hannah replied sarcastically as she took a shot with her rifle that had a makeshift silencer on it that while didn't completely silence the crack definitely dampened it significantly

"I only say that because it seems like you're always up here" He pointed out "So…Have you gotten any good with that thing?" He asked trying to make small talk

"Currently my average is 1 headshot for every 2.63 shots, a vast improvement from my original 7.86 shots from my first day; then again the wind is rather strong today…" Hannah responded as she went on about bullet drop and other various subjects that Tomas had a hard time keeping up with

"So…is that a yes?"

"Obviously" She replied as she took another shot before reloading and making more notes

"Hmm…here let me try" He asked as she handed the rifle off

"Go ahead, I need to take a break anyway" She said as she laid back in the recliner that she brought up so she could be semi comfortable and used a pair of binoculars to see his shooting

"Ok…let me see here" Tomas mumbled to himself as he looked down the scope "give me a target mein fuhrer!"

"Pfft whatever you say Hippie Hitler" Hannah joked "Douchebag in the green sweater by the corner store, see him?"

"Yeah I see him…and don't knock the awesomeness that is my hair" Tomas chided as he took aim and fired…and missed by a long shot

"You missed" Hannah announced

"Thanks I didn't notice" Tomas sarcastically replied as he attempted a second time…proceeding to only hit the window of the corner store

"You should probably adjust for wind"

"I'll try my very best" Tomas said sarcastically once again as he took aim and fired a third time…and hit a car down the street, causing the alarm to go off

"You could try aiming" Hannah mumbled just loud enough for him to hear

"Oh yeah? Well then why don't you do it if you're such an expert" Tomas challenged as he handed her the rifle and she handed him the binoculars

"Fine I will" she replied as she took aim at the same zombie and proceeded to effortlessly hit it on the mark as it fell over unmoving

"…that thing hates me I swear" Tomas complained as he pointed an accusing finger at the rifle

"Not my fault I'm better than you" Hannah rubbed in as she jokingly stuck her tongue out

"Oh whatever" Tomas childishly responded by mimicking her action "but yeah aside from humiliating me in douchebag shooting what else have you been doing?" He asked curiously as he positioned himself on the edge of the building and sat down with his legs dangling over the edge

"Well honestly…just observing, Edd told me about how he was trying to learn about the zombies or whatever they are, so really I've just been watching them" Hannah replied as she gazed out at the familiar city skyline and the mist that still blanketed the sky that now seemed to be a bright hue of red than two weeks ago.

"Like a professional stalker?"

"Oh yes with a notebook full of obsession and dozens of different ways to get rid of that one boy band that EVERYONE seems to talk about despite the fact that every time their inane meandering reaches my ear canal I just want TO STRANGLE EVERYTHING IN EXISTANCE AND CRUSH THEIR SOULS!" Hannah replied in a fit of 'temporary' madness

"…you wanna talk about it?"

"No"

"Should I be concerned about what you're writing?"

"NO"

"Right…so anyway learn anything interesting?" He asked as he gazed at the sunset in a moment of precious calm

"Nothing much that we didn't already know" Hannah replied as she laid back in the recliner "They're mean, like human flesh and have terrible hygiene"

"You'd think that a walking corpse would have the decency to take a shower before disemboweling me" Tomas joked as he tossed a pebble over the ledge, creating a small thump as it made contact with the ground

"But I did notice one thing; they tend to group up in hordes when they come in contact with each other"

"Yeah trust me we've noticed" Tomas muttered as he recalled the many close calls that they've had due to their tendency to attack in groups

"I'm sure but what I mean is…from what I've noticed its kinda like the snowball effect, one finds another and becomes two, then two becomes four, four becomes eight, so on so forth"

"Ok so they group up, whats the part that we don't know?"

"Well…they don't exactly stop nor have a limit, I mean imagine if all the groups formed into one giant horde of thousands or possibly millions?"

"Shit…didn't think about that" He mumbled as he contemplated this new possibility "Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, for now…I think we both need a break" He sighed as he laid back and took in the red mist that accented the war torn streets, creating a truly dreadful image

"Yeah…all this shooting better than you is making me tired" She taunted in a childish manner

"…Shut up"

As the day before departure slowly inched closer and closer the city seemed to settle and become somewhat serene as the sounds of gunfire became rarer and rarer. This newfound silence did not provide any comfort however as this only purported the fact that the enemy has claimed the streets and that most resistance has crumbled and withered away along with the city's heart and soul…for the most part

"Here's to good health!" A cheerful Edd shouted as he held up his glass of lemon water for everyone else at the table to clink their glasses of various liquids against

"Really dude just water?" Eddy chided as he held his glass of alcohol and took a swig (It's the apocalypse, give the guy a break)

"Well after certain…EVENTS, I'd rather not" Edd grumbled as he took a drink of his nice refreshing non blackout inducing beverage.

"Aww but Double D you'd make such a great Pete Burns, all you'd need is to look like a pirate in an 80s hair metal band and put you in a kimono" Tomas chuckled as he took a bite of one of the burgers that Eddy was kind enough to prepare for everyone as a sort of a 'hey we're not dead yet' party

"I somehow find the idea to be preposterous" Edd grumbled as he caught Fuyuko analyzing him "Umm…can I help you?"

"Nah just wondering what size kimono to get you since you have the perfect figure for it, I'm rather jealous" She replied at Edd's expense

"HA that's a good one!" Eddy blurted out inbetween laughs

"Well at least I don't scream like a prepubescent girl" Edd countered back, recalling when they first encountered zombies on the way back from Pete's

"Not cool" Eddy mumbled as he took another sip of his drink in an attempt to drown out the laughter

"Aww come on Eddy, at least you cook up a damn good burger" Tomas complimented as he took another bite

"Bloobitybloobitybloobitybloobity…"

"ED STOP!" Everyone shouted at the source of the obnoxious noise

"Dear god man who in the hell references good burger?!" Benny asked

"The sad sack who wrote the script" Ed replied

"Ed…I know you want to be a movie director but this is real life" Edd pointed out

"Or maybe…this was all his debut movie all along" Benny joked

"Pfft yeah we'll call it night of the living douche nozzles" Eddy said sarcastically as he took a bite of his burger

"Nope wasn't me guys, mine had chickens and a cameo appearance by Oderus Urungus in the scene with the mutant corn on the cob" Ed corrected

"GWAR's lead singer AND corn on the cob? I'm totally sold" Tomas laughed as he took a sip of his soda

The small scale party continued on as the group for the first time in two weeks weren't on edge and actually were able to take a load off and relax, a perk that probably would not come around again for quite some time

"Well as much as I'd love to continue the fun, we have a lot to do tomorrow so I'd suggest getting some rest…we're going to need it" Tomas said as the last of the dishes were cleaned

"Look out below!" Someone suddenly shouted from the ventilation shaft as the source of the voice came crashing through

"Drunk hobo what in the hell are you doing?" Fuyuko asked the possibly insane man before her

"I aint drunk…yet! Sides cant a man make an entrance?"

"Not if said man is breaking all my shit" Tomas muttered as he eyed the vent grate on the ground "But since you're here, you're on guard duty"

"Yeah yeah just let me turn on my favorite show" He replied as he sat down on the couch and used the remote to turn on the TV…in an apartment that has no power

"You do know that…"

"Shush my shows on!" the strange hobo replied as he intently watched the blank screen

"…OK then" Tomas mumbled to himself as he ascended the stairs to get some much needed rest, for tomorrow…he and everyone else was going to need it.

* * *

**Authors Note**: Holy freakin' ass I'm finally done with this chapter, as you probably saw this one is exceptional long, this was due to the last chapter being as short as it was and also due to the different style that I used for this chapter (describing the two week time skip in a few scenes for the sake of character development, story context and overall shenanigans) so this chapter had a lot of dialogue and not so much action (which there will be more of in the coming chapters among other things). Then again I managed to reference GWAR, Pete Burns and Good Burger of all things (In the same scene too) so I feel accomplished…yeah I don't know why either but whatever I'm brain dead at this point

I've also been listening to Dark Moor's new album Ars Musica, great album and I'd definitely recommend checking it out if you're a fan of symphonic power metal

Anyways as always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic, till next time dear readers!


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **Happy Murica Day dear readers! Since it is the 4th of Jew lies, the most Murican of Murican festivities, I bring to you chapter 10, yes chapter 10 of this beautiful deep fried, bacon grease coated confection know to man as a 'story' (or a heart rape, either way) to you, the reader (Yes even the non-Muricans may join in, because we love you…possibly in a sexual way but I'll never tell)

Enjoy!

Underline is dialogue spoken through a radio or speaker; I figured I better point that out to avoid confusion

Disclaimer: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me; I own OC's and this crappy laptop…insert witty and/or overused pop culture reference here?

* * *

The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World

Chapter 10

The autumn air was brisk as our intrepid survivors prepared for the journey ahead by loading the van with all their hard earned gains of food, water and other necessities along with other various 'needs'

"No"

"Aww come on man why not?" Andre asked his older brother as he clutched a bag of assorted mangas with if they were his first born child

"Because they're not necessary"

"Oh believe me…they are VERY necessary"

"…fine but I hold the right to use them as kindling if need be" Tomas muttered as he knew that this argument would not get anywhere "Hurry up on loading that van, I'll be back in a bit, radio me when you're done" He ordered as he stepped outside to check on a loose end, he took a moment to gaze into a smudged car window to check his person. He was currently wearing a white undershirt underneath his favorite light jacket that he picked up at an Opeth concert last year with a thick brown oilcloth duster that combined with Ed's final armor design of a thick magazine wrapped around the forearms with a layer of memory foam inbetween the skin and cover for comfort (and to reduce pressure from possible bites) along with coating the magazine with a layer of sheet metal created a surprisingly effective device for bite protection. He also wore a pair of black cargo pants that were snug around his frame without being constricting and a pair of durable black boots, he also tucked his ponytail into his duster to prevent it from being grabbed (A precaution he's taken ever since witnessing a woman meet her demise due to her hairs length)

"Me and the hair die together dammit" He muttered to himself as he readjusted the assault rifle on his back and continued on his way to a familiar diner that looked worse for wear, especially since every window except one were broken as was evident by the broken shards of glass that littered the storefront. As he approached a loud crack filled the air followed by a body propelling itself through the last unbroken window before impacting the ground with a thud.

"Damn crazy bastards tryin' ta snack on me" A rather familiar man growled as he peered out of one of the broken windows shotgun in hand "Oh hey there boy, how have ya been?" Pops asked as he loaded a shell into his weapon

"I've been better that's for sure but I'm holding on…how about you?"

"Well I need a goddamn vacation for one" The elder man muttered as he scanned the street for any other 'crazy bastards'

"And you need to stop calling me into work when everyone you try to have me sell coffee to tries to eat me" A rather tired looking Tina chided as she approached the two men

"I'm surprised you even show up" Tomas laughed as he noted her less than favorable appearance

"Well I wouldn't but without me this idiot wouldn't even know how to operate a doorknob"

"Hey little lady Ill have you know that back in the day, I was operating more than just doorknobs…if ya know what I mean"

"…you do remember that I'm the one that sorts your medication right?"

"Fine fine ill be in the back if ya need me" Pops muttered as he nonchalantly made his way into the kitchen

"Even when the world is burning down around him that crazy motherfuckers still making coffee" Tomas said to himself in disbelief

"You're telling me?" Tina scoffed as she surveyed the less than pristine diner floor "We'll be lucky if those things don't get us by the end of the week"

"Well that's why I came on over, here" Tomas said as he tossed a key to the waitress "It's to the apartment, try to get him in there safe and sound before he tries to fistfight those things" He joked

"I'll try…you going somewhere?" She inquired

"Peach Creek, promised some friends we'd get there before the days out"

"You do know about the blockades right? You have a plan to get around those?"

"Don't worry…I've got a plan"

"But is it a GOOD plan?"

"…I would like to plead the 5th"

"Just don't do anything stupid will ya" She sighed out

"Aww don't worry you know me"

"Yeah that's what worries me" She replied before Tomas's radio cut in

"Hey we're ready whenever you are…so hurry it up I ain't got all day"

"Just make sure you can reach the van step smartass" He replied to Eddy on the radio before turning his attention back to the waitress "Welp looks like I'm gone, there's a radio in the apartment you can use to contact me whenever you need to…oh and if you see a hobo he's supposed to be there, although he's in the vents a lot…for some reason"

"I'll...keep that in mind?" Tina replied uncertain of what exactly that meant, but before she could ponder any further more gunshots sounded off from the kitchen

"Goddamn vermin THAT AINT YOUR FOOD!" Pops shouted before the shooting continued

"Well I better make sure he doesn't hurt himself" Tina muttered as she made her way to the kitchen "DO I HAVE TO TAKE THAT THING AWAY FROM YOU AGAIN?"

"BACK OFF WOMAN ITS MINE!"

"Oh really now?" she growled menacingly as she popped her knuckles

"And that would be my cue to leave" Tomas chuckled to himself as he made his way back to his friends. As he rounded the corner into the garage he took a moment to look over the others, Benny looked relatively the same as he did two weeks ago except his goatee was bushier and he was wearing a thick leather jacket along with a armguard on each of his forearms that everyone else wore in the same fashion and an assault rifle slung on his back.

Andre also looked the same as he did before with the exception of his beard that looked slightly bushier and the combat shotgun slung his back.

Fuyuko looked fairly different since she opted to cutting her hair to where it reached just above her shoulders, it wasn't expertly styled due to it being done herself but after a good hour of work she felt that it looked decent enough without being inconvenient . She had her claymore in its sheath along her back as well as a pair of thick black leather gloves that had some menacing looking studs along the knuckles, a self made design that was sure to deal maximum damage to its intended target.

Hannah still had her messy blond hair that was slightly longer and messier (the fact that they ran out of conditioner two days ago didn't help either). She also had her scoped rifle slung on her back as well as a scoped revolver that she decided to add to her arsenal at her side.

Eddy surprisingly grew an inch over the past two weeks putting him at 5-5 (Eddy growing vertically? What is this madness?!) His hair had also spiked back up in the way that it used to due them running out of hair gel well over a week ago. He had dual smgs holstered at his side along with dual pistols that were holstered and hidden underneath a fashionable purple overcoat (although the group still debates weither it's in a child size or not much to Eddy's annoyance…also they believe that he possibly robbed a pimp, either way)

Edd was wearing a red shirt with black jeans along with his traditional sock hat; his hair had also grown to the point where it was touching his shoulders in its usual neat fashion. He had his setup of a short bow in a holster underneath his pack along with a quiver attached to the side; he also adorned his short sword in its sheath at his left side for quick access.

Ed looked just about the same as he ever did with the exception of some stubble along his chin and the nasty looking LMG draped across his back with 'Evil Tim' painted along the side.

"About time you showed up, what did ya get lost or something?"

"Nah nothing like that…I just got lost in thought about which child size pimp you took that coat from" Tomas countered at Eddy's question, earning a dirty look "Ok pack it up we have one more stop before we head out to Peach Creek" He commanded as he mounted his motorcycle while everyone else crammed into the van

"Eddy if you try to grab my ass one more time…"

"Fuyuko, babe I keep tellin' ya that wasn't me that time"

"That time?"

"Uh…well about that"

"Just don't do it again shorty" She warned as she motioned at the weapon on her back

"I got it I got it" Eddy assured as he climbed in next to Edd who was giving him a disapproving look

"Deplorable" Edd mumbled to himself under his breath

"What'd I do?" Eddy asked right before disappearing under Ed who unknowingly sat right on top of him

"Eddy…where'd you go?" Ed asked as he looked around

"I haven't a clue Ed" Edd answered as he giggled to himself

"Hey Tomas…I can't fit in the van" Hannah said as she pointed to the over capacity vehicle

"Hey that's my foot!"

"Ed get your gun outta my face!"

"My pants feel funny Double D"

"…yeah I can see that, hop on then" Tomas offered to the uncertain female "relax I don't bite…much" He joked

"D-Do you have rabies?" Hannah asked in a panic

"Maybe…maybe not" He smirked to her unamusement

"…fine but if I get it from you I'm pushing you off" She muttered as she climbed on the passenger seat

"Alright let's go, follow me" Tomas shouted at the others as he opened the garage door and made his way to their destination with the van in tow. About ten minutes later they pulled up to Pete's place and parked the vehicles, much to a certain someone's relief

"HUUUGAHHHHH! JESUS ED WHAT THE HELL?!" Eddy shouted inbetween coughs as he finally found his way back to the light and fresh air

"Huh…oh hiya Eddy where have you been?" Ed asked his seething friend

"Why I oughta..."

"Howdy there folks!" A familiar Texan accent greeted as he jumped from the roof in a stylish manner before landing on his feet unharmed

"Holy crap man that was like 3 stories how are your legs not broken!?" Benny shouted in disbelief

"Heh well you see I replaced my leg bones with the strongest material known to man after they got taken back in Vietnam…I think"

"And that would be…?"

"Nokia phones melted down to its purest form" Pete replied before his left leg vibrated "Dammit don't they know I aint got unlimited textin'?" He shouted as he smacked the offending leg

"So this is whose gonna help us?" Benny asked with genuine concern

"Yup" Tomas answered

"Well this is off to a good start" Benny muttered as he went back to the van to guard it along with Andre

"So is it ready?" Tomas asked the strange man still smacking his leg

"Hmm…Oh yeah come on and Ill show ya!" Pete replied as he escorted the remaining members into the garage that still looked as abandoned as it did two weeks ago with the exception of two vehicles parked inside that contrasted heavily due to the fresh and sleek look they possessed. The Behemoth of a vehicle looked about the same as it did before on the outside with the exception of it being repainted in a midnight black.

"Wow this is…better than what I was expecting" Tomas commented as he took in the imposing vehicle's scale

"Yup she's big, bloated and firepower loud enough to render everyone nearby deaf…I call it The Bachmann" Pete brimmed with pride as he gestured at the name that was painted on the side

"Heh I see what you did there" Fuyuko chuckled as she eyed the ludicrous amount of weapons that adorned it

"And I see my request has been fulfilled quite nicely" Edd commented as he examined the second vehicle which was a cherry red four seater dune buggy that had been armored and armed to the teeth to include a mounted machine gun on the side and back.

"Who you?" Eddy asked with a smile

"Me Max" Edd replied gleefully as he finished quoting a movie that they had watched many times over from Ed's movie collection back home

"Ok, I think we might not die immediately…how do we get it out?" Tomas asked as he noticed that the door was almost a whole six feet shorter than the 'Bachmann' as Pete puts it

"Get what out now?" Pete asked confused

"…you're kidding me right?" Tomas questioned in disbelief

"If I say yes, will it make you not complain?"

"Goddammit there's always a fucking catch" Tomas muttered to himself as he brought his palm to his face

"Sooo…is that a yes or…?" Pete asked, but before Tomas could mind snap Edd stepped in

"Wait a second, has anyone seen Ed?" everyone looked around for the tall Ed but he wasn't anywhere in sight "Ed missing plus giant vehicle with its door op…oh no" Just as Edd calculated the future the vehicle hummed to life

"IT'S A BOY!" Ed shouted from inside as the vehicle went in full reverse, slamming straight through the garage door and onto the street, almost demolishing the building in the process

"ED! ED WHAT IN SAM HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" Edd shouted as he quickly clamored into the vehicle to find an oblivious Ed sitting in the driver seat that strangely enough had shag carpet as flooring

"Absolutely nothing Double D" Ed replied matter of factly to his panicked friend

"Well…at least he's honest" Tomas chimed in

"And he got it out too" Fuyuko pointed out at the massive hole Ed created just moments ago

"Is that a fucking tank?!" A surprised Benny shouted from outside

"Well obviously" A rather apathetic Andre replied from the van without looking up from his reading material

"Oh shut up you"

"Boy whose asshole did you crawl out of that made you think that doin' that was anything other than harebrained?" Pete asked the blissfully ignorant boy before him

"Eddy crawled out of mine five minutes ago" Ed responded

"…Don't remind me" Eddy mumbled as he shuddered at the thought of being trapped in the van seat, earning an awkward silence in response

"Well get on out of there before you hurt someone" Pete commanded as Ed got out of the seat

"Well at least someone other than me is trying to teach Ed bet…"

"I mean look at that hole, it's puny! I would've takin' the whole thing down" Pete criticized

"Nuh uh mister, from the angle the vehicle was parked in I did the maximum possible amount of property damage from the destruction of the door to the demolition of the wall" Ed countered

"Boy you think you know more bout wreakin' shit than me?" Pete shouted

"You bet your chickens Ed does!" Ed shouted back

"What'd you say about my momma?!" Pete seethed as he raised his fists to challenge Ed to fisticuffs

"50 on Ed!" Fuyuko shouted

"Ill take that action, go crazy old dude!" Eddy shouted

"You think you can out-wrassle me?!"

"ED SMASH!"

"…I'm surrounded by idiots" Edd sighed in mental defeat as Tomas put a hand on his shoulder

"Now you know how I feel" He consoled as he watched the spectacle before him in annoyance

"Umm dude we got a problem" Benny said as he pointed down the street to a horde of incoming zombies

"Shit noise must've drawn them out…Ok enough we gotta go now!" Tomas shouted as he made a run for his motorcycle

"Ed, Eddy and I will take the dune buggy!" Edd shouted as they made their way to it with Eddy driving, Ed in the passenger seat and Edd in the back

"I got the Bachmann" Pete shouted as he climbed into the driver seat "Oh yes sweetie…daddy's home"

"We got the van!"Benny shouted as he jumped into the driver's seat with Andre still in the passenger seat

"Come on Fuki we should probably stay in here"

"…Fuki?" Fuyuko questioned with her claymore drawn before being dragged back by Hannah's surprisingly strong arm

"Alright Pete you take the front and mow em down, Benny you stay in the middle and Eddy protect the rear, remember were going for the west highway exit!" Tomas commanded as he revved the engine

"What are you gonna do?" Eddy asked from the radio that was conveniently attached to the cars dash

"I'm just going to try not to die" Tomas responded as he pulled out a sawn off shotgun that was holstered on the motorcycle and took out a zombie that was in the way "Terminated" He said to himself before speeding off towards their goal

The next ten minutes was nothing short of a never-ending nightmare, it wasn't an over the top one liner filled jaunt like the movies would lead you to believe, it's a fight for your very life that seemed to go on and on as they traveled down street after street.

"You ladies doin' ok back there?" Pete asked as he made yet another sharp turn

"I think I'm going to be sick" Hannah mumbled as she bounced around in her seat

"WOOOOO DO IT AGAIN!" Fuyuko shouted as she felt it she was on a roller coaster

"You wanna have some real fun? Get in that seat" Pete offered as he gestured to the seat next to him that was in front of a control panel with various controls and small screens

"What is all this?" She asked

"All the firepower I got on this baby? You can control them all from here remotely; it's like a vidya game with real bullets!" Pete pointed out

"And real explosions?" She asked excitedly

"Only one way to find out" Pete smirked as she took the controls of one of the machine guns and pulled the trigger of the controller…only to have nothing happen

"Well shitbiscuits…the wiring must be screwed up again"

"Hey Hannah think you can get up there and see what the problem is?" Fuyuko asked the wide eyed girl

"IM TRYING NOT TO DIE HERE AND YOU WANT ME TO FIX THAT?!" She shouted as she bounced around in her seat from yet another sharp turn

"You're the genius or something right? Use that to fix shit!"

"THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!"

"Oh just do it already I'm getting bored"

"But-I-errrgh FINE!" Hannah surrendered as she made her way up to the machine gun via a ladder that could be pulled down for easy access. As she unlatched the door and clumsily made her way up to the weapon she immediately felt the sharpness of the wind barrage her in the face as she tried to find the source of the wiring issue "How in the…is that a twizzler?" She mumbled to herself as she tried to familiarize herself with the device to no avail due to the all the distractions around her "How in the wor…EEEK!" Hannah was interrupted by a lone zombie that had managed to grab hold of the side of the vehicle and climb towards her in her distraction, however before she could react the top of the zombies head seemed to explode as it fell of the side dead and showered her his blood and brain matter. "U-u-unclean"

"Yo man keep it steady!" Andre shouted to his brother in the driver seat as he tried to aim his shotgun out the side window

"Oh I'm sorry am I ruining your relaxing Sunday drive through the sea of GODDAMN ZOMBIES!?" Benny replied sarcastically as he swerved around a zombie

"Just drive through em!"

"What are you stupid? This things heavy but it aint no battlemech!" Benny shouted before being distracted

"I AM UNCLEAN!" A crazed Hannah shouted as she immediately opened fire upon the zombies with barrage after merciless barrage

"I have the weirdest boner right now" Benny whispered as he stared at the helpful but very scary girl before him, earning a bewildered stare from his brother

"…dude what the fuck man?"

"Eddy please maintain control of the vehicle and for heaven's sake FASTEN YOUR SELTBELT!" Edd shouted over the sounds of gunfire and zombie growls

"Jeez what are you my mother? Just keep shootin' assgunner" Eddy shouted back at Edd who was gingerly using the back mounted machine gun, making sure to only fire on ones that were a threat to them in an effort to be as efficient as possible

"TASTE THE WRATH OF EVIL TIM!" Ed shouted from the passenger seat as he unknowingly pressed a button on the console in front of his seat, causing it to extend out to the side where he could aim more freely. The spectacle of Ed wielding not only the car mounted machine gun but also his own LMG in his right hand was not missed by the other passengers as he sprayed wildly into the passing crowds of zombies.

"That a boy Ed!" Eddy shouted right before being interrupted by a familiar voice

"I AM UNCLEAN!" A crazed Hannah shouted as she immediately opened fire upon the zombies with barrage after merciless barrage

"I sense a disturbance in my pants" Ed said to himself as he remembered the last time she got like that, he was also unaware of the innuendo he implied

"…I have the weirdest boner right now" Eddy said to himself as he stared at the crazed girl

"Eddy…was that really necessary information to share?" Edd asked in disgust

"Sharing is ca…" Ed was interrupted by a traffic sign that had slammed into his head at high speed

"GOOD LORD MAN ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?" Edd asked in concern after a moment of silence

"No I'm Ed, my dad has a shovel though" Ed responded before going back to shooting like before

"Yeah he'll be fine" Eddy reassured as he turned his attention back to the road "OH SHIT!" Eddy shouted as the buggy plowed through a zombie, causing it to roll over the top in a bloody mess and splash Edd's clothes in blood

"IVE BEEN DEFILED!" Edd shouted as he registered the stains on his clothes

"DON'T YOU START; ONE WEIRD BONER IS ENOUGH AS IT IS!"

"…Yaoi confuses Ed" Ed said to himself as he turned back around and continued shooting

"SHUT UP ED!" Both Eddy and Edd yelled

"Outta my way numbnuts" Tomas said to himself as he fire his shotgun at an oncoming zombie, hitting it directly where it counts. He surveyed the situation as it stood; Pete had managed to carve a semi clear path through the increasingly thickening horde of zombies while everyone else seemed to be holding their own. He then eyed a peculiar sight as he saw Hannah fiddling with the machine gun "What in the hell is she…oh shit" He muttered to himself as he saw a zombie grab onto the side and B line straight for her.

He quickly responded by driving up close and shooting the zombie right in the head in the nick of time "Hannah are you ok" He shouted as he noticed an all too familiar eye twitching "Welp I'm gone" He said to himself as he slowed down right before she shouted

"I AM UNCLEAN!" A crazed Hannah shouted as she immediately opened fire upon the zombies with barrage after merciless barrage.

"Holy crap" Tomas whispered to himself as the van drove up next to him

"Weird boner?" Benny nonchalantly asked

"Yup" Tomas answered as he reloaded his shotgun and made his way back into the fight

"Did she figure it out yet?" Pete asked as he blissfully continued to tear through the undead like a hot knife through flesh eating butter

"I don't know…HEY BRAINIAC YOU FIGURE IT OUT YET?" Fuyuko yelled towards Hannah

"I AM UNCLEAN!" Is what she heard followed by the sound of machine gun fire.

"…I guess she did" Fuyuko muttered

"Looks like my trouser snakes woke up again" Pete said to himself

"…I'm going to go over there now and pretend that I didn't hear that" Fuyuko said as she walked towards the back. As she did a small milk snake slithered out of Pete's pants pocket and onto his ten gallon hat

"Was it somethin' I said?" Pete asked as the snake seemed to hiss slightly before laying down for a nap

Eventually the group made their way to the ramp to the west highway exit, an area that Tomas is all too familiar with as flashbacks to the massacre echoed in his mind. He quickly exhumed those thoughts as he surveyed the area, notably the ramp itself which was being used for the military roadblock which still stood strong despite clear signs of wear and tear, fortunately for the time being there were no zombies in sight.

"So Pete, think you can clear it?" Tomas asked Pete, the Behemoth responded by having its rocket launcher aim towards the blockade and unleash a barrage of rockets, eviscerating the blockade and the vehicles in its path, creating a semi clear pathway.

"Does that answer your question?" Tomas heard an accented voice respond with pride clear in its voice.

"Yeah…but it looks like we need to get going, we got more incoming" He responded as he saw even more undead clamoring towards them from where they just came from. But just before they could leave a loud honking was heard from down the other street as without warning about half a dozen or so odd tricked out cars screeched onto the scene and formed a blockade on the street that the zombies were closing in from.

"Long time no see my friend!" An accented voice bellowed from a tricked out 1969 El Camino that was painted a very bright green, white and red to resemble the Mexican flag (naturally) as it pulled up next to Tomas's motorcycle.

"Marquez? Where the fuck have you been?" Tomas asked with a smile as he examined the man before him who had buzzed black hair, measured around 5-7, looked to be in his early to mid 20s and looked like your typical gang member, tattoos, tough exterior, the works, the only exception was his brown eyes which seemed to house a kind and gentle soul.

"Damn does the cartel want their cocaine back or something?" Benny joked on the radio

"No not this time my friends" Marquez chuckled as he eyed Tomas "You look like shit" He joked as he embraced him in a friendly hug

"Feel like it too, so again where have you been?"

"Tryin' not to die like everyone else…Is that a tank?" Marquez asked quizzically as he eyed the monstrosity

"He calls it the Bachmann"

"Who…"

"DAMMIT WINSTON MY HAT IS NOT A STRESSBALL!" A familiar voice yelled from the no doubt unintentionally left on radio

"Ah well that would explain why the whole city was shaking" Marquez said aloud

"Yeah high explosives and Texans with access to tanks tend to do that" Tomas chuckled

"Going somewhere?"

"Peach Creek, it's just down the highway…you comin'"

"No my friend I can't this time, me and the boys have been saving as many poor souls as we could so I have to stick around"

"Always the heart of gold I see" Tomas joked as he lightly punched him on the shoulder

"Something like that I suppose"

"Well if it's any help your free to use my apartment while I'm gone, it's got plenty of room should you need it"

"I'll…think about it, you should probably get going, my boys can't hold them back forever" Marquez pointed out as he gestured towards the makeshift car blockade with around twenty or so odd men with various weapons holding back the no doubt extensive horde.

"Alright man, thanks for the help…here in case you need something" Tomas said as he tossed a radio to him

"Thanks be careful out there…ok boys pack it up VAMONOS!" Marquez shouted as he jumped back into his car and sped off with his crew for the way they came

"Alright Ladies, Gents and Eddy move it, Pete take point" Tomas commanded as they made their way up the ramp and onto the highway bridge that was a good twenty feet off the ground, successfully exiting the city.

"Well I would say that that went rather well" Edd said in high spirits after a few minutes of radio silence, no doubt due to everyone taking a much needed rest

"Well no one got hurt so that's a win in my book…but don't let your guard down" Tomas replied just before a loud scream was heard just up the road by a car that appeared to have just smashed into the railing and was hanging halfway over the edge

"Looks to be someone in need of assistance" Edd chimed in

"Yeah…approach carefully, could be a trap" Tomas ordered as the convoy made its way to the scene, Tomas, Edd, Fuyuko, Ed and Eddy approached the disturbance with caution as they noted a female that was engaged with a rather large zombie. However before they could intervene, the blue haired girl quickly delivered a haymaker to its face, causing it to stagger back and then followed it up with another punch to its midsection and a violent shove, causing the zombie to tumble over the edge and impact the road below with a sickening crack

"Dammit Lee's gonna kill me for wreckin' the c…" It was then that she noticed the five other armed figures that were giving here looks that ranged from uncertainty to complete surprise; her reaction was exactly that as she laid eyes on the figure armed with a bow

"MARIE!?"

* * *

**Authors Note: **Oh shizzle my nizzle folks a lot has happened in this chapter, from high levels of gratuitous violence (the best kind) to a familiar character debuting in the series (about damn time right?). Best of all, Peach Creek, which will be coming up next chapter so stay tuned for stuff, things and possibly places!

And as always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic, till next time dear readers!


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Note: **Here we are once again dear readers for the next installment of…wait why am I building this up? You already read the damn title, narrator!

**What?**

Why am I even here?

**Because I'm busy doing copious amounts of illegal substances with Pete and that guy from the sham wow commercials…man that guy has a great right hook**

That's terrible

**And yet no fucks are given, now if you excuse me I have chocolate covered courtesans that I need to put back in the basement**

…I need to rethink my life, anyway since I'll apparently do anything for a paycheck I'm here to tell you to read on…or you know who gets it, now where's my paycheck…

Disclaimer: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me, I own OC's and this crappy laptop…and remember to always read the fine print, Lhankor Mhy knows that I didn't

* * *

**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 11**

"MARIE!?" Edd yelled in surprise as his brain once again found the ability to speak words, Marie had changed quite a bit over the years as was evident by the 17 year olds hair which had grown out considerably to reach her mid back and resembled that of a lion's mane with its volume, however despite that her hair still maintained its initial shape and style, covering her right eye. She stood at around 5-9 wearing a black leather jacket that hugged her frame over her traditional black tank top, green cargo pants that showed signs of extensive use and a pair of weatherworn black boots along with black fingerless gloves with spots of red adorning the knuckle area.

"Oh, hey whats up?" She replied coolly as she dusted off her pants

"What are you doing all the way out here!?" Edd asked with concern as he lowered his weapon and started checking her

"Well I was…what are you doing?" She asked with piqued interest

"Yo Eddy…who's that?" Fuyuko asked Eddy who was standing next to her away from earshot of the others

"Her? That's Marie…she's trouble, that's all you need to know" Eddy whispered with narrowed eyes

"Actually I want to know more…whats her deal, why is she trouble?" She commanded more than asked

"Well…when we were kids her and her sisters used to mess with us, stalking, forced make outs, the works" Eddy remembered with a slight shudder as he thought back "But about a year ago she comes up to us during lunch at school out of the blue and goes on about how she was sorry and she felt terrible about all the crap she did and yadda yadda yadda, anyway after that Edd's been on good terms with her…I think" Eddy added as he always wondered why Edd never really explained what was going on, not that Edd ever lied to him intentionally but he never could get a straight answer from his sockhatted friend.

"I see…" She replied as she processed this new information

"Jealous?" Eddy asked with his trademark shit eating grin

"What? NO…that would be petty" She excused with a slight blush on her cheeks

"Heh I wouldn't worry about it, Edd says that they're just friends and that guy couldn't lie to save his life" Eddy chuckled as he made an attempt to not disappoint her

"If you say so…" she replied as she stared at Marie "You still think she's trouble?" She asked intently

"Maybe… honestly compared to her sisters as of late, Maries tolerable at the very least…but still a kankers and kanker I always say" Eddy whispered as he kicked a small rock in front of him

"Well if you must know Marie I am checking you for any injuries, one is better safe than sorry I always say" Edd explained as he proceeded with his examination

"If you wanted to check out my body all you had to do was ask sweetie" Marie jokingly teased, once again leaving Edd unable to formulate words

"See what I mean?" Eddy chuckled as he watched his friend make a fool of himself, a favorite past time for Eddy next to cash, money and precious booty…and omelets of course.

"Yeah…I do" She muttered as she glared daggers at the blue haired woman

"Just keep the cat fights in wet mud or pools of jello will ya?" Eddy joked with a grin…earning a fist to the arm

"Well…I'm guessing you know each other?" Tomas joked as he wrapped an arm across Edd's shoulders in an attempt to calm him down…that and keep him from spazzing off the edge of the highway

"You could say that" Marie replied with a smirk

"Right…" Tomas muttered as he unwrapped his arm from Edd "So I'm guessing you're going to need a lift?"

"Well nah as long as I can get this pile of crap up and…" But before she could finish the sound of scraping metal followed by a loud crash could be heard as the car that was already halfway over the edge toppled over and smashed into the ground below, right onto the still moving zombie that she had defeated minutes prior, even zombies can't catch a break it seems. Everyone focused their attention on the figure standing by the area where the car used to be.

"Ed…what did you do?" Edd asked as calmly as he could

"It tried to fly double d but it forgot that cars couldn't fly, the little dickens" Ed replied innocently as he peered over the edge at the mangled heap of what used to be a semi functioning automobile. Everyone then stared at Marie for her response

"…eh it was a piece of shit anyway" Marie shrugged "Besides it was Lee's in the first place, what do I care?"

"Well if we have all that settled we should get going, we should probably get in and out of Peach Creek before nightfall" Tomas pointed out as he made his way back to his bike "You can ride with them" He said as he pointed at the Eds

"What? Why us?" Eddy complained

"Because I'll punch you if you don't" Marie replied as she punched him in the arm, in the same place that he was punched just moments ago

"OW you just punched me though!" Eddy complained once again

"Eh I punch you anyway shorty" She jokingly mocked as she made her way to the dune buggy

"Aww cheer up Eddy, you don't need both arms to drive" Edd joked as he walked past him

"Yeah yeah just keep your kanker on a leash while the vehicle is in motion" Eddy grumbled as he rubbed his arm in an attempt to bring feeling back into it

"I wanted to be a salamander once" Ed chimed in as he walked next to Eddy

"Shut up Ed"

As the group continued on down the highway and left the charred cityscape behind, the scenery along the highway proved to be just as grim and demoralizing as they past nothing but abandoned cars, shambling corpses (but not enough to warrant a threat as they easily passed them by) and a rather uncomfortable silence as they passed by the open fields of the countryside.

"Hey Bro" Benny radioed Tomas who in turn turned down his music player that was playing Road to Hell by Bruce Dickenson

"Whatsup?"

"You think this place we're going to is gonna be just like home?"Benny asked with concern

"Honestly…probably but there's been so little information about whats going on that it's hard to tell, I'll just assume that were heading into a danger zone at this point"

"So what you're saying…is that we're on a highway to the DANGER ZONE?" Benny asked, clearly enjoying the obvious pun

"…Goddammit Benny" Tomas groaned as he shut off the radio and turned up the music, which as if fate was in on the joke as well the song highway to the danger zone started playing. "Of course" He chuckled as he got lost in the catchy tune.

"So worth it" Benny cheered inbetween laughs as he shut off his radio

"You're an idiot you know that?" Andre muttered as he was engrossed in his reading

"Yeah but I don't give a fuck" Benny responded as he ceased laughing "How can you read in a car man? I'd get carsick in like the first five minutes"

"Eh I just don't" Andre shrugged

"Well…I'm bored, read me a story" Benny whined as he enjoyed intentionally pestering his brother

"Oh I have a story for you alright" Andre mumbled as he pulled out a CD from his CD binder

"What the hell is that?" Benny asked curiously as he navigated the road

"Oh you'll see" Andre replied with a hint of mischief as he put in the CD in the drive and it buzzed to life

"Hope she's going to be ok" Fuyuko said to herself as she looked at Hannah who was passed out on one of the eight bunks in the Bachmann, who knew that a psychotic episode with heavy weaponry could make someone so tired

"Eh she'll be fine, my pappy used to do the same thing when I was a kid…course he also heard the voices of all the men he killed in the war in his head, or so he says" Pete said in an attempt to comfort the girl in his own way…we think

"That…makes me feel so much better?" She asked perplexed

"Glad I could help" Pete replied oblivious to her uncertainty

"Whatever I'm gonna take Blondie's queue and take a nap, I'm beat anyway" She whispered as she climbed in one of the bunks and get some no doubt much needed sleep

"Ed move your stinkin' head, you're getting drool all over me!" Eddy complained as he shoved Ed lightly who had his head stuck out the window with his tongue flapping in the wind like a dog

"Sorry Eddy" Ed apologized as he stuck his head further out the window to prevent his drool from showering his friends

"Whatever" Eddy mumbled as he focused on the road ahead along with the two in the backseat

"…and so to make a long tale short, here we are" Edd said to Marie as he finished telling her the events that lead up to now

"So she seriously kicked your ass with a stick for hours on end?" Marie asked in disbelief as she suppressed a smile

"Well…her training methods were unorthodox to say the least and half the time I felt like Eddy did when Ed dropped that house on him when we were kids"

"I really brought the house down that day huh guys?" Ed asked

"That's certainly one way to put it" Edd chuckled

"You're just jealous because you can't take pain like this stud can" Eddy gloated with a grin

"Really now? As I recalled from those years ago you were bedridden for at least a week after that fiasco…and the COMPLANTS 'Double D my foot hurts' 'Double D my pillow is chunky' 'Double D I don't think I'm gonna make it' quite a taxing time"

"You done drama queen?" Eddy grumbled at his friend's overly dramatic depiction of the events

"Oh believe me Eddy compared to you I am merely a pauper in the hierarchy of drama" Edd quipped back, earning a laugh from Marie

"You and your words" Eddy grumbled

Yes…well anyway despite all that I am quite thankful, that training has been quite helpful on more than one occasion"

"Yeah maybe now you won't punch like a girl" Marie joked as she lightly bopped him on the side of the head

"You must never have been on the wrong side of Sarah's fist then"

"Oh yeah, how is the twerp?" Marie asked as she remembered Ed's younger sister

"Still a stuck up brat" Eddy replied bluntly

"Come now Eddy while she still has her…tendencies, she has come a long way in improving her manners" Edd pointed out

"Yeah she only uses me for her boxing lessons once a week now" Ed said as he rattled his head and a boxing glove rolled out onto his hand "So that's where that's been, Sarah's been looking for that" He said as he slipped it into his jacket pocket

"Gross" Eddy sneered as he eyed the ear wax covered glove

"So tell me pint size, how do ya even see over the wheel seeing as you could pass for a legal midget?" Marie joked as she used Eddy's head as a footrest

"Oh easy, like this" Eddy replied with a mischievous grin as he intentionally hit a bump on the road, causing Marie to bounce up and hit her head on the car roof.

"You asshole!" Marie yelled as she readied her fist

"Ahem, please restrain yourself for the vehicle is in motion, besides If you would've had your safety belt fastened then that would not have happened, " Edd pointed out while rubbing his head

"…fine" she grumbled as she laid back in annoyance while Eddy focused once again on the road, chalking up a mental victory

The convoy continued down the stretch of highway for around two hours until they came upon the exit to Meadowbrook, the city in which the community of Peach Creek resided outside of. As they drove they eventually came upon a fork in the road with a sign with an arrow pointing left for Peach Creek and one pointing right for Meadowbrook which could be seen in the distance in the same dystopian manner as everywhere else has been.

"Alright Double D you're the lucky winner, which way do we go left or right?" Tomas asked on the radio since he was fairly unfamiliar with the area only passing through Meadowbrook once almost 10 years ago as a child. As if the answer wasn't obvious enough a resounding explosion echoed from Meadowbrook followed by part of a large skyscraper collapsing, raining debris on those unfortunate enough to be underneath.

"Did you really need to ask?" Edd questioned

"Nah I just wanted you to feel important, left it is" Tomas resolved as he turned left with the convoy following suit. The road in question was eerily quiet and desolate as they drove through what looked to be a forest in which the trees blanketed the pathway like an organic tunnel, giving a rural feel to the area which did not help to alleviate tensions since the trees cut off the majority of sunlight, casting strange shadows within the trees.

"Man this is creepy" Marie said as she eyed the forest intently

"No kidding" Eddy agreed as he thought about the horror cliché of monsters stalking them from within the forest…only his paranoia actually held water due to recent events. It was then that he noticed his friend next to him lurch forward suddenly and peer into the forest

"What's with you lumpy?" Eddy asked

"I think I saw something guys" Ed replied in a serious manner, a rarity indeed

"What could it have been?" Edd asked as he scanned the trees

"I don't know, it was swinging from the trees like the jungle people from 'Honey I ate the mailman'" Ed responded

"I think the lack of sunlight is choking your brain monobrow" Eddy said

"Like Nuclear Man?" Ed asked with glee

"Sure Ed…sure" Eddy mumbled as they continued down the road for a few more minutes before the forest cleared out to reveal the community of Peach Creek, a contrast to the sprawling Metropolis of Meadowbrook with its small town feel. As they drove in they found the town to be surprisingly devoid of life…well undead life more or less as the streets were clear of anything moving with the exception of the occasional paper or plastic bag coasting along the breeze. As they drove into the town center they were greeted with a gruesome sight, what looked to be a hastily set up military camp was in shambles and looked as if a wild beast or beasts had ravaged the camp, leaving nothing but wanton destruction and piles of mutilated bodies and gore of the unfortunate tenants.

"Damn…I'm never going to get used to seeing this shit" Tomas said to himself as he disembarked his bike weapon at the ready with his people following close behind as they entered the campsite with the exception of Andre, Benny and Pete who were keeping an eye on the vehicles.

"Zombies?" Eddy asked as he poked the body of what used to be a whole human male in military garb that was now merely just a mutilated torso

"Probably" Fuyuko said with disgust as she stepped over another unrecognizable body

"I'm not so sure myself" Edd whispered as he analyzed everything around him like an investigator at a crime scene.

"Oh yeah well what else could've done this then Mr. I know everything?" Eddy mocked immaturely

"Well first off the wounds are inconsistent to that of zombies, these wounds look more feral in nature and don't match the dental structure of the human mouth" Edd replied without hesitation as he closely examined a corpse cautiously as one could never be sure weither they were truly dead or not…the exact wording for what to call a walking corpse escaped him, undead came to mind but to Edd that just sounded redundant.

"I found Warren!" Ed yelled as he stared at the side of a tent, interrupting Edd before he could delve further into the concept of what the correct term could be.

"Ed who are you refer…oh my" Edd gapped as he what had caught Ed's attention; three large tears ran along the side of the blood coated tent.

"What the hell?" Tomas asked himself as he stared at the strange mark

"Looks to be from a claw of some sort…although I've never seen anything like this in all my years of living here" Edd concluded as he stared at the damage with interest

"Check it out" Eddy said as he unloaded the magazine to one of the many broken assault rifles lying around "Hasn't even been fired"

"How odd" Edd responded thoughtfully as he unloaded a few more rifles to find each magazine full and unused "Whatever attacked these poor souls must've caught them by surprise" He concluded as he peered into the surrounding trees and buildings

"I don't like this…let's search the place for anything useful and get the hell out of here" Tomas commanded with everyone in full agreement. It took about 10 minutes to search the makeshift base to only come up empty with the exception of the rifle magazines which they found nine of. Afterward they quickly made their way to the vehicles and continued toward their destination unaware of the rustling in the trees from the lone figure watching them with interest.

"How strange" Edd muttered to himself as he once again tried to piece together what could've caused such carnage

"If you strained your brain any further you'd probably cause a supernova" Eddy quipped sarcastically at his ever thoughtful friend

"While I'm rather surprised you remembered the term supernova, I believe your understanding of it is lacking at best"

"…anyone ever tell ya that you can be a buzz kill sometimes?"

"Only you Eddy, only you" Edd rolled his eyes in exasperation as he turned his attention back to the road as they turned onto a familiar road. A couple of minutes of driving later they laid their eyes upon a welcome sight.

Home

Only things weren't the same as they left it, a large imposing razor wire fence encircled the cul de sac that was clearly meant to keep out intruders , the houses were also in terrible conditions with bits of debris and sheet metal protruding from them…although the Eds were already aware of this particular detail. There was also what appeared to be a makeshift roadblock in front of the only road into the cul de sac with ruined vehicles set up in front as a barricade, but just like the camp from town this roadblock appeared to be abandoned…but not devoid of life.

As the convoy approached the entrance Tomas, who was heading the convoy, could make out a group of people in the distance, one outside the fence with an assault rifle and the rest inside as what looked to be a heated argument was taking place.

"Please return to your homes, it's not safe outside" Commanded what looked to be a young soldier in his late teens, his voice had a slight lisp to it and was fairly high pitch for a male, making to tough for him to issue the command in an authoritative way

"No way man, we've been pinned up in here for TWO WEEKS like animals!" Shouted a fairly built red haired teen

"Yeah whats the big idea?" added a shorter teenage girl with red hair

"Please be reasonable, I'm just following my orders" The soldier replied fairly weakly as he was clearly losing control of the situation. But before things could flare up even further he noticed a group of vehicles approaching with a man on a motorcycle at the helm.

"What's going on here?" Tomas asked as he dismounted with his weapon at the ready, just in case.

"N-Nothing that concerns you" The soldier replied meekly as he clumsily aimed his weapon at Tomas "STEP BACK!" He commanded as Tomas took a step towards him

"Ok, ok take it easy, I don't want any trouble" Tomas responded calmly as he held his hands up to convey that he wasn't a threat. As he eyed the soldier with short blonde hair he also noticed the unmistakable hint of fear radiating from him "You aren't really going to shoot me are you?" Tomas accused in the most non confrontational tone he could muster

"I-I-If I have to I will!" The soldier replied as he steeled his resolve ever so slightly

"…Whats your name?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your name…you do have one don't you?"

"…Preston"

"Ok Preston, I'm putting my gun down see?" Tomas said as he slowly dropped his weapon on the ground, opting to reason with the clearly scared individual before him. The air was thick with tension as all sides watched the confrontation unfold. "Now…What is it that you're doing here, if you don't mind me asking?" He asked politely

"I-I was ordered to guard the entrance, no one goes in or out" Preston responded

"Just you alone?" Tomas asked rather surprised, however his question was answered when Preston's eyes darted to one of the jeeps blockading the road which had dried blood along the side "Ah…I see"

"Back up is coming soon though" Preston said in a tone of false hope

"…from town?" Tomas asked, getting a nod in response "I…don't think you should get your hopes up on that" He received a look of accusatory anger as the message got across "And no it wasn't us before you start jumping to conclusions…we found them like that"

"Oh…shit" Preston muttered in dismay

"Look how about we talk…without the guns, you really don't need to worry about us, we're not bad people"

"Why should I believe you?" Preston asked with a hint of venom in his voice

"What other choice do you have?" Tomas pointed out as he both outnumbered and outgunned the kid by a large margin "Look I know things are strange, you're alone and you're afraid I understand that, but I'm telling you the honest truth when I say we are NOT going to hurt you…so please put the gun down, for everyone's sake" He pleaded as he truly didn't want to have to resort to violence 'There's enough of that as it is' he thought to himself as he carefully eyed the kid as a plethora of thoughts seemed to cross through his mind, but in the end he opted to lower his gun.

"I'm not putting it down…but I'm not going to shoot either" Preston concluded as the tension in the air seemed to dissipate as everyone sighed in relief.

"Well that's a relief" Tomas happily mumbled as he picked his weapon back up and shouldered it "Can you get this gate open?" Preston obliged as he unlocked the gate and swung it open…only to be greeted with a strong fist to the face

"This is for cooping us up you asshole!" The red haired boy shouted as he readied his fist for another swing as a blonde haired girl grabbed his wrist with surprising strength

"Kevin NO this isn't helping!" The blonde lectured effectively as Kevin seemed to calm down

"Sorry Nazz…I'm just annoyed" Kevin apologized as he rubbed his now released wrist

"I can see that" Tomas chuckled as he examined Kevin who stood at a respectable 6-1 with red hair pulled back in a ponytail that was covered with a red and black bandana followed by a red cap turned backwards. He wore a sleeveless white T-shirt that accented his athletic build along with a pair of grease stained jeans and worn black shoes, giving him a look that screamed 'grease monkey'

"Who the hell are you?" Kevin questioned as his steely blue eyes bore daggers into Tomas

"Easy kid I'm just returning some damaged goods" Tomas joked as he gestured towards the Eds who were standing out of the way looking rather afraid

"You…where have you dorks been!?" Kevin shouted as his shouting had caught the attention of the rest of the cul de sac residents

"What is this Rolf hears of ducks?" An extremely tall and imposing teen with a strange accent asked as he made his way over to Kevin, He stood at an incredible 6-8 with an unkempt mane of blue hair down to his shoulders and a rough beard. He wore his yellow shirt with a red stripe, blue dirt stained jeans and black work boots.

"Woah where have you dudes been?" Nazz asked who stood at 5-7 with soft blond hair that curtained down to her lower back and gentle blue eyes. She was wearing her white tank top with black undershirt, blue pants that cut off just below her knees and black vans.

"Ed is that you?" Asked a teenage girl who stood at 5-5 with light red hair that was tied back in a ponytail that reached her upper back. She was wearing her pink sleeveless shirt, light blue pants and white shoes.

The reunion was rather touching at first with everyone asking questions and voicing their worries…then something about a destroyed bike came up…then Eddy said something abrasive and confrontational as usual…then it devolved into a downright shouting match amongst the cul de sac residents, and they were doing so well up till that point.

"You dorks destroyed my bike!"

"Ed I've been worried sick about you, wait until mom finds out!"

"Rolfs shed resembles that of my great ancestors who fought in the great squid war of ages past!"

To them I'm sure this mess of white noise represented to something of a coherent conversation, but to Tomas it was just annoying and mind grating. After what seemed to be an eternity he finally opted to end the endless barrage of noise with even more noise as he took his revolver and shot it into the air, ceasing the arguments instantly.

"What the hell man?" Kevin shouted as he held his hands to his ears in discomfort

"Now that I have your attention…it's my turn to ask questions" Tomas sternly said as he turned towards Edd "Now then…what the hell are they going on about?"

"Well that is a rather well…eventful story" Edd nervously started "B-But to make a long story short, we decided on partaking in one of Eddy's hair brained scams…for old times' sake and well let's just say that my invention left a rather noticeable addition to the neighborhood" Edd nervously finished as he gestured to the debris that still protruded from the houses

"That thing destroyed my bike!" Kevin shouted in anger

"Oh quit your whining, it's not like we've been having a fun time out here! Besides we got bigger things to worry about than your stupid bike!" Eddy yelled back

"Why you…"

"ENOUGH!" Tomas shouted, silencing them both "Like a bunch of twelve year olds" He muttered to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose before composing himself "But Eddy's right on one thing, we do have bigger things to worry about"

"Like what? Whats been going on?" Nazz asked curiously

"You mean you don't know?" Tomas asked in surprise

"Private Dickbag over there wouldn't tell us a damn thing!" Kevin yelled as he pointed towards Preston

"First off I'm a Corporal, second I was ordered not to say anything…granted that's not much of an excuse since I'm the only one left but still" Preston defended

"Doesn't matter now...is this everyone?" Tomas asked as made a mental headcount of the cul de sac kids

"Not exactly...Jonny's been missing since the fence went up and Jimmy…Jimmy's sick" Nazz said with concern

"Sick…How so?" Tomas asked fearing the worst

"About three days ago he started getting really weak, like he couldn't even stand or stay awake weak; he's been bedridden in Ed's house since then"

"Did Jimmy come into contact with anyone strange or receive any wounds over the past week?" Edd asked seriously

"No not that I know of, we've just been letting him rest and drink lots of water…well what water we have left" Nazz replied

"Hmm come gentlemen I need to give Jimmy an examination, I might know whats causing his aliment…although I truly hope I am wrong…I really do"

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**Author's Note: **Finally finished up this chapter, took me longer than I thought it would due to edits and rewrites (I'm a bit of a perfectionist after all) but I think I finally got it down, I don't know I'm sure you will let me know though.

This chapter had quite a lot of content originally but as I was writing I realized that it would make more sense to split it up into 2 chapters so that way it doesn't turn into a chore of a chapter to read (Nothing wrong with long chapters but once it reaches a certain point it can get fairly taxing to read through, especially if there's a lot of information to process, tis my opinion)

Anyway next time, what exactly is wrong with Jimmy? Will Edd figure out what exactly to call a walking corpse? Does Rolf's chest look like a shag carpet that ate a hippie and got dunked in a vat of blue possibly toxic paint?...Stuff, we can only hope and YES, anticlimactic? Probably but now you know the secrets of Rolfs chest hair so…that makes everything better? Sure why not

As always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic, till next time dear readers!


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note: **Here for another chapter you say? Well then…use your eyeholes to read the freakin chapter what am I your mother? (I might be your father but THAT'S another story for another time I'm sure)

Disclaimer: I don't own any and all stuff and/or crap that clearly doesn't belong to me; I own OC's and this crappy laptop…now KNEEEEEEEEL!

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**The Ed Chronicles I: Living In a Fire World**

**Chapter 12**

Edd entered Ed's house with purpose as he swiftly headed to Sarah's room with everyone in tow where Jimmy was being looked after. He entered the room to find a girl around the age of 17 sitting next to an unconscious form on the bed.

"Double D is that you?" Asked the girl who looked to be of average height with extremely long poofy, curly red hair that was tied back in a ponytail.

"Ah hello Cassidy good to see that you are well" Edd replied sincerely with a smile as he examined the unconscious form in the bed "How long has Jimmy been like this" he asked as he held the back of his hand on Jimmy's forehead

"About…3 days I would say" Cassidy replied after a moment of thought

"Hmm fever…skin lesions…butterfly shaped rash…Sarah is Jimmy still taking his medication?"

"He ran out about a week ago"

"We would've went to get more at the pharmacy in town but that asshole at the gate wouldn't let us go" Cassidy spat as she gave a mean glare to Preston who was leaning on the door to the hallway.

"Cassidy there's no need for that right now" Edd chided as he got to his feet "It's just as I feared, Jimmy's Lupus is acting up. Sometimes the symptoms will go away over time but with Jimmy and how sickly he can be…I think it would be in our best interest to get him his medication as soon as possible" He concluded as he gave the news

"Is he going to be ok?" Sarah asked meekly, a sharp contrast to her usually loud voice

"As long as he receives his medication and plenty of rest he should be just fine" Edd said with confidence to comfort her more than anything else "Fortunately his has no sign of infection either, so we can take solace in that"

"Infection?" Sarah asked in confusion

"You mean you don't know?" Edd asked in surprise

"Well whatever it is your talking about I'm sure we would've known about it if it wasn't for this cocksucker!" Cassidy seethed with a distinct Irish accent as she stomped her way towards a mortified Preston

"I think it might be best if we focus on whats ACTUALLY important right now…which is finding this kid's medicine and moving along" Tomas interjected sternly as he blocked her path, no doubt saving Preston from a violent beating

"And who the fuck are you?" Cassidy challenged fearlessly despite the height difference of at least 5 inches

"The guy whose calling the shots and I say that right now we should focus on the medicine" He responded with authority

"Why you…"

"Fine…but we're not through yet" She threatened at Preston before exiting the room in a huff

"I'm sorry about Cassidy…she hasn't been in the best of moods ever since Chris went missing" Nazz said as she decided to defend her friends rudeness.

"Chris is missing? No wonder her fuse is shorter than usual, poor girl" Edd whispered to himself

"So…someone said that his medicine is at the pharmacy in town?" Tomas asked since time was of the essence.

"It should be yeah" Sarah answered

"Ok…in that case that should be our first course of action does any know where it is?" Tomas asked

"I know the way…although I must confess I do not know what Jimmy's medicine would look like" Edd confessed awkwardly

"I'll go, I know what it looks like" Sarah volunteered

"Ill go with you baby sister for Ed must protect you!"

"I can take care of myself you fathead!" Sarah mercilessly yelled before stomping off, catching everyone by surprise

"Jeez whats her problem?" Eddy mumbled as even he was surprised by the sudden outburst that required him to cover his ears

"Tensions are running high, plus Sarah is…well we know Sarah" Edd replied as he tried to put it politely "Don't worry Ed we'll keep her safe" He reassured as he squeezed Eds shoulder in support

"Guess I'll go too…better than stickin' around here" Kevin mumbled as he grasped the bat that he grabbed on the way inside the house "I'll…do what I can" Kevin promised Ed, more out of pity than anything else, after all even he couldn't ignore how strained the relationship between Ed and his sister was. While his promise was said in a lazy manner, that was more than enough for Ed.

"Alright were gone, see if you can move Jimmy into the APC, there should be a bunk for him to use" Tomas ordered

"Why should we move him?" Nazz asked with curiosity

"Just trust me alright, I'll explain when we get back" Tomas replied as he made his way out the door, Nazz simply nodded her head as she turned her attention back to her bedridden friend

"What the hell happened here?" Kevin asked himself as he gazed upon the carnage left in the town center

"Bad things" Tomas replied as he held his rifle close

"Oh yeah that explains everything" Kevin mumbled sarcastically as he fixed his hair back

"The pharmacy is just right down the street gentlemen" Edd announced pointing down the indicated street, as he made his way there however an object caught his attention. The body of a uniformed soldier lay maimed and near unrecognizable but despite that he could tell that the uniform indicted that the deceased man wasn't a regular soldier, perhaps an officer of some sort. However what had caught his attention was a lightly bloodstained folder still locked in the iron grasp of the dead soldier, curiosity overtook him as Edd pulled at the folder to no avail, he tugged with more force which did the trick of freeing the folder…along with the rest of the arm that detached from the body much to Edd's dismay.

"Could've gone my whole life without that" Edd mumbled to himself as he pried the hand off the folder and dropped the severed limb on the ground in disgust "I wonder whats so important that this poor soul would hold on to this even in death…"

"Yo dork you comin' or what?" Kevin shouted from down the street, breaking Edd out of his train of thought

"Oh yes coming!" Edd shouted back as he put the folder in his backpack for future reading.

The inside of the pharmacy was as uninviting as it could get, shelves and trash haphazardly scattered across the dirty blood stained floor, telltale signs of battle adorned the walls in the form of bullet holes and scorch marks but worst of all, the store was completely looted.

"Waste of goddamn time" Kevin muttered as he kicked a piece of trash across the floor in boredom

"Jimmy's medicine would be in the back idiot" Sarah countered as she pointed to the locked door to the back where the prescription medication is kept.

"Ok I got this" Kevin said as he heaved his foot repeatedly at the door in an attempt to break it down, which only resulted in a very sore right foot

"If your quite done I believe I have just the thing" Edd said as he pulled a bobby pin out of his hat and got to work picking the lock of the door, with a mere half minute of focus the door unlocked and swung open.

"When did you learn to do that?" Kevin asked with surprise at Edd's knowledge of such a skill

"Knowledge is power Kevin…although I really should keep this thing from Eddy" Edd mumbled as he stowed the pin back into his cap while remembered the ill fated cruise liner scam

"ITS NOT HERE!" Sarah who had already ran inside shouted as she frantically upturned shelf after shelf of medication

"Maybe someone took it?" Tomas wondered as he more calmly perused the various medications that he had absolutely no chance of knowing what they were used for

"Then why wouldn't they take everything else and why aren't you helping?!" Sarah shouted at a still bored looking Kevin who merely watched from the door

"Someone's gotta keep an eye out for…whatever's out there"

"Gentlemen I think I have the answer to our queries" Edd announced as he handed what looked to be an order sheet over to Tomas "It's a list of all the medication that was supposed to be shipped here from the larger pharmacy in Meadowbrook"

"However the motto of neither snow nor rain doesn't exactly end with nor mobs of flesh eating zombie fucks?" Tomas finished

"Something like that yes" Edd replied

"Well shit, looks like we're going into another city after all" Tomas muttered before a foreign object collided with his head "What the…" He was unable to finish as the object unleashed a cloud of obfuscating smoke, obstructing his vision. The next couple of minutes were a mess of noise and stumbling as everyone was in a mad scramble to navigate out of the cloud of smoke, eventually three figures made their way out into the storefront

"What in the flying fuck was that!?" Kevin yelled, clearly in a sour mood

"I haven't a clue" Edd replied haphazardly as he attempted to gain his bearings

"Guys…where's Sarah?" Tomas asked as he readied his rifle for anything

"LET ME GO!" The three quickly turned around to see a group of about a dozen armed men with their faces covered, they looked rough and weathered as they were wearing clothes that were just a step above rags and armed with weapons that clearly had seen better days. As one of the men gagged Sarah's mouth the three boys readied their weapons for the inevitable when the leader of the armed men spoke.

"I suggest that you lower your weapons, I would rather that no one gets hurts" The leader spoke with a backwater accent, his face was covered as well but despite that he still came off as rather unremarkable, not menacing or evil but just…unremarkable

"And if we don't?" Tomas asked emotionlessly

"Then I can't be held accountable for if anything unfortunate happens" The leader responded plainly

"…what do you want?" Tomas asked, getting straight to the point

"Our scouts saw your group enter the town with what they described as a 'shit load of stuff', I want it…ALL of it" The leader responded

"I see…and I assume that if I don't do just that then…"

"Then the girl will not live to sun down" The leader finished

"Ok, I just have one question"

"And what would that be?"

"What makes you think that you're going to live to sun down yourself if you go through with this?"

"I don't think anything…Two hours, you have two hours to give me what I asked, do not be late" The leader vocalized before he and his men disappeared in the woods with Sarah in tow.

"Hey get back here you assholes!" Kevin shouted as he finally found his voice

"This does not bode well for us" Edd said fearfully

"No shit…we need to get back to the Cul de sac to come up with a plan" Tomas concluded

"Indeed, although I do have one concern"

"And that would be?"

"Where are we supposed to meet them?" Edd asked

"…FUCK!"

The three boys made their way back to the cul de sac in 10 minutes time due to them running as fast as their legs would take them. Everyone was congregating around the vehicles that were parked in the middle of the cul de sac conversing amongst themselves and getting to know each other when they noticed the boys return.

"Hey dudes…you guys ok? Did you find Jimmy's medicine?" Nazz asked as she noticed that they were sweating and seemingly out of breath

"Well…"

"Sarah's been kidnapped!" Kevin shouted in a fit of rage, interrupted Tomas who planned on breaking the news in a more…controlled manner

"Smooth" Tomas muttered at Kevin

"BABY SISTER IS IN TROUBLE, IM COMING SARAH!" Ed shouted as we haphazardly ran down the street before tripping on a banana peel that Eddy had casually tossed in Ed's path.

"Cool your jets Lumpy, Who did it?" Eddy asked

"I have no idea" Tomas replied as he caught his breath "But they said that if we don't give them everything we got in two hours then…well it won't be good Ill put it that way" Tomas replied gravely

"Then give it to them" Nazz yelled

"No"

"Why not?" Nazz demanded

"Think about it, if we do that then we'll be both defenseless AND starving afterward; besides…they didn't tell us where to meet"

"Waylay a friend of Rolfs will they? Let the son of a shepherd locate the good of nothings so I may grind them into feed for the plants of my people!" Rolf bellowed as he pulled out a menacing looking battleaxe from seemingly no where

"…that's messed up dude" Kevin said with fear at the sight of the enraged foreigner before everyone else starting arguing amongst themselves.

"People people PLEASE CALM YOURSELVES! Arguing will get us no where!" Edd shouted as everyone momentarily silenced themselves. "What we need is a plan"

"Yeah? Well we don't know where they are and yet they expect us to give them everything we got in TWO hours? What the fuck kind of plan could we possibly come up with?" Cassidy sternly asked as he forced her way to the front of the small crowd of people

"Hey guys!" Shouted a familiar voice from the fence entrance as a boy with brown skin and an afro clutching a piece of wood in his arm casually strolled on over. "Is that a tank? Far out!"

"Jonny?!" The cul de sac kids all shouted at once "Dude where have you been?!" Nazz asked in disbelief

"I was living in the woods" Jonny replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

"…why?" Kevin asked

"Because I can, besides Plank wanted to visit his family, you know how his parents get if he doesn't drop in right buddy…what do ya mean they thought my gift was tacky?" Jonny questioned his non sentient friend.

"And you've been living in the woods for the last two weeks?" Cassidy questioned while ignoring Jonny's strange behavior that she like everyone else in the neighborhood was used to.

"Yup, but we came back because Plank forgot his toothpaste"

"And his deodorant too apparently" Eddy mumbled as he noticed that Jonny smelled quite foul due to his extended stay in the woods

"What's deodorant?" Jonny asked

"…That's just gross" Fuyuko muttered

"I've been finding my inner warrior" Jonny said as he posed in a martial arts stance "Also we've been seeing some weird stuff in the woods lately right plank?"

"What kind of…weird stuff?" Tomas asked the strange kid before him

"I…I don't know but they give me the creeps, they aint natural…whats that buddy? Yeah she did look a lot like Sarah huh?"

"Wait say what now?" Tomas quickly interjected on Jonny and Planks conversation

"Plank and I saw a bunch of guys with someone that looked like Sarah head for the trailer park" Jonny replied

"…well that's convenient" Benny joked as everyone turned their heads to Marie who was standing to the side wide eyed.

"What?" Marie spat

"Something you wanna tell us?" Eddy questioned with an accusing glare

"Nothing you need to know midget" She seethed at the short Ed

"Enough, we don't have time for this!" Tomas shouted

"But…"

"Enough Eddy, we have bigger things to worry about" Tomas commanded with authority, causing Eddy to back down for the time being but not before shooting Marie a glare.

"Great now we know where they are, let's take this tank and shoot the shit outta them!" Kevin shouted as he raised his bat in the air.

"That's a no go kid, The Bachman's a tough bitch but she aint designed to run through a forest" Pete pointed out as he eyed the forest

"Plus there's the creek in the way, no doubt our vehicles would get stuck on the creek bed" Edd added

"Then Rolf shall lead a war party to sally forth against these savages that dare harm the loud mouthed Ed sibling!" Rolf shouted as he tightly gripped his axe

"Hell yeah!" Kevin agreed

"No" Tomas commanded

"Then what the fuck do we do oh mighty leader?!" Cassidy yelled as she dug a finger into his chest for emphasis

"Simple…we give them everything we got"

"Tell me again why this is a good plan?" Marie asked as she, Tomas, Edd, Ed and Eddy made their way through the woods to the trailer park, no doubt they were being expected.

"It's probably not but its best I got on such short notice" Tomas replied

"Yes, if we had more time we could've done some recon or laid some traps but due to the two hour deadline we just have to…well wing it" Edd added as he adjusted his grip on his bow and arrow

"You think we're going to have to fight them?" Eddy asked as he carried one side of a cooler with Ed carrying the other.

"If Jonny is able to use his knowledge of the forest to sneak everyone around and surround the trailer park, maybe we can force them to surrender without anyone getting hurt…or worse. But we need to distract them until Jonny can get everyone into position"

"Oh yeah because I love being bait" Marie sarcastically joked

"Of course, oh and put this on" Tomas said as he tossed a bandana to Marie "Put that over your face"

"What why?"

"They're your neighbors right? It's probably for the best that they don't recognize you"

"Good point…so is this part of your brilliant plan?" She joked with air quotes as she fastened the banana to her face

"Nope, it's a part of my last minute, half assed plan that probably won't go as planned" Tomas corrected as he checked his rifle's ammo

"Your sense of humor is more hazardous to my health than it should be" Edd muttered as they made their way to the trailer park entrance. Upon entering the trailer park through the front they were greeted by around a dozen armed men aiming at them from tactical positions on top of trailers, behind turned over tables and so on with the leader and one other who was restraining a rather pissed off Sarah who were standing about fifty feet away straight ahead.

"You know I was expecting more" The leader greeted while eyeing the heavy looking cooler

"Funny how that works out" Tomas muttered as he let his rifle hang loosely from the strap around his neck and pulled out a rather intimidating looking revolver but not aiming it "Tell me, did your scouts also tell you about the tank?"

"That they did, hence why you are meeting me here"

"Clever, although I probably wouldn't have brought it even if I could"

"Oh and why would you do something like that?"

"It would be a pity if innocents were to be caught in the crossfire…that is why you're going through all this trouble right?" Tomas questioned as he glanced at what looked to be a children's toy lying on the ground.

"Maybe, maybe not, what difference does it make?"

"Well maybe if you had asked nicely and didn't throw a grenade at my head then I might've been inclined to work out a fair trade with you from the start" Tomas stated, hoping maybe to talk the leader down to be more reasonable

"I'm afraid I couldn't do that even if I wanted to, the state of things at this point in time don't allow for such necessities"

"So just because the worlds going to shit means that grenades to the face is a feasible alternative to saying hello? I don't buy that"

"And why not? That's what everyone else did when they stooped as low as to kill their own neighbors to gain mere scraps of food or hell what about the military who did nothing but imprison people in their own homes and shot those who did so much as step foot outside just because they needed to find food so they could feed their families…face it human decency in that regard is a luxury that we cannot afford, especially when you have an entire community of people to think about" The leader added with a twinge of sadness in his voice

"So that's your justification to kidnapping, because you're responsible for others? Have you stopped to think that maybe there are others out there that are in your exact same situation but yet don't stoop as low as you have?" Edd asked

"That matters not…all that matters to me is providing for my own, now do you have what I asked for?" The leader asked as he turned towards Tomas

"Well not exactly what you demanded but I am offering you a trade, I have filled this cooler with food, water and other essentials. If you release the girl unharmed then I will give it to you and no one has to get hurt…Please at least look at whats in there." Tomas pleaded as the leader rubbed his chin in thought, a moment later he snapped his fingers and two men approached the cooler. "Just check it…nothing else" Tomas told the men who merely gave him a momentary before opening the cooler to check its contents, a few moments later they closed the cooler and walked back to the leader.

"There's a lot of good stuff in there sir…it might not be a bad idea to at least think about it" The man suggested

"Do you make the decisions around here?" The leader asked the man who merely shook his head "Then shut it" The leader scolded before having another moment of thought "My scouts reported large vehicles full of supplies"

"Your scouts were wrong, that's a big chunk of what we have…it'll honestly hurt us greatly to lose it" Tomas half lied, while the loss of the cooler of food would be quite significant, it wouldn't leave them starving…but they didn't need to know that.

"…I think you're lying" The leader concluded with conviction

"I wouldn't lie to you, not with her life on the line!" Tomas countered as he eyed the ever angry Sarah

"You haven't brought me what I asked for…you know what that means" The leader said emotionlessly as he walked towards Sarah with a pistol in hand.

"WAIT!" Tomas shouted frantically as he tried to piece together a way to distract him just a little longer "You…You said that you have a community of people to protect right?" He asked

"Yes I did" the leader replied offhandedly as he continued his pace

"…You wouldn't want any of them hurt right?" Tomas said, he had a plan

"What are you implying?" The leader asked, his interest caught. Tomas then quickly put Marie in a chokehold and held his revolver to her head

"What the fuck are you doing?!"Marie spat angrily

"Play along, I have a plan" Tomas pleaded in a hushed whisper while everyone else watched in surprise with the exception of Edd who quickly caught on to the improvised plan. Marie calmed down as the plan clicked in her head "This better work" She whispered threateningly

"And what exactly are you doing?" The leader asked in confusion, Tomas replied by ripping off Maries bandana, revealing her face. "…Marie?"

"Tables turned, Take my offer or she gets it" Tomas shouted, doing his best to try and sound convincing

"She ran away about a week ago, as far as I'm concerned she's not a part of our community…go ahead and shoot her if you wish" The leader responded coldly, while his reaction was a shock what really caught Tomas's attention was the reaction of the person restraining Sarah who seemed to be visibly shaking.

"What the fuck Melvin?!" Marie shouted hatefully at the now named leader

"…your name is Melvin, really?" Eddy asked in disbelief

"I TOLD YOU TO NEVER USE THAT NAME!" Melvin shouted suddenly as he quickly aimed his pistol at Marie in a fit of rage, but before he could continue the person restraining Sarah tossed her to the ground and aimed a pistol at Melvin

"You even think of pulling the trigger at my sister and I swear ill shoot until they can't recognize your ugly mug" The person shouted in what sounded like a low pitched female voice

"About damn time you did something you bitch!" Marie criticized

"You know her?" Tomas asked

"Yeah…she's my sister"

"Oh yeah that is Lee, thought that was a dude for a while there" Eddy quipped

"Shut it shorty!" Lee shouted back without taking her eyes off her target

"Lee what do you think you're doing?" Melvin yelled

"Nobody threatens my sister except me" Lee replied with a glare

"Then you betray us as well, men shoots these nuisances at once!" Melvin shouted, clearly losing control of the situation.

"You know for someone who claims to protect his own…you sure did throw Marie and Lee to the wolves rather quickly. It makes me wonder, do you really care or do you just view your people as expendable?" Tomas questioned, making the armed men hesitate

"Do not listen to this fool, he speaks lies!" Melvin frantically yelled as he noticed his men's hesitation

"I don't know boss he kinda has a point" One man voiced

"Yeah I mean I got a kid to think about too" said another

"Well I think we need more shiny things!" declared another who was followed by a chorus of approval

"What? I mean YES of course! I shall double the amount of shiny things to be had by… uh DOUBLE!" Melvin decreed, which was followed by a round of cheers from the rather easily placated crowd

"Wow this is stupid" Eddy mumbled

"I actually with you for once" Marie grumbled as she face palmed in a vain attempt to shield her brain from the waves of pure stupid.

"Shiny things aint gonna be used as bribery on my watch!" Shouted a familiar voice as Pete appeared from the trees out of seemingly nowhere with a grenade in each hand and a pissed off snake riding on his hat.

"Ok now who the hell are you?" Melvin asked with a strained tone of voice

"I'm the fella with grenades who don't give a fuck!" Pete replied

"But…those aren't explosive grenades" Melvin pointed out

"Oh yeah…how'd I miss that?" Pete mumbled as he stared at the grenades

"I'm just going to end this before anything else happens" Melvin said as he readied his weapon

"I know there was a reason why I had these things…" Pete muttered to himself

"Say goodbye, I can't say it was nice knowing you people" Melvin finished as he prepared to fire at the outnumbered group before him. "Ok boys open fi…"

"Oh wait now I remember!" Pete yelled before pulling the pins and throwing them straight at Melvin's head.

"OW WHAT TH…oh shit" Melvin squeaked as he noticed the live grenades at his feet go off and release a thick cloud of smoke, followed by lots of confused voices and uncontrolled gunfire

"Not as planned but…whatever, ok guys follow the plan Ed get Sarah out of here!" Tomas commanded, hoping to salvage the already confusingly fucked plan.

"There are some people in that trailer over there that they have tied up!" Sarah shouted as Ed quickly scooped her up and exited the trailer park

"Shit…Edd come with me!" Tomas shouted at Edd who nodded in response, before they could react though they heard a yelp of pain from Lee who fell over clutching her left arm that was bleeding profusely from a stray bullet. "Eddy, Marie get her out of here!" They quickly complied as they each took an arm and carried her into the relative safety of the trees. Tomas and Edd being the only ones left used the shroud of smoke to quickly make their way to the trailer unseen and burst through the door to find two figures, one male and one female in their mid twenties tied and gagged. They quickly scooped up one each and quickly made for the exit before the smoke could dissipate, however as they neared the exit Tomas was tackled by a rather disheveled and manic Melvin, causing him to drop the person he was carrying, he managed to kick Melvin away just far enough to get to his feet.

"Don't worry miss I gotcha" Pete said as he picked up the female form that Tomas had been carrying.

"Pete, Edd get them out of here, I got this Dickbag" Tomas commanded without taking his eyes off of his target.

"Try to be quick about it!" Edd responded before he and Pete disappeared into the trees

"You've ruined everything!" Melvin shouted in a crazed frenzy

"Ruined…what exactly?" Tomas asked in confusion

"STUFF!" Melvin yelled

"Right…look out behind you!" Tomas shouted, causing Melvin to turn around

"Oh I see, use trickery to try and get the upper hand, a commendable tactic!" Melvin complimented just a bit too enthusiastically

"I just wanted to see if it would actually wo…HOLY FUCK!" Tomas shouted in horror as a massive creature that towered a good eight feet on two hind legs appeared behind Melvin, the creature was the living embodiment of horror as it was a combination of flesh of an unnatural pigmentation, claws that could tear through its competition like a hot knife through a Mazda Miata and a form that looked to be a deformed wolf conceived from Rob Bottin's most twisted nightmares.

" Oh yes because that old trick is going to work twice in a row, nice try though" Melvin joked as Tomas merely stood petrified in fear at the monstrosity before him "See I'm going to turn around and there's going to be noth…oh" Melvin's next thought trailed off as he tried to comprehend the creature that stood before him. "Well…fuck" The creature quickly ran its left claw through Melvin's chest cavity with ease and proceeded to lift him off the ground, causing a sickening mixture of noise to emanate from the now blood soaked wound. Melvin tried to vocalize his pure terror but before he could muster the ability to do so the creature sliced its right claw through his left arm, dismembering it with ease.

Tomas eyed the carnage before him in disbelief as the creature continued to maul Melvin, a cascade of screams orchestrated from deeper in the trailer park as Tomas caught images of other creatures descending from the trees upon the rest of the parks inhabitants, tearing through them just as easily as they did Melvin. Tomas finally gain control of his senses as he quickly retreated through the woods back the way they came, it was almost too similar a feeling, what he felt on that fateful morning weeks before, the adrenaline, the seeming lack of control, only the desire to escape…to flee.

Tomas emerged out of the woods and back to the cul de sac where everyone was accounted for and were checking on Sarah and patching of Lee's bullet wound.

"OW watch it!" Lee shouted at Edd who was finishing up bandaging Lee's wound

"Oh quit your complaining Lee and take it like a man" Marie scolded

"But I aint no man!" Lee countered

"Could've fooled me" Eddy muttered

"Why you…" Lee would've finished but in that moment Tomas came sprinting in like he had saw a ghost

"Pack everything up now, we're leaving!" Tomas ordered as he readied his motorcycle

"Dude whats going on?" Kevin asked

"JUST DO IT!" Tomas shouted, surprising everyone

"Well…you heard him let's go!" Edd yelled as everyone split in a frenzy to quickly pack their valuables

"Kevin here!" Edd shouted as he took the dune buggy keys from Eddy and tossed them to Kevin

"Whats this for?" Kevin asked

"Keys to the dune buggy, payment for the whole…bike incident" Edd responded awkwardly, Kevin stared at the keys for a moment before responding

"Thanks… maybe I'll give you guys a lighter beating later" He joked with a smile before running off "Nazz, Rolf I got a ride!"

"What the hell man?" Eddy seethed at his friend

"That was the whole reason I had Pete fix up that thing in the first place, besides you know what we did to his bike"

"Yeah yeah whatever, you're just lucky that I got a ride we can use" Eddy declared with a gleam in his eye

"You do?" Edd asked in surprised

"Of course I do, boys follow me" Eddy ordered as he swaggered over to his garage with his two friends curiously following him "Boys I give you…the love machine!" Eddy beamed with pride as he opened the garage to reveal the retro van from the junkyard fixed up, it had its same color scheme of purple with flames along the side and on the inside was a clear throwback to the 70s with shag carpet and a new waterbed, along with two large speakers just like it had in the junkyard, all in all the retro tackiness just screamed 'Eddy'

"I don't even have words" Edd grumbled as he took in the VERY dated van design

"Oh lighten up; it's the chariot of kings' baby!" Eddy beamed as Ed immediately jumped in the back on the water bed.

"Bed good for Ed!" Ed shouted joyfully as he enjoyed the waterbeds features

"See Ed likes it"

"Hopefully it has gas at the very least" Edd mumbled as he climbed into the passenger seat of the admittedly comfortable seat.

"A full tank plus a full can in the back, a pimp must always be prepared" Eddy announced with pride as he climbed into the driver seat.

"Yo dorks we're leaving!" Kevin shouted from his newly acquired dune buggy with Nazz in the passenger seat and Rolf in the back.

"Yes Ed boys, bring that desecration to the taste of this century to life like you do other automadohickeys!" Rolf yelled from the back

"It's called a car dude" Kevin corrected

"DO NOT QUESTION THE WORD OF ROLF!"

"…let's just go before this gets any worse" Edd sighed as Eddy pulled out of the garage and behind the convoy of vehicles that were waiting on them as they quickly drove down the road "Hopefully someday we can return to our homes, like how they were before"

"Eh cheer up I'm sure we'll be back before you even know we were gone!" Eddy assured

"I hope so Eddy…I hope so" Edd replied as he watched his home and eventually town disappear from sight as the group proceeded onward to their next destination. But unbeknownst to them a group of savage creatures with fresh blood adorning their claws eyed them before proceeding to follow their trail.

* * *

**Author Notes: **Holy crap this took a while to complete, I'm sorry about that but I'm telling you writers block is a bitch. But fortunately I worked my head out of that slump with rewrites, determination and interpretive dance. Anyways hopefully it came out good and hopefully you enjoyed it, especially since the mood of this chapter was about as stable as my head (which is to say not at BURN THE WIMENS!...all)

And as always weither you love or hate this fic consider taking the time to review, favorite and/or fap to this fic, till next time dear readers!


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